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LifeRing Recovery

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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Daily Check Ins March 2020   Sobriety/Recovery Journals

Started Mar-14 by mtsle (mtslexmarti); 95 views.
mtsle (mtslexmarti)

From: mtsle (mtslexmarti)

Mar-14

working on day 67 now. things seem slowed down now. My job closed for the weekend so I got the day off, which I'm not really too happy about but it's whatever. I'm just trying to find ways to stay busy and stay focused on my goals. I seem to suffer from boredom quite a bit-- if I'm not doing something, or have something to entertain me, it's like I'm afraid stuff will hit the fan and also that I won't survive the wave of nothing to do. I have a tendency to be overly dramatic at times, but it's just how I experience the world. I'm the kind of person that needs to stay busy, as they say an idle mind is the devil's playground. That's part of what does me in during the times I have succumbed to boredom and made bad choices.

Today, I am grateful that I have some idea of when i will get out of the transition house and things will fall into place as far as my next step goes. Things are just really inconsistent here with staff and administration, and while frustrating, I happen to be fairly resilient and can roll with the punches. Someone else in early recovery may not be. The instability is not helpful for those in recovery, and especially not to those in early recovery. I am grateful for the opportunity afforded to me to get my life back together, but I can just tell it's really time for me to move on with my life and start moving towards the next steps. I can't really continue to grow in the place where I'm at. That, in itself, is frustrating to me. I need to continue to move forward with my life and grow.

I have a personal long term goal of returning to professional work in about a year's time. I'm looking forward to obtaining and maintaining stability. I have mental stability, I need to work on housing and obtaining financial stability. I can't really get another job where I'm at right now due to constraints of the program and that's something I really need in order to save up money. I'm starting out behind because i need to file bankruptcy and clear my debts, but I am glad that I do still have some things, like a bank account, my ID, and a cheap phone for now. I want to obtain that self sufficiency and become a productive, satisfied member of society and I just don't feel like I can move forward with that step in my life until I leave the transition house.

Day 66 starting here. Uneasy with all the panic going on. I've stayed pretty focused so far, just keeping busy, but a lot of negative things are happening in the world along with precautionary fear.

A lot of things have been cancelled here and are closing down. My job is also seeing the effects,and my hours will likely get cut . Even the 12-step groups are emptier and talking about contingency plans in case they have to cancel. I hate how it's affecting my anxiety.

Day 65 here. Gonna be a busy one, plan on going to do my drug screen,go to work,then go to a couple meetings after to fill some time.

The biggest challenge following the transitional house is not knowing where I was going to land. I only have 3 fully funded months of rent there,then the 4th month I'd have to pay 150, then 300, then 450, and finally 600 the whole month. i'm not really willing to do that if I can help it. I have 1 more month funded,I'm going to usethat then skedaddle. I have a friend who I can stay with.i'm on housing lists but whoever knows when my name will come up.

My main goal is to move on, regain independence, and maintain for now. I'm sure I'll have other goals to account for when I get there,but for right now, I'll address them then.i have a list of short term and long-term goals to accomplish right now, with maintenance being ongoing. Long term, I want to complete probation (end of this year), get my record expunged, and return to professional work. I'm just rebuilding my life right now and think it's important to focus on smaller, realistic,and obtainable goals.

I'm nervous about the next step, but know it's the right move to make. I would rather have my own space, but it's okay to share the burden with someone else for the time being. I'm still upset about losing my ex-husband, but i did it to myself.
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