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Post your jokes here   Fun and Games

Started 4/20/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 167011 views.
marbur220

From: marbur220

Sep-28

Di!

These are great!  I remember all of them (some not so fondly.). Not only was the dimmer switch on the floor boards but you had the clutch, brake and gas pedal to deal with and only two feet...remember stopping on a hill in a 40 something pickup with the high beams on and a neighbor was coming the other way?

Stay well!

Namaste...

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Oct-3

The America I Grew Up In. Jeff Allen

The America I Grew Up In looks a lot different than the America we have today. If America looks different to you too, check out "I Can Laugh About It Now" by...

CC to marbur220
In reply toRe: msg 793
Moonki

From: Moonki

Oct-4

I remember all the listed past stories. My brother, who was married, came home to pick something up and heard someone talking. He discovered the mailman, when he put the mail in the back door called to the cats, who came for some petting.It was more usual to leave doors unlocked than to lock them. In my small town, it was a more innocent time,

A man came home from work, and had to stop to remove the bikes from the driveway before he could park. The lawn was littered with toys. Inside the house, the kids, in their pyjamas, were snaking as they watched the TV. The kitchen was a disaster - dirty dishes and food everywhere. He went upstairs where his wife was in bed. He asked, horrified, what happened. She answered, you know how you ask every night what I do all day Today I didn’t.

Moonki

OMG, they are too funny.  I also didn't have a telephone in my room, it was in the living room and had a dial on it.  Had a TV, also in the living room, that was black & white; bought the first color TV in the house when I started working, and it was all of about 13 inches.  But I still remember watching all my shows for the first time in color.  It was glorious.

Walked to elementary school, took two mass transit buses to get to high school.  Didn't have central air conditioning, not even sure I knew what that was.  Already mentioned in another post, needed a garter belt to hold up stockings...no pantyhose.  But I remember fondly when those Leggs plastic egg containers first came out.  My dad used onion peelings to die Easter eggs.

And I learned how to type on a manual typewriter with cloth ribbon that was divided in half; top half black, bottom half red.  And don't forget the carbon paper and onionskin for copies.

Geez, all that made me feel very, very old.

katiek2

From: katiek2

Oct-22

Oh WOW! Me too, although never had a color TV under after I got married.

We had an old Austin A40 ute with the dimmer switch on the floor.  Dad, Mum, Brother and me (my brother 3yrs old, on Mum's knee all the way, me in the middle with the manual gear shift, drove from Sydney to Melbourne in that old thing.  Took 3 days, brother and I slept in a tent, Mum & Dad in the back of the ute. No seat belts or child safety seats in those days. Ignition switch on the dashboard.   I remember hand signals for turning,  Right hand out the window pointing left for a left turn, elbow bent with hand up for stop signal, and extended right arm for right hand turn. Had a party line telephone, the water shaker for the iron, no steam irons then.   Didn't have a bicycle, still can't ride one.  Dad said Bondi was way to hilly for a bike.  I remember walking with my mother, brother in the pram up the hill to Bondi Junction for shopping.  Couldn't fit a pram on the bus.  Brother too young for a stroller (pushchair),  Strollers were a heck of a lot bulkier and heavier then.  

No electric blankets, just rubber hot water bottles, no doonas, just blankets.  Definitely no air conditioning, anywhere, not even in shops.  Just windows open.  First shop to get air con in our area was Grace Brothers Department Store in 1960.  That was the year we had a heatwave of over 100 degrees for a week.  People were sleeping on the beach, in back yards, anywhere they could find a breeze.  Fans were not that common then.

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Oct-22

Sad news……….
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes to the belly.   He was 71.
Dough Boy is survived by his wife Play Dough, four children, John Dough, Jane Dough, Dosey Dough, and Dill Dough plus they had one in the Oven.
Services were held at 350 for about 20 minutes. .
CC to marbur220

Di, that's funny and troubling at the same time.  Still, I laughed.

Back to being old, I remember my mom used to sprinkle dad's shirts with water, roll them up and stack them in the fridge.  Easier to iron crisper that way.  No steam irons.  And my aunt still used a washing machine with a roller press on it for wringing out the clothes.  That was one dangerous appliance!

And I remember the days of shopping centers where we'd go to Hecht's or Hochschild Kohns or Hutzlers or Learner Shops or Buster Browne and would constantly complain when it was raining or snowing outside because we'd get wet going from store to store.  Then someone invented THE MALL!  How glorious was that to shop in total comfort, no worries about heat or rain or snow.  I still remember when they were building one quite near our home and how excited we all were on opening day.

Now, town centers are all the rage.  Shopping centers, only designed as fancy town centers where we get hot and wet on inclement days.  I guess that old saying is true, what's old is new again.  LOL

Di (amina046)

From: Di (amina046)

Oct-24

Southerners
There ain't no magazine named "Northern Living" for good reason. 
There ain't nobody interested in livin' up north, nobody would buy the magazine !
Southerners know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity
Southerners know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick
Southerners know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin’
Shugah
Southerners know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind
Southerners know their religions:
Bapdiss
Methdiss
Football
Southerners know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl’stn
S’vanah
Foat Wuth
N’awlins
Addlanna
Southerners know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler
Southern girl
...[Message truncated]
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