Coalition of the Confused

Hosted by Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Confused malcontents swilling Chardonnay while awaiting the Zombie Apocalypse.

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Comic Relief   The Lounge

Started 7/25/17 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 222866 views.
PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

10/9/19

The Importance of walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 90 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $4,000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we have no idea where the hell he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing...
 

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 250 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there!

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

10/10/19

SEX AT  73

I just took a   
leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can
have sex at  73.

I'm so happy, because I live at   
number   71.
So it's not too far to walk home
afterwards.
And
it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have
to cross the road!

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

10/10/19

Sorry I live further down the street! ??

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

10/13/19

Irish version of the life of Jesus

I danced in the morning
When the world was begun,
And I danced in the moon
And the stars and the sun,
And I came down from heaven
And I danced on the earth,
At Bethlehem
I had my birth. 
Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he
I danced for the scribe
And the pharisee,
But they would not dance 
And they wouldn't follow me.
I danced for the fishermen,
For James and John 
They came with me
And the Dance went on.
Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he
I danced on the Sabbath
And I cured the lame;
The holy people
Said it was a shame.
They whipped and they stripped
And they hung me on high,
And they left me there
On a Cross to die.
Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he
I danced on a Friday
When the sky turned black 
It's hard to dance
With the devil on your back.
They buried my body
And they thought I'd gone,
But I am the Dance,
And I still go on.
Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he
They cut me down
And I leapt up high;
I am the life
That'll never, never die;
I'll live in you
If you'll live in me -
I am the Lord
Of the Dance, said he.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

10/14/19

It's such a jaunty hymn to sing.

However the third verse always bothered me.

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