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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Rex's 2nd Time Around Volume 2   Sobriety/Recovery Journals

Started 8/31/12 by Rex (rcclark99); 26671 views.
mkh106
Staff

From: mkh106

9/1/12

getting lost in your own home...sounds like a good way to describe so much of what you've been through, the surreality you mention and how disorienting this all is.

(i have a friend going through chemo and radiation right now, and she struggles to endure and persevere ("aushalten +durchhalten")

and here you are, cancer-free of a cancer you didn't know you had three months ago. like it never happened except it did.

 

 

Rex (rcclark99)
Staff

From: Rex (rcclark99)

9/1/12

My friend J is also now cancer free after a mastectomy

That's really wonderful to hear Mary. I am so happy for you both.

She says some days it seems like a bad dream and she has her life back and other times she feels as if the cancer is just biding its time and will pop up in another site

I can completely relate to that train of thought. For three months I hardly thought of anything else and then one day I get a phone call and the bad dream is over. But is it really? How many folks have been told that they were fine and would be fine only to have the disease rear it's ugly head again in 2-5 years time.

In my mind I will always be connected to this terrible, ugly, disfiguring disease or it will be connected to me.

She has been sober for 20 years and active in meetings and GSO most of that time. But this experience has felt to her like a seismic shift.

I agree completely. This is a completely different type of experience.

Please convey my best wishes to her.

NCorbett3

From: NCorbett3

9/1/12

I really admire the way you've moved through this very fraught period in your life, staying sober, staying grounded, talking to us. 
love, nancy xx
Rex (rcclark99)
Staff

From: Rex (rcclark99)

9/2/12

Nancy, no need to admire the way I'm handling things. All of our lives are fraught in different ways. You just keep fighting the good fight and I'll keep doing the same and we'll both come out winners. Love to you.
NCorbett3

From: NCorbett3

9/2/12

Damn, I'll admire you if I want to.  So there.
Rex (rcclark99)
Staff

From: Rex (rcclark99)

9/2/12

Ok Nancy!! Feel free to admire away. lol
je072712

From: je072712

9/2/12

Rex, I have been following your journey from a distance. I had to jump in and tell you that your strength, determination and sobriety through it all is something that we should all aspire to. Thank you for sharing what can be a very tough period in your life.

Jen
Rex (rcclark99)
Staff

From: Rex (rcclark99)

9/2/12

Thank you Jen. Yes, the last few weeks I have discovered that life can be ended qucikly and permanently.

I get up every day and take on the challenges of that day, not worrying about next month or next year. There is no use to worry about days we may never see.

Sobriety is definitely the best gift I can give myself to start each day and it is totally in my control. It doesn't matter how much or how little money I have or if I have a job or not or if I feel great or am deathly ill, sobriety is within my grasp everyday.

  • Edited 9/2/2012 8:22 pm by Rex (rcclark99)
NCorbett3

From: NCorbett3

9/3/12

Rex (rcclark99) says:
Sobriety is definitely the best gift I can give myself to start each day and it is totally in my control. It doesn't matter how much or how little money I have or if I have a job or not or if I feel great or am deathly ill, sobriety is within my grasp everyday.

This is going into my personal journal.  Thanks, Rex.
marylouise50

From: marylouise50

9/4/12

Yes, that is the kind of statement, as Nancy quoted, that  makes such sense to me, something to keep as an aide-memoire of what is possible and within our grasp when so much else is not.

I was thinking about you the other day Rex and  something came back to me from Thomas Moore's book on Dark Nights of the Soul, how  we sometimes step out of character in ways that disconcert or distress others and how we hate ourselves for it, but that underneath it may be deeply necessary that we  change, because something deep down  needs to express itself and  find a voice or a way to  come to consciousness.

And I was reading about Paul Gauguin who ran away from his respectable life, abandoned his wife and five children,  sailed for Tahiti and began clumsily and  amidst teh ruins of his former life to paint -- it was on the surface the  most callous and mad thing for  a man in his later life to do, a kind of selfish craziness -- but I think Gauguin knew it was 'now or never' and that the  artist within needed to break free in order to  be able to  create a vision, that he needed to live differently to be more fully himself and get to know the suppressed self within..
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