LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.
Welcome to the group. Venting is one of the things we are here for, so feel free. Most of us here had problems with alcohol, but you're story doesn't sound all that different. And many of us have gone through relapses - sometimes that's just the way it is. So good luck and keep coming back to let us know how you are doing, we're here for you.
First, be sure that you make a copy of files, what you want to delete, it is clear, but sometimes it is be deleted in recycle bin, and sometimes just go who knows where and cannot be recovered! Yesterday I was working on vmdk explorer on my PC. Just so you know Diskinternals VMFS Recovery is something that everyone should know about. So make a copy of each file you want to delete and better use option move it in (recycle bin, or where you want, you have this option in most windows boost software as Auslogics boot speed.
I have been there. Hope all is well with you. Sometimes we screw up. Just try to stay focused & strong. Make sure you find the support you need my friend.