LifeRing Recovery

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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Attempting a Better Life   General Sharing

Started Dec-8 by Carpe78; 468 views.

From: Carpe78


Hello Everyone,

I stopped drinking and smoking on June 20th.  I have been trying to quit smoking for many years with zero success.  I have NEVER tried to stop drinking.  I am a blackout drunk.  I quit when I was pregnant and then back to it.  I quit this time by accident.  I stopped drinking for a bit after having suicidal thoughts. 

I will be 42 this month and my daughter is 5-years-old.  I was accepted into a practical nursing program.  I love my daughter more than anything else and I don't want her to know "drunk mom".  I never drink in her presence.  I kept delaying drinking to get life organized and to feel better.  I then made a conscious choice to quit. 

I tried A.A.; It's not for me.  There's too much of a commitment and I'm not religious.  I can feel the dark cloud lifting, but I still think about drinking almost daily.  I actually feel happy these days.  I'm still high-strung and stressed out, but I feel better.  I just thought that I should say hi.  I found this site and thought maybe it would help?  It doesn't seem busy, but here I am. 

Hello, my name is Carla.  I'm attempting a better life.  :)

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)


Welcome to the forum Carla, good to see you here.  "Attempting a better life," yes, I think that's what we are all trying to do here.  And  6 months is great.  Still having drinking thoughts is common, unfortunately, it just takes a while to get over drinking, both physically and mentally.  Many, probably most, of us here share your experience with AA.  I went to AA for 2 or 3 years before I found LifeRing and left for pretty much the same reasons you did.  The only thing I would say is that having face to face contact with other people trying to stop drinking is a big help at first.  I don't know where you live, so I don't know if there are any LifeRing meetings around you.  If that's not an option, you might look around for other AA meetings.  I went to several before I found the one I kept going to and it wasn't very doctrinaire, which made it easy for me to just ignore the religion and other parts I didn't agree with.  You might try that for a while.  And keep coming back here.  You are right, it has been kind of slow lately, but there are always a few of us checking in.

The only other advice I can give is to just keep plugging away at it.  Stopping drinking is not always easy, but many here have done it, so there is no reason you can't too.  Good luck and looking forward to hearing more from you.


And great about starting nursing school!


From: Carpe78


Thank you, Brian.  :)


From: umeriftikhar


I can relate a lot to your story. Although, I am younger (28) I have suffered because of my addiction. I have contemplated suicide numerous times. Once by taking rat poison, which landed me in the ER for weeks nearly had kidney failure. Twice by slitting my wrists. My friends were there for me in the start but now they just label me as an attention seeker and avoid me. I have BPD and I am just not ok with abandonment. So, life's been rough. Though, I keep trying to get sober. Searching on the internet for any kind of help. Peoples' stories online have taught me so much about my mental disorder and how to cope with my suicidal thoughts. Currently, I am just living to see the day i bury my parents afterwards I will just end my life - or at least that's what I keep looking forward to almost every other day. 

I am scared to have kids, although I think they are the best thing that could ever happen to me. I am not ready for that. I think you are so blessed. You have a daughter to call your own. I know, I don't know you, your life story, your hardships but still I think your daughter is the reason for you to get better. I hope you find the help you need, although you are the only one who can change your life - others can't do that for you. Idk. if this would be helpful to you. I am not very good at expressing my feelings - they are all over the place. I wish you the very best. Peace be upon you !


From: Carpe78


Wow!  Thank you so much for responding to my post.  I also have BPD.  I always tried to end my life with pills.  I struggled so much when I was younger.  I was also afraid to have children.  My daughter is the best thing that has EVER happened to me.  She makes me want to be better, daily.  BPD gets better as you age.  It has for me.  I have learned to understand it and I've learned to cut out all the garbage people in my life.  Surround yourself with people who accept you for you.  They are out there.  I have used alcohol and drugs to mask the pain and because I thought I wasn't worthy.  I am starting to learn how truly worthy I am.  Some of us get dealt a bad hand.  We don't have to keep that hand.  We have the opportunity to trade our cards in.  

I hope you can find something to live for.  Life is beautiful if you can navigate through all the darkness.  

Peace be with you, friend.  :) 

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)



"Some of us get dealt a bad hand.  We don't have to keep that hand.  We have the opportunity to trade our cards in".  That's what it's all about, learning how to do that.  I'd also add "don't draw to an inside straight".  You have to work with what you have and make the best of it, not hope for a miracle.  Things do get better if you just keep working at it.


In reply toRe: msg 5

From: MaryLouise3


Welcome both of you, and there's no better time to come into a forum for support than over the festive season with all the stresses and temptations of a holiday and family gatherings.

Looking forward to getting to know you better



From: scottgiles


Ya I don't really do the motives or intentions rationale or expectations of human behavior I just kinda exist in my own little bubble.

I've kinda learned you can't please all people all the time so I just focus on myself and my parents which works for me.

I do a loved one appreciation day every now and then where I go out of my way to do something nice for people I care about or who have helped me or just say something nice to them.

I'm 31 as ice aged I've found my life has become more simple and even complex problems just tend to resolve themselfs with time. My patience does wear thin at times but I just remember that this too shall pass.

I like doing church things with church people once or twice a week. It's calming.

Anyways just felt like sharing today I didint get too in my life ring meeting.

Scott from california

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)


Welcome to the Forum Scott.  You are lucky, most of us here don't live in an area where there are any live Life Ring meetings.  Feel welcome to come back any time, whether you can make a live meeting or not.



From: Carpe78


You're lucky to have caught on earlier than me.  Thanks for sharing, Scott.  Congratulations, it sounds like you're doing great!  :)