Just So You Know -  States Ranked by How Miserable Its Winte (272 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
From: Dream (Tx__Dream) DelphiPlus Member IconDec-12 5:15 PM 
To: All  (1 of 51) 

Thrillist Winter Misery Index

In most of America, winter sucks. It is cold out. You don’t feel like doing anything, so you get fat. Pipes freeze. Lips, noses, and cheeks get chapped and raw. Black ice kills. Snow hats look cool until you have to take them off indoors and then your hair looks shitty. It’s horrible.


As two people who grew up in the Midwest and New England, Matt and I have both experienced the personal hell that is winter’s awkwardly long, frigid embrace, but we had yet to figure out which, amongst all of the 50 states, could hold up the title as the state with the worst winter. And so began an intense period of research and debate, factoring in everything from weather patterns, average temperatures, and how effective and quickly their department of transportation clears highways, to interviews with locals and the historical success rates of their winter-season sports teams. This is one of those things where you probably actually want to finish last.


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (2 of 51) 
 69742.2 in reply to 69742.1 

50. Hawaii

Aloha means hello, goodbye, and “who cares about pro sports teams when the average temperature during the winter is 81 and we’re all over here eating malasadas and making fun of you stupid cold haoles.” It IS kinda windy though?  


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (3 of 51) 
 69742.3 in reply to 69742.1 

49. Arizona

Occasionally, retired Kroger business executives from Ohio and their Pilates-instructor second wives will accidentally move to Flagstaff and get very sad and angry when they realize the average winter temperature is somewhere in the 20s. But most of Arizona offers up that dry desert day heat (it was 88 in Phoenix last week) that is good for arthritis and any lingering guilt about leaving their first wives to deal with their delinquent teenage kids back in Indian Hill.    


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (4 of 51) 
 69742.4 in reply to 69742.1 

48. California

There is no generalizing about the climate of a state the size of Italy, except to say that SF’s weather rarely changes except during the weird time during the summer when it becomes winter and everyone misquotes Mark Twain; everyone in LA and San Diego just wear bikinis and surf to work year-round (except during Sharknado season) and they don’t have meteorologists in Fresno, so no one knows what happens there during any season, much less ONE of them, but it seems like it can't be that bad.


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (5 of 51) 
 69742.5 in reply to 69742.1 

Colorado Snow

47. Colorado

Yes, this seems like an odd placement for a state that clearly experiences some serious snowfall, but the thing is, snowfall is a cause for celebration here. Have you ever been to Colorado in wintertime? The sun is shining, the winter sports are world class, and if people aren’t (legally) high as balls, then they’re getting into some fantastic beer. They even threw in a 2016 Super Bowl for good measure -- that’s “they,” not Peyton Manning, who, rumored HGH notwithstanding, wasn’t able to throw much of anything. Ditto his successors. But the Broncos quarterback situation aside, Colorado has basically solved winter. 


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (6 of 51) 
 69742.6 in reply to 69742.1 

46. Florida

Seeing how it’s mostly a humid subtropical state filled with the type of people who unironically adorn their cars with statement bumper stickers and don’t blink for long periods of time, Florida’s winters tend to be mild, as if actively trying not to make any sudden moves lest their population get nervous and start throwing alligators. 


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (7 of 51) 
 69742.7 in reply to 69742.1 

45. New Mexico

Did you know that New Mexico is basically Colorado? And I don’t mean that as in they both tend to attract spiritually earnest people who value physical fitness and have weirdly nice calves and prefer to be outdoors wearing shawls with Native American symbols on them (though that is also true). I mean, in the sense of topography, New Mexico and Colorado both have high plains, mountain ranges, deserts, basins, and affiliations to green chile.


And though New Mexico gets warmer during the day, you can still see why people from these two states tend to live charmed winter lives/dislike each other, even as you struggle to tell them apart. 


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (8 of 51) 
 69742.8 in reply to 69742.1 

44. Louisiana

You think they’d have Mardi Gras in February if that wasn’t an ideal time for a party?!?!! Wait -- what do you mean “it’s set by the church calendar to always fall the day before Ash Wednesday?” Well, you think they would’ve petitioned the pope for a change by now if that humid subtropical climate didn’t laissez les bon temps rouler?!? Yeah, I have no idea either, I guess. 


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (9 of 51) 
 69742.9 in reply to 69742.1 

43. Texas

According to a quick eyeballing of the globe I keep in my office, Texas is roughly the size of South America or something, and you can’t speak on the weather in Ecuador like it’s the same as Chile, right? West Texas is mostly arid desert where you can get the occasional blizzard that shuts down Amarillo, forcing their lauded indoor football team the Venom, to postpone games. East Texas is subtropical and humid even in the winter, and they get that cool advection fog in Galveston where you can’t see #### for days, and all of the ships carrying giant Texas belt buckles to Mexico are forced to stay put.


Also, when I briefly lived in Dallas during my youth, it once snowed 4in and I didn’t have school for THREE DAYS and people were talking about killing their horses and sleeping inside of them Tauntaun style. With all that said, outside of the Northern Plains, the average temps in Texas in the winter usually stay in the mid-60s during the day, and that’s pretty damn nice. 


From: Dream (_Dream_Lover)Dec-27 12:00 AM 
To: All  (10 of 51) 
 69742.10 in reply to 69742.1 

42. Georgia

Psychologically it seems like Georgia should be safely out of the winter pain zone, and often that holds true, but freezing rain’s nothing to mess with, tornadoes somehow continue to be a thing even in February, and when snow does hit, no city does “wow, we were woefully underprepared for this” quite like Atlanta. 


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