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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Rae returning    Sobriety/Recovery Journals

Started 6/17/08 by Rae (raeanne50); 34506 views.
mkh106

From: mkh106

6/17/08

hi rae,

great to see you're alive and puttering in sunshine.

This site is wonderful and I need the resource, but I don't want to sit in my dark bedroom and get all obsessed with sobriety 'cause its too much living inside my head. I need to be outside in the sunshine doing things I love.

this reminded me of myself  at the beginning: i DID get "obsessed"with sobriety, i HAD to, and it has served me well. i think i know what you mean about "too much " living inside one's head.thoughts about sobriety were all-consuming, and i fed them . came here daily, read about it constantly and nothing else for the first few weeks and talked about it, and only that, to the very few people i had told about my drinking. while that is an exhausting way to go, and while i did have some resentment of all the time this sobriety-thing was gobbling up in my day, i know it's one of the things that helped make it easier for me.

it doesn't need to be either puttering in sunshine doing what you love as "opposed to" sitting in a dark bedroom....it's not impossible to do outside things one loves WHILE focussing on sobriety. actually, hm, isn't it sobriety that enables you to be outside doing what you lov?

anyway, welcome back, glad you have things you enjoy, and write when you want.

margit

 

Kat (katkins7)

From: Kat (katkins7)

6/17/08

Hi Rae

I remember you last time, I was a newcomer then too I think. Congratulations on day 4! I've managed to get a bit further this time for the first time ever, and my interest in my small garden has given me a lot of joy over these last weeks.

Pop in and keep touching base, its good to keep grounded as the days turn to weeks to keep focused.

Rae (raeanne50)

From: Rae (raeanne50)

6/17/08

Hi Margit,

thanks to you and the others for your encouraging replies.

For some reason, this time is easier. I knew it was going to be possible this time after getting past day one. If I can do it one day,I can repeat it the next day. . .

" it doesn't need to be either puttering in sunshine doing what you love as "opposed to" sitting in a dark bedroom....it's not impossible to do outside things one loves WHILE focussing on sobriety. actually, hm, isn't it sobriety that enables you to be outside doing what you lov? "

I guess what I mean is, I'd rather LIVE sobriety than get obsessed with it again while doing little else. I did that before, and it just became a mental exercise.. I didn't apply the principles, just read about them. I have so much lost time to make up for.I traded everything good in my life for a daily bottle of wine.I want to care about things again; I want to participate in life again.

I'll be back here often, just not in an obsessive way this time.

Thanks again, Rae


mkh106

From: mkh106

6/18/08

 I'd rather LIVE sobriety than get obsessed with it again while doing little else. I did that before, and it just became a mental exercise.. I didn't apply the principles, just read about them.

hi rae,

i see better what you mean now.

i did the "mental exercising without applying the principles" for quite a while while i was still drinking, adding yet one more twist to the hilarious insanity. right.

i don't think it's all wasted, though; at least it was in our minds, and likely it had value as a preparation for "the real thing".

alright. wishing you some enjoyment of your fifth sober day; puttering in a garden , sun or rain, is surely right up there as far as participating in LIFE.

margit

Rae (raeanne50)

From: Rae (raeanne50)

6/18/08

Hi Margit,

I'm starting my sixth day today.. got up earlier than usual feeling pretty good and looking forward to my day.

The sugar cravings have kicked in and I'm allowing myself to indulge.. I am chronically underweight and need every calorie I can get. With losing all those empty booze calories I need to replace it with something,at least for now.

I'm rewarding myself in other ways; all that money I haven't spend on wine, I spent at the garden centre ! That sure felt good.

All for now but back soon,

Rae

mkh106

From: mkh106

6/18/08

hi rae,

yes, the money saved adds up surprisingly quickly.i had been functioning well enough to keep my decent job going, but did carry a small balance on my credit card which was creeping upwards by increments. nothing major, but i sue didn't like it.

it's long paid off, and i have this weirdly strange account sitting there that i opened a few weeks after i quit drinking. i HAD to, see, cause i had this money left over every payday, and i had to put it somewhere. i'm still not used to having it, so still live frugally (part of my nature, i think)(rob, i DID go and buy myself a very cool black and gold fountain pen ),and wonder what i'll do with this rather hefty chunk of money that keeps growing. (no ,guys, i'm not buying a bridge in brooklyn...)

going for calories sounds wonderful! combined with garden purchases it sounds magnificent!

rae, i remember some of your story from before, so i just want to say how great it is to see you be sober , looking forward to this day, and a week tomorrow!

greetings,

margit

 

  • Edited 6/18/2008 9:59 pm by mkh106
Sangreluna

From: Sangreluna

6/19/08

Hi Rae and welcome back! It looks like I'm a little late to the party... fashionably New Orleanian. :D Anyway, congratulation on 7 days (?) now. Hey, that's a week!

~Chris
284 Days Sober

Rae (raeanne50)

From: Rae (raeanne50)

6/19/08

Hi Chris, and thanks,

Yes, I made it one whole week! I am very pleased and relieved I could do this. Now onto week two.

Its good to be able to discuss this here,because I haven't told anyone I've quit drinking.. said it too many times in the past only to go back to the bottle again. This past week I told my b/f and a few friends I needed a week alone to do my gardening and recover from the multitudes of company I had the week before I quit. They understand as I tend to need a lot of alone time and they know that.
None of these people drink but I still get anxieties when others are around so don't want to risk it yet.. maybe in another few days...

You know what else? I feel cleaner ! ..physically cleaner ! I suppose thats the self disgust gradually leaving me.

I care about the things I love again.. How sweet is that !!

Hugs, Rae

alceon

From: alceon

6/19/08

Welcome back Rae and super huge congratulations on week one!!

And it just gets better and better :-)

MJK (MJK2111)

From: MJK (MJK2111)

6/20/08

Congratulations, Rae, on your sobriety. I hope you succeed this time around, however you might define success!

 

Good luck,

Mike

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