Mayonnaise is disgusting, and science agrees
For much of the past year, I have fought a one-sided battle with a popular fast casual restaurant chain that we’ll call “Ready.” Unlike most restaurants, Ready doesn't make sandwiches, assemble salads, or otherwise perform acts of cookery upon customer request. Instead they sell nominally healthy, whole-ingredient-based pre-made soups, salads, and sandwiches. Because I’m lazy and impatient, I’m Ready’s perfect customer and not just because Ready has a location in Popular Sciences’building. They also have another four locations (including one that sells beer) along my commute. So you'd think that Ready sandwiches would be a regular part of my nutritional rotation. But they aren't, because Ready’s sandwiches are disgusting.
The problem is that Ready saturates almost every sandwich with a miasma of mayonnaise. When Ready doesn't use mayonnaise, they use a yogurt dressing which is mayonnaise for people who are ashamed that they're eating mayonnaise. The shame is justified, the yogurt dressing is not. Sometimes Ready uses a less vile condiment, like a whole grain mustard—a condiment with dignity. But when they do, the powers that be cannot allow its presence to go unmolested. No, the mustard gets mixed in with mayonnaise in an abomination called mustard-mayo. Mixing Sriracha with diarrhea doesn’t improve the presence of the latter. Why would adding mustard to Satan's sauce improve the situation?
If comparing feces to a condiment seems like a gross comparison, well, welcome to the science of disgust. Disgust, for the record, is distinct from dislike.