Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Merry Christmas   Hostess With The Mostess

Started Dec-13 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 260 views.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-13

Hello all!

Last year was a tad apocalyptic, so this year I will return to the Christmas cheer.

But first, I will tell you the tale of this year's tree...

Time for a new one, we decided to go for something different and smaller.  So got in early and chose a white 2 metre tree.

On the day I was planning to set it up, of course, the parts in the box were wrong.  So I had to schlepp back to Big W and replace the tree (thankfully still mid November so they had 2 left) and try again.

Success!  AND it all clicks together in 5 parts.  The old tree took a couple of hours to put together.  This one snaps into place in 4 minutes.

Left the decorations to the next day.  Got the main crate out, opened it and was confused that there was water inside.  Then the smell hit.  The shoe boxes we use to store the decorations had really done well to cultivate the mold.  Got everything out of the box (no gloves, of course) in stages and set about looking at what could be salvaged.  The plastic baubles were OK, but anything with material or wood had to go.  These were ornaments people had hand made, or had been bought in South Africa, Germany... you know - the irreplaceable stuff.

What I could salvage needed to be aired and dried outside in the sun.  Of course, the newspaper kept flying away, so I started sensibly and lugged heavy bricks from the side garden.  Then I decided stones would work just as well - and I could carry 4 at a time.  Naturally I chose stones that had been sitting in the hot sun all day, but instead of dropping them for ones in the shade, I thought it best to run them to the drying station while shouting "OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!! OUCH!"  I chose stones from the shade the next time.  Don't tell me I can't learn anything!  Eventually...

So here is what I could save on full display... (along with my OCD)

And here is the finished tree...

Yes, I know it's crooked.  ALL Christmas trees are supposed to be crooked.  It's tradition.

Besides... it could be worse...

Or better...

Anyhoo.  I'm not sure exactly how many days it is til Christmas, but I'll let you know when you only have a week left and need to start panicking.

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 1
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-14

Hello people,

So, we just had our lawnmower guys quit.

Personally, I have no problem with that, given they have a knack for whippersnipping sprinklers, hoses, the crank on the washing line (that took special effort) and - of course - the solar lights that took hours to set up.

My attitude to Christmas lights now is similar to these people...

Hope you're having a lovely day and not wrestling with that one last knot that will set the lights free!

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 2
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-15

We have to brave the shops today. 

I hope this is not the last you hear from me...

I may need bail money.

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 3
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-16

Hi all!

So, today I am doing my second week of training at the animal sanctuary in Southern River.

My first week did not go well, as I blew a tyre doing 100k on Tonkin Highway.  Thankfully a back one, or who knows where I would have ended up!

It was 38 degrees (for any of you still using the old imperial measurements: 100kph if fast and 38 degrees is HOT!) and I could have been facing anything up to a 2 hour wait for a tow truck, because the RAC couldn't fix the tyre on the roadside for safety reasons.

Anyhoo, I don't know if it was coincidence - but at the EXACT moment I bent over to take this photo:...

...I managed to flag down a pick up truck!

Perhaps it was mere coincidence... or perhaps, at 27 years of age, I've still got it! For those of you already typing a mathematically differing opinion - SHUT UP!

Anyway, he was an Arborist named Tom and I sent him a thank you card with some scratchies.  It's nice to know there are good people out there willing to stop and change a tyre for a damsel in distress.

A dear friend is having major surgery today (the 16th, but he's in the US, so that could be today or tomorrow) so I would appreciate thoughts and prayers for Robbie. (Steve, you handle the prayers and leave the thinking to KT)

Those of you with differing theological beliefs, or have just exhausted all will for rational thought for this year, then here are some following options:

  • Summon the Dark Lord Cthulhu
  • Sack a Norwegian village (only if you're in the area)
  • Revive a dead celebrity (literally, or creatively - up to you)
  • Do a rain dance
  • Do a sun dance
  • Get a tattoo
  • Punch an annoying neighbour

Now, animal sacrifice is frowned upon, but if you must insist - then go big, like the Incas, and do 10,000 llamas.

Just be sure to do it all in the name of Robbie!!

Love to you all,

Jeni

Cat's Christmas Spirit

In reply toRe: msg 4
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-17

Subject:
Not quite panic time yet.
From:
Jeni Rule <sassy.librarian@optusnet.com.au>
Date:
17/12/2021, 11:10 am
To:
Ada <atalbert@broadstripe.net>, Becky <dbbglw@gmail.com>, Clare Livingston <czlivingston@sky.com>, JB <langlands.graeme@gmail.com>, Kid Magnet <kidmagnet4@gmail.com>, PTG <jhendrixii@hotmail.com>, Robb Livingood <robblivingood@gmail.com>, Shawkn <shawkn@wavecable.com>, Steve Warren <frsteve1952@gmail.com>, Todd <thunter5@bigpond.com>, Vicki <vicki.hunter@bigpond.com>, Wendy Morris <wendy.morris@gmail.com>, Mum <helenkr@optusnet.com.au>, Dawn <daybreakb@hotmail.com>, Karen K <karenk@iprimus.com.au>, Nola <nolawant1@bigpond.com>

Thank you all for thoughts, prayers and dances.  Robbie came through surgery just fine.

Now if someone could just send Cthulhu back to the depths of the Pacific ocean, that would be great.

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 5
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-18

Hi all!

Yep, it's only a week left.

I've decided to adopt ambivalence over panic for now.

Having Chrissy drinks with the neighbours tonight.  Margaritas are a great cure for anxiety.

And here's some jokes!

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 6
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-21

No, I did not forget.

I just wanted to think more carefully and be more discerning about today's jokes.

I promise - no dildos or toddlers flipping off the camera.

You know - less offensive, more politically correct stuff!

Cheers,

Jeni

In reply toRe: msg 7
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Dec-21

Lots of last minute changes to the menu over here.  Hottest Christmas day since 1968 is forecast.

I think "general apathy" will be this year's theme.

Cheers,

Jeni

Santa Oddity

Santa Oddity (Live)

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSanta Oddity (Live) · Umphrey's McGeeSanta Oddity (Live)? 2018 Nothing Too FancyReleased on: 2018-12-14Auto-gen...

Merry Christmas!

Villancicos: Qué Bonito está mi Niño

Intérprete: Cantaoras del Patía

Autor: Folclor Tradicional

El Patía, Cauca

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