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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 149953 views.
Msg 775 of 798 to MoonkiMoonki 
In reply toRe: msg 774
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-27

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.  
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?”
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him”.
 
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Msg 776 of 798 to Di (amina046)amina046 
In reply toRe: msg 775
attie1234

From: attie1234

Aug-27

grinning Hilarious! smile Thank you for making our day brighter! bird

  • Edited August 27, 2020 7:09 pm  by  attie1234
 
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Msg 777 of 798 to attie1234attie1234 
In reply toRe: msg 776
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-27

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God.”  
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without looking up from her drawing, the girl: replied, "They will in a minute.”
 
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Msg 778 of 798 to LvlSlgrLvlSlgr 
In reply toRe: msg 777
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-27

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy  Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill.”
 
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Msg 779 of 798
In reply toRe: msg 778
Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Aug-29

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the  dishes at the kitchen sink.  She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.    She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?”
 
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Msg 780 of 798 to Di (amina046)amina046 
In reply toRe: msg 779
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

A realist sees a freight train.

The train conductor sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

 
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Msg 781 of 798
In reply toRe: msg 780
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

Pollen: When flowers can't keep it in their plants.

 
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Msg 782 of 798
In reply toRe: msg 781
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

Oh, and in reply to the poem illustrating the ridiculousness of the English language:

English isn't a language. It's three languages stacked on top of each other wearing a trenchcoat.

 
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Msg 783 of 798
In reply toRe: msg 782
KathyVesnik

From: KathyVesnik

Sep-2

One more because I feel like I'm not the only one in this forum who can relate to this:

Attachments
 
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Msg 784 of 798 to katiek2katiek2 
In reply toRe: msg 755
KNIMtheTOAD

From: KNIMtheTOAD

Sep-4

Remember "TAXI" ? Christopher LLoyd's

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T WHAT'S WRONG. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON." 

It's the right comment in so many area's. I also had a saying used a lot. I can only remember the punch line. 

...............WHEN YOU FEEL DOWN AND OUT LIFT UP YOUR HEAD AND SHOUT "OH SHIT!"    Friends will help the crowed will get out of the way.

Laugh everyone it is good for you. TOAD/Otter/MOUSE

 
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