LifeRing Recovery

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LifeRing Recovery: a self-help alternative for recovery from alcoholism and other chemical dependency. Group support for abstinence from alcohol and “drugs” by empowering the sober self within you. Completely secular: no prayers, Higher Powers or Steps.

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Not doing AA after 8 years   Migrating from AA or RR

Started Jul-31 by MeliCo; 644 views.
In reply toRe: msg 6

From: MaryLouise3


Hi MeliCo

Welcome to LifeRing! I do think of the LifeRing approach as adulting because there is no emphasis on a specific programme or the intensive mentoring/sponsoring. People just get on with finding out what works for them.



From: MeliCo


Thank you so much for sharing. It’s interesting thinking about the number of times I’ve read the big book with Sponsee’s and had to translate so much of it in my head to what works for me (gender, ideas of god, the science pieces). I was able to get a lot out of it, but it feels good to not have to do that constant translation anymore. I can focus on living a good life and being a good person just like anyone else and on what works for me and leaving the rest behind. 

In reply toRe: msg 8

From: LolaBug


I just remembered I read a book many years ago, the title was something like, "A Woman's Giude to the Twelve Steps." My take on it was, Well this is refreshing, but I'm seeing none of this in the people I'm meeting in AA.

I also went through a long stint of watching and rewatching episodes of "Mom." I felt like a little kid from a broken home, watching "The Brady Bunch" and wishing that could be MY family.

But I'm good with where I am now. I essentially follow the WFS philosophy and contribute to some forums, like here, so I feel supported.

I hope you are doing well, MeliCo. Please let us know how you're getting on.


From: Rellek


Finally, someone sharing my thoughts exactly. How did the requirement of belief in God ever get wrapped so tightly around recovery from alcoholism? I'm not sure what life ring is, but I'll look into it. Just passed 7 months of sobriety and feeling so good about things now. I've failed miserably at the 12 step program to the point of getting dumped by my sponsor for not embracing God as my personal saviour. Anyway, I have a good non religious support network now. All the best.  

Elsie (Elsiek)

From: Elsie (Elsiek)


Hi Rellek

Same, as my kids say! I just wrote in my journal that it's just so ridiculous when people at AA say that you can take GOD to mean Good Orderly Direction. The assorted acronyms, sayings and stereotypical ideas are just so annoying! 

My AA journey came to a crashing end when my sponsor bullied me into getting down on my knees and 'handing it over' to god. I wasn't sure I believed in god, and I wasn't at all sure what 'it' was, but I'm a nice polite person, so I went through the motions then went home and drank a bottle of wine. I never contacted the sponsor again.

I didn't make any real progress until I found LifeRing and it gave me the confidence to keep the advice that was useful, jettison anything that was not, and forge my own path to sobriety. 

On two or three occasions I have revisited the AA meeting I used to go to. It's like Groundhog Day there. The only thing I commend it for is its presence. it's there in virtually every town and having that port of call is an important first step for many people in not feeling completely alone with their problem. I met a few nice people there too. 

I really recommend Martin Nicolaus' 'Empowering Your Sober Self.' It is really useful for feeling empowered (joy) and his critique of AA is really interesting. 

Nice to make your acquaintance. 

Elsie x


From: Rellek


Hey, got cross talked in an on line AA recovery forum last night and so badly needed either a bottle of Jack Daniel's or a face to face meeting with an AA group. Fortunately, I chose the latter which was listed as "12 Steps". Oh no. Turned out the meeting focused on Step 1 only. I was relieved.

I've been told that the second step in AA is so low you can trip over it. Ahhh, so frustrating.  Not so in my case.

I'm approaching 8 months sobriety now including 30 days in a detox/rehab facility and including a mental health review by Los Angeles County for thoughts of self harm. I'm an addict and an alcoholic, which will remain with me forever, but the Black Dog that has plagued me throughout my adult life has eased. I'm really doing very well. Just need something other than AA.

Anyway, my rant is over. Thanks for listening. I plan to remain sober today.

I'm new to Delphi and if this message goes out to ALL and may help someone else in recovery then that would be great too.

Brian (BrianB125)

From: Brian (BrianB125)


Many of us here started in AA and found, for various reasons, that it wasn't what we needed.  I too never made it through many of the steps.  Thinking of that, the Life Ring approach is that you make your own steps, your own program for recovery. 

Eight months is great, and rants are ok, we all need them from time to time.



From: Rellek


Thanks Brian, it's all a part of where I chose to live. It was a better day today and I'm still sober. Good words to consider. Glad someone responded. I told the group which I've been a member with for 16 years that I needed a break from them and I'll check back on my birthday February 2 2021.


From: LolaBug


Glad you had a better day, Rellek.

Elsie (Elsiek)

From: Elsie (Elsiek)


Hi again Rellek

EEK- the Black Dog. Yes, me too on that score as well.  I still have to cope with it from time to time even though I'm six years sober. For me the depression came first I think, I was mostly self-medicating. A drink or two might actually be reasonable to lift/level the mood in the short term, but when it keeps mounting up and turns into a very major daily habit there is a significant danger of addiction, and it happened to me. I have to say I don't like to see myself as an alcoholic or an addict. If I'm not drinking/using then it's important to me to feel free from those labels.  Of course I am aware of the potential to get into active addiction again and I know it's absolutely not worth the risk of 'just having one.' I guess it's just a way of thinking, but I know now that how I think about things makes all the difference to me. It doesn't really matter if we think differently from others, all that matters is that how we think assists our capacity to get and stay sober. 

I think my propensity for addiction was actually clear way before I realised that was what it was. I went off to university at 18, a quiet stay at home studious type intent on reinventing myself as a party animal. I went mad, drank a lot, did no work at all, had a crashing breakdown and left after two terms. I stopped drinking to excess when I got home, got a place at my local university and reverted to being very very studious, never ever drinking to excess ( half a pint of cider was my limit.) When I broke up from my long term boyfriend (after one year of marriage) when I was 25 I went off the rails again, drinking, smoking dope, and failed to complete my masters degree. So my tendency to operate in the extremes was well established by my 20s. I managed to walk the tightrope for several years after that, with many periods of depression but keeping myself functioning whilst drinking as much as I could get away with. My second marriage and having kids has been largely a very good time, but I grew increasingly dependent on the vino and then had a  midlife crisis which escalated my boozing and made me lose what little balance I had. For someone who struggles in the middle ground, the straight and narrow is definitely easier that the crazy and wild...

Anyway, this is your thread and here I am burbling on about myself!

Eight months is great. A really proper significant period. For me things got much easier once i managed to chalk up that amount of time. 

Keep on keeping on and hope to catch you here soon. 

Elsie. x

PS, I'm still on anti-depressants. forgive yourself instantly if you need them. They are a much better option than Jack Daniels!