LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.
Rae, I agree with Brian -- you just have to persist and not let the negativity or unfairness get to you.
Sending you love and hoping the colours of Fall are beautiful where you are.
I've been watching Anthony Bourdain for a long time and grieved mightily when he died. But I was not shocked. Takes one to see one. I couldn't help but notice that he didn't drink just out of respect for whatever culture offered it.. no, he liked his drink. So a depressive illness, probably. I have that illness too. How to make it way worse, have that drink that will ease the pain for just a little while. I fight every day against that seduction.. suicide fantasies consume me.
Yes, it's often obvious watching people drink to tell who has a problem. There is a compulsion in the drinking that is hard to miss.
Have you considered taking antabuse. I took it for years and it did help. What is strange is that I never thought of drinking when I was taking it - I never had the idea of having a drink but didn't because of the antabuse. There was obviously something psychological going on there. I often thought if they just replaced that anatabuse with a placebo I wouldn't have noticed. I haven't taken it for a while now, but I still have the bottle in my medicine cabinet and see it everyday. I know it's there just in case.
On a completely different note: I just ate the last of my paw paws. They really do taste like a cross between a banana and a mango - with a custard texture. I planted the first tree almost 10 years ago and this is the first crop I've had. There may have been previous ones that I missed - the fruits grow on the inside of the tree so you don't see them just walking around it - you have to get in and under the branches to see them. I'll know to look next year. And the ones I have don't ripen until after a good frost. I'm going to plant some of the seeds - and then wait 5 to 10 years to see if they are male or female trees - only the females bear fruit.
Rae, is there anyone you can see professionally to help with the depression? Do stay here with us and keep posting, we're listening.
Brian, that hybrid variety sounds delicious. I saw images you posted and they look far more like mangoes than papayas. And the banana would make them creamy or custardy. In Kenya we used to get dozens of varieties of tropical bananas and the small finger-sized ones were best, even with black seeds.
The fruits do look like mangos, but they aren't hybrids, they are a tree native to the Eastern US:
hello MaryLouise, I was admitted to hospital Oct 19 due to a suicide attempt, caught by my neighbour fooling around with a hose on my car exhaust pipe, discharged yesterday. Happy to be home with my animals. I received excellent care. I'm connected with an alcohol counsellor, a grief counsellor and a new psychiatrist with phone appointments booked for next week with each of them. I see now that I can't stay sober on my own without this professional community support team.
In terms of personal relationships, I'm staying away from critical family members including my daughter and brother, and finding, to my surprise, its not so painful to do that. The bonds will heal or they won't; nothing I can do about it. I do have the support of a few friends, and my nieces and nephews.
all for now, love Rae
Rae, I'm so sorry! Thank goodness for your neighbor. Thank goodness for the help you're receiving from professionals. Please, please stay with us. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
Having said that, I do get it. At one point I gave myself an "expiration date." My life wasn't going well, so I decided if nothing good happened, if nothing changed by a certain date, then off I'd go.
Something positive happened and here I am. Still struggling with life on life's terms, but working on it and finding tiny things to be grateful for.
I mean, at times my gratitude list has included, " I have teeth." The bar was set really low that day!
Circumstances change. Please stay here with us.