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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 76901 views.
In reply toRe: msg 478
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-18


The Young Monk

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the 'R' ! We missed the 'R' !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
Witha choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE !!!
mmpendo

From: mmpendo

Aug-19

Too funny. It did take me a moment.

I'd rather Celebrate than be the mistranslated word.

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-21

                             Great discovery, it is nice to be part of that group. Have a nice day. 

I JUST discovered my age group!

I am a Seenager (Senior teenager).

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 55-60 years later

I don't have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad.

I don't have a curfew.

I have a driver's license and my own car.

I have ID that gets me into bars and the wine store  I like the wine store best.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren't scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long, why be scared?

And I don't have acne.

Life is Good!

Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a Seenager.

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much.

People do not decline mentally with age; it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains.

Scientists believe this also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for.  It is NOT a memory problem; it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.

SO THERE!!

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

In reply toRe: msg 483
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-22

 THE FLAG POLE….

Bob and Ray, two government maintenance men, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and curiously asked what they were doing.
"We’re supposed to find the height of this flagpole said Bob, but we don’t have a ladder.”
The woman said:  “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”
She then loosened a few bolts at the flag’s base and laid the pole down then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced::
“Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away. 
Ray shook his head and laughed: “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘’-Know-It-All”, he said, “We need the height and she gives us the length!”
Bob and Ray are still working for the government, but now they are Congressmen.
Nona (Waldmeister)

From: Nona (Waldmeister)

Aug-22

Di, I really like your jokes (first time round) but the last two were repeats...

Nona (Waldmeister)

From: Nona (Waldmeister)

Aug-23

I am quite lenient. Should you post another good one (new to this site) I am prepared to absolve you.

oiuoiu321

From: oiuoiu321

Aug-23

Di (amina046) said:

Bob and Ray are still working for the government,

I live in Ontario, Canada, where we had a now-infamous Premier named Bob Ray.

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