"May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!"
"It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour."
"Overeating at Thanksgiving is a case in point. It’s a national tradition."
"Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries, has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude."
"Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty."
“Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.”
“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?”