LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.
Hi there spunkyblue
It is I'm afraid the nature of the beast. But the fact that you are even checking into a sobriety support group is a sign that on some level you want to stop. Therefore you have something to build on. It took me quite a while from knowing I needed to sort it to actually staying stopped, but i made incremental progress which built me up for the final push.
I really recommend Martin Nicolaus's book, 'Empowering Your Sober Self'. I found it really did give me some confidence that getting sober was actually possible. AA didn't suit me- I needed to believe I could do it by my own efforts without the inconvenience of having to drop everything and 'get to a meeting' which is more or less how AA works- and it does work for some people. But I had responsibilities that I couldn't just drop at a moment's notice. When using AA I would panic when I couldn't go to a meeting- then I realised I could stay calm and the craving would pass. But as Brian says meetings can also be very helpful.
The key to beating an addiction is somehow to stop putting the stuff in our bodies, which is apparently very simple but for some of us a complex rearrangement of our mindset - at least it was for me. Some people seem to 'just stop' but for most of us a few relapses are par for the course before we manage it- certainly they were for me, as I managed to finally and truly accept I was absolutely entrenched in a vicious circle that I absolutely had to break. I ate SO MUCH chocolate during the first few months of finally getting sober- but amazingly didn't put on weight. My theory was that my body was so used to getting its calories from wine that it took time for me to adjust to getting them from food instead. I also read everything I could lay my hands on to do with addiction and alcohol dependency - in fact I read addictively ( with chocolate by my side) Anything to keep yourself occupied, and my advice is don't feel you have to immediately catch up on all the sensible yet dull things you've been avoiding whilst drinking. Do nice things, even lazy things, trashy tv, daytime naps whatever it takes to not drink. There's a lifetime to catch up with your admin.
We have all been where you are- think of it as absolute evidence that you have to break the cycle. And the cravings you get are yet more evidence- so hard as they may feel bizarrely I found they actually shored up my resolve. It can feel like a bit of a white knuckle ride at the start, but it will definitely get easier.
Good luck, truly you can do this.