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LifeRing Recovery

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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Rae returning    Sobriety/Recovery Journals

Started 6/17/08 by Rae (raeanne50); 32666 views.
cookly

From: cookly

Jun-22

Hi everyone, 

I'm in that stage of sobriety where I don't want to read or think or talk about it.  But I know I should, for fear of becoming complacent. 

I've had some bridges to mend and yesterday I got to do just that. I had a bitter falling out with my sis in law two years ago which made it hard for my  brother and I to stay close.  In Jan of this year I wrote her a letter of apology which she cautiously accepted. Yesterday the two of them came for an afternoon visit, enroute home from visiting other family. It was nice and warm and my yard is utterly gorgeous at the moment, with bushes in full bloom and flowers galore on the deck. We didn't discuss the past at all, just chatted and caught up in the way we always do.  So she has forgiven me. 

I'm happy and busy. After steady rain for a week during which I didn't even go outside, the yard exploded with growth. Pruning is a daily job, hacking back the bushes along the paths and hoping it'll calm down as it gets hotter.  I enjoy pruning though. I think about only the plant, my way of keeping the outside world noise at bay..self care. 

Hope you are all keeping well. 

Love, Rae  

LolaBug

From: LolaBug

Jun-24

Hi, Rae! I'm so glad you posted. I find I'm falling out of my schedule of daily sobriety work. I don't have a job (disabled) so it's easy for the days to all blend together and nothing but the basics gets done. 

Was texting about this with my recently-retired sister and I decided today I will make a daily to-do list so I can check off my accomplishments. Little things like make bed, water plants, empty dehumidifier in basement.

I also am remembering how my paternal grandfather spent his retirement: sitting on the couch, watching tv, and DRINKING. No way I want to go down that path! My parents didn't drink, so I did have better role models.

I've gotten very lazy since Covid-19 hit, spending lots of time obsessively watching the news. So, time to make some changes.

It sounds like you're at least being active and productive, what with all that pruning! Good on you!

Hope you're having a pleasant day!

cookly

From: cookly

Jun-24

Hi LolaBug, 

Yeah it can be tough to stick with a routine when you don't have a job to structure your days around. We have to make our own. A to-do list is a good idea, I try to keep it 'within reason', lol, and I so enjoy reviewing it at the end of the day and congratulating myself. No huge impressive thing done, but the little things that keep home and body functioning. 

I'm following the news closely too and at times it gets overwhelming. When  I feel anxiety rising I decide I've learned enough, and I tear myself away from it. I consider it an act of self care to protect my brain, healing now from years of all that poison. 

I'm happy that you're here.  Have a good day, be kind to yourself. 

Rae tulip

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Jun-25

Rae

We've had lots of rain here too, and weeds are jumping up all over and I'm worried that my garden might get washed out.  But I just planted two new paw paw trees - I guess that optimism for a 74 year old, but I want to get some paw paws.  I've got two other trees, but they must be the same cultivars since I never get fruit.  We'll see what happens with the new trees - the paw paws are a nice tree even if they don't fruit, so not all is lost.

Glad to hear you are doing well, keep going.

Brian

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Jun-25

Lola,

I have some sympathy for your grandfather - that's what drinking does, it takes away all you interest in other things.  Takes a while to get over that, but it does happen and makes stopping worth it.

Brian

LolaBug

From: LolaBug

Jun-27

Brian-- exactly!!! That is EXACTLY what drinking does! So on my daily list I have sewing, knitting, crocheting, and sobriety work (coming here and to another site to read and respond). If I want to sit and watch tv, which I sometimes need to do to rest my back, I have to be doing something else constructive. 

I'll be working really hard to keep this momentum going. 

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Jun-27

Yes, I can just sit and watch movies - I have to do something else too - drives my wife crazy.

cookly

From: cookly

Jun-28

I had to look it up, never heard of a paw paw tree before. Not surprising since I don't like most fruits. I have one accidental plum tree that I keep small and I snip off all the flowers. The tree itself has a nice shape, that's all. I dug it up with a friend who took me to a yard where the house was being demolished and all the bulbs, plants, trees, were up for grabs. My friend assured me that was a lovely little forsythia. A year later I had a visitor who told me my forsythia had plums on it ! 

MaryLouise3

From: MaryLouise3

Jul-1

Oh Rae, we have pawpaw or papaya trees all around  the place, especially in more subtropical regions. I used to scale trees as a child to knock them down for breakfast.

Love to you

xMaryLouise

cookly

From: cookly

Jul-1

Well that's what I get for living in garden zone 5, no paw paw, no coconut trees...

Its Canada Day, and so different.  For one thing it's cold and rainy, and all celebrations are  cancelled. Its dead quiet in town today.  

My old family piano is coming back to me; dtr is moving and no longer wants it. I'm happy about the piano, but anxious.. Her dad is going to bring it here from Vancouver and she's arranged for local movers to meet him here and put it in the house. Big emotional challenge, seeing him again. The very thought of him disturbs me never mind actually seeing him.  I decided I'll be polite but not invite him in. I can cite Covid concerns. I'm hoping it'll take under 20 minutes, also hoping I keep calm while staying firm. 

Hope you're keeping well, MaryLouise. 

love, Rae    

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