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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Rae returning    Sobriety/Recovery Journals

Started 6/17/08 by Rae (raeanne50); 34422 views.
Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Oct-19

Rae,

Yes, it's often obvious watching people drink to tell who has a problem.  There is a compulsion in the drinking that is hard to miss.

Have you considered taking antabuse.  I took it for years and it did help.  What is strange is that I never thought of drinking when I was taking it - I never had the idea of having a drink but didn't because of the antabuse.  There was obviously something psychological going on there.  I often thought if they just replaced that anatabuse with a placebo I wouldn't have noticed.  I haven't taken it for a while now, but I still have the bottle in my medicine cabinet and see it everyday.  I know it's there just in case.

Brian

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Oct-19

On a completely different note: I just ate the last of my paw paws.  They really do taste like a cross between a banana and a mango - with a custard texture.  I planted the first tree almost 10 years ago and this is the first crop I've had.  There may have been previous ones that I missed - the fruits grow on the inside of the tree so you don't see them just walking around it - you have to get in and under the branches to see them.  I'll know to look next year.  And the ones I have don't ripen until after a good frost.  I'm going to plant some of the seeds - and then wait 5 to 10 years to see if they are male or female trees - only the females bear fruit.

MaryLouise3

From: MaryLouise3

Oct-20

Rae, is there anyone you can see professionally to help with the depression? Do stay here with us and keep posting, we're listening.

All love

xMary

MaryLouise3

From: MaryLouise3

Oct-20

Brian, that hybrid variety sounds delicious. I saw images you posted and they look far more like mangoes than papayas. And the banana would make them creamy or custardy. In Kenya we used to get dozens of varieties of tropical bananas and the small finger-sized ones were  best, even with black seeds.

xM

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Oct-20

Mary,

The fruits do look like mangos, but they aren't hybrids, they are a tree native to the Eastern US:

Asimina triloba
Asimina triloba, the American papaw, pawpaw, paw paw, or paw-paw, among many regional names, is a small deciduous tree native to the eastern United States and Canada, producing a large, yellowish-green to brown fruit. It belongs to the genus Asimina in the same plant family as the custard-apple, cherimoya, sweetsop, ylang-ylang, and soursop.Wikipedia
They are strange plants.  The trees are either male or female and they do not (usually) self pollinate.  Only the female trees produce fruit, but you can't tell whether a tree is male or female until it has flowers - which doesn't happen for 5 to 8 years after you plant it. This is one of the reasons not many are grown commercially.  Also, unlike my fig tree, all the fruit gets ripe at the same time, which means it's feast or famine.  They are pollinated by bugs and flies, not bees - the flowers produce a stinky smell.  Some people hang carrion by the tree to encourage flies - I'm not going to do that, but I'm going to plant some of the seeds and hope for the best.
Brian

cookly

From: cookly

Oct-29

hello MaryLouise,  I was admitted to hospital Oct 19 due to a suicide attempt, caught by my neighbour fooling around with a  hose on my car exhaust pipe, discharged yesterday. Happy to be home with my animals. I received excellent care. I'm connected with an alcohol counsellor, a grief counsellor and a new psychiatrist with phone appointments booked for next week with each of them. I see now that I can't stay sober on my own without this professional community support team. 

In terms of personal relationships, I'm staying away from critical family members including my daughter and  brother, and finding, to my surprise, its not so painful to  do that. The bonds will heal or they won't; nothing I can do about it. I do have the support of a few friends, and my nieces and nephews. 

all for now, love Rae  

LolaBug

From: LolaBug

Oct-30

Rae, I'm so sorry! Thank goodness for your neighbor. Thank goodness for the help you're receiving from professionals. Please, please stay with us. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."

Having said that, I do get it. At one point I gave myself an "expiration date." My life wasn't going well, so I decided if nothing good happened, if nothing changed by a certain date, then off I'd go.

Something positive happened and here I am. Still struggling with life on life's terms, but working on it and finding tiny things to be grateful for. 

I mean, at times my gratitude list has included, " I have teeth." The bar was set really low that day!

Circumstances change. Please stay here with us.

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)

Oct-30

Rae,

Good to hear that you are ok,  Know that lots of us here are rooting for you.  Keep letting us know how you are doing - and talk to us any time you want.

Brian

cookly

From: cookly

Oct-31

Not antabuse, but there's another drug that doesn't make you sick if you drink, but it somehow renders the alcohol useless.. you won't feel the effects. Can't remember the name but I'm going to look into that. Antabuse was not mentioned during my meetings with professionals, but another patient was about to start it  so the two of us discussed it quite a bit. It's entirely possible it wasn't recommended for me due to the new  psych med I've been started on. Seems my previous one was just no longer working after ten or more years, so I'm easing off that while starting small dosage of mirtazapine . 

sunflower Rae 

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