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The Special Room - Origins PART 1   Oh the Absurdity!

Started 4/29/18 by Jenifer (Zarknorph); 18561 views.
Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

4/29/18

This is going to take a while
 

Page 1

tennco 
Angelfish 
 
Okay, it is time for me to get my tight white jacket. I put swap by my avatar, checked my gifts and not ONE fir cone. So I'm thinking that's is really strange. My luck is down for getting wands and gift boxes so now..... no one wants to swap cones with me. 

Ooopss!!! forgot to put cones on my list. So I am ready for the special room! 
Annelliegram 
Shark 
 
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

4/29/18

Page 2

Randy

Rolling on da floor laughing till tears steam down my face I can't see straight OH wait what's dat over der in da corner no on da floor oh purty pink bumps oh dey look yummy HEY Fuzzy hands off der mine = what ever dey are ,pops one in me mouth oh YUMMMMMMMMMMMMY and lookie at dem purtiy birdies shhhhhhhhhhhhhh Fuzz ball someone is close  stop dat or she will hear us ... ROT ROUH its playingthegame and she be PI***** at me dust bunnies wait is dis my bed hehehehe and why am I under it and not on it ?????? me thunks I need a nudder pink thingie,,, glares at Fuzz Ball  you ate them all??? wohahahahahaha lookie at da nurse all hog tied over der shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 
WTH is that swooping around me head? a broom?? oh Fuzz Ball wanta go fer a ride ?? grabs broom hops on and yells yiddddddddie up or giddddddddddddie up what ever  
YEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA hold tight Fuzz Ball ............

Fuzzy

HAHAHAHAHA.... RANDY.... you silly bunny  ..... If you remember the summer of 2015, we had a very good reason to hide under the bed.... all our tomfoolery and shenanigans - the pillow found in the battle pit and used in pillow fights being one of my favorite forum pastimes ... such care free days... sniff, sniff... 

da fuzz in da britches under da bed 

Randy

Oh YEAH da pillow fight now yer talking fuzzy **** 
PILLOW FIGHT WHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 

PTG

I have just seen a large blue feather floating past me as I rested in the Broken Carriage. Is it one of yours?  
It made me sneeze!  
Ah! Another green one as I sweep the Crypt. 
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TinyFaerie

From: TinyFaerie

5/6/18

Page 3

Jakeybubby

Hows bout we use "My Pillow" less clean up, better night sleep and of course the pink thingies always help.

PTG

I have been down to the dungeons and found the stocks.  
Shackles do not seem to work and the white padded jacket is laughable in this case.  
I am bringing them up to the ward and however long it takes, I WILL pinion that maniac.   
I am plastered in Watermelon, which should never have been allowed into the rooms anyway, but can still muster enough strength to zap the patient. 
But wait a minute! I am a patient too......... Nurse! 

Debora

PTG needs two white jackets and a new broom...Y'all need to stop with the pillow fights before that dragon sneezes and all those feathers end up stuck to the ceiling with dragon snot...

Randy

OH craponacracker Fuzzy Toes now ya done gone and did it ,,, sheeeeeeesh now dey know I is free,,,, runs from Castel to Town ,, puff puff nope no hiding here yikesssssss whew just slide by PTG hehehehhehe opsie whew that was to close >>>> nurse wiff a syringie thinie ready fer me ,,,,,,,, ** tummmbble bang, boom , arffff ,,,,Underground Grotto??? oh good maybe Mamma crock will help me ,,,,,, yikes no no I is no bone ya crazy gator,,,,,,, oh no she found me agin tears over to Cloud City,,,,,,, puff puff puff whew I is gettin to ole fer dis ******** 
gots to hide I do not like da way that bird be a eyeing me ,,, tears over to da Dark Tower,,, oh oh oh der is da Dark Knight maybe he can help me,,,, hummmmmmm his eyes be glassssssie ahuh he found me lill pink goodies ,,,,,,, gots to rest zzzzzzzzzzz

Jenifer

Well fine! 

I've rummaged through the tavern and have fashioned a lovely outfit out of fans, some missed feathers, fungus baby earrings, mushrooms, shells, two lovely red monster arms, an eye patch and a very delicately placed crab. 

As I don't know how to do the thingie over the o in schon, I will switch to Barry Manilow's Copacabana. 
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Page 4

PTG

I hear the crowd outside my room cheering and look out of the window to see a small lithe female astride a very large and ugly crocodile. She is wearing the victor’s laurel wreath and being tossed flowers and garlands by the adoring MC players as she generously distributes her bounty from the dice table. 

She is crooning that devilish ditty: The sun's as warm as a baked potato 

GRRRRRRR! 

This will not do! She now thinks she rules the Castle by using words like “sun” and “potato” from my favorite HOSes. 

I will not be subdued by illegal tactics. There is no mention of a horseshoe Frisbee being used as a weapon in my Don Quixote manual. 

I don my very bent chain mail and limp out of my room and downstairs. On the way I tie two brooms together to form a very long pole and get a large steak from the Guard’s Room. 

Thus armed I stride into the jousting lists invoking the ancient Castle gods to my aid. I shout Crazy Horse’s own yawp “:Hokahe Today is a good day to die!” 

The crowd hushes and she turns her leviathan to face me. I see the beast’s nose twitch as it smells the meat 

Let battle commence! 

Randy

I sing at the top of the bottom of my heart     WHEN IRISH EYES ARE SHINeing 
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/7/18

Page 4 Continued...

PTG

I look behind me and see a now very disheveled Randy prone by my feet with a mouth full of Dragon ???. 

I do wish he would stop following me around trying to mess things up when I notice that we are still attached a by a lovely piece of croc. skin. But there is no time to admire this. I must get on and brew something special. 

Now where was I?  

Ah! Yes. Stir…. Stir - with me incanting: 

[i]“For a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble." 
 

Oh dear! Something is not right as It smells and looks like bat droppings (being very polite, but there are other phrases coming to mind!).  
This will not tempt our siren into silence except perhaps permanent silence  

Back to the spell book and see in the corner of the page a small note “+ blood” 

Whose blood?? 

I look down at Randy and smile………..  
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/7/18

Page 5

Jenifer

I awake to a strange squawk, wet and dishevelled. 

My ammunition has scattered. A drunken lunatic has fallen on top of my last scorpion. His flatulence is frankly alarming - probably due to the missing leather on the seat of his chaps, but I roll him for pink pills. I find feathers, dust bunnies, empty potion vials, a half chewed spell book and several pieces of Poppet. I cry - no pills. 

Then I realise we're not in the belfry. 

My position has been compromised. It has turned into the interior of a paddy wagon! I knew things changed around the Castle, but this is certainly extreme. Two official looking guards are in the front seat. I don't recall being sent on quests by these two people! They must be impostors! 

There must be something left in my ammunition bag. Ahhh, of course, the most devastating weapon is snoozing at the bottom. 

I pull out my last slingshot, hidden securely in my official siege knickers. I load my ammunition and let fly! 

The squirrel lands smack in the back of the driver's head. The wagon careens off the bridge and onto the ice. Skaters scream and flee. But my weapon is not done yet. He jumps from one guard's face to another, all over the dashboard then down to the floor and up the left trouser leg of the driver. 

In the commotion I wrench open the back doors. Freedom! 

There is honour in war, so I grab Randy by the leg and fling him out onto the ice. He skittles several skaters. I probably should have turned him over - those bottomless chaps will cause some serious freezer burn! 

As the wagon twirls towards the Castle vicinity I tuck and roll, landing at the foot of some screaming children. 

They calm down and offer to sell me stuff. 

PTG

I stare morosely out of what used to be my window onto the Castle moat where the young skaters are playing and frolicking. 
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/7/18

Page 5 Continued...

Randy

I throw the paper down and stomp on it and my mind explodes BOOOOOOOOOOOM making dat bomb wiff da dead pirate look like a firecracker,,,... I am flaming hot now making what lill ice thingies hanging on what was left of me britches drop like fly's so hot I no longer feel da pain in me rump roast at the otter end of moi. 
Craponacracker iffin I kin only stop me toofies from clancking together I could speak as I watch PTG pick up and read d a paper and watch her face go a rainbow of colours, I shake my head yes yes yes the boheiminie had dar nerve to write and air mail to me,, I hear da wicked one say a dress A DRESS you you you *** carefull der Cap she is still a lady **** ya right me head shouts she be deminted I tell ya off her cotton pickin rocker,,I will make her a dress oh ya betcha I will ,, signals to PTG look here as I grab my broken Sai and draw a dress in da snow *AN IRON MADIEN *** wiff chains flowing like water making it look like an ocupussy   I do not have to walk cause me shaking so bad me body moves by it;s self, PYG try;s her best to cover me poor raw inflamed swollen backside, to cold to be    mubble mubble mubble head bobs to da Tavern trying to get PTG to understand sign lingo is no easy task but I thunk she be catching on 
You trying to tell me you piece of raw meat that you want me to take you to Salty's??? head bobs like mad YES YES YES der be me honey rum der and Salty will heat it nice and warm for us den I kin thaw out the we can plan our attack on that nut case up der eyes fly up to da Belfry,,,eyes plead PLEASE understand me woman and get me to Salty's like yesterday....................PTG grabs a pair of skates from one of the kids and trys to put dem on me,,, you gone and lost it woman you really want me to put dem on???a wicked grin comes over PTGs face rot rouh I in BIG twouble,,,,,,

PTG

Since all that half-baked assistant Cap’n Bob can do at the moment is to mumble and point towards the Castle, I offer him a cough sweet.  

No! That does not go down at all well.  

That large lump of human **** Neanderthalis (certainly not 
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
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From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

Page 6

PTG

I failed to realize that the “intimate” relationship between Randy and his pet Frosty included telepathy.  

The second that ****, *****, ****** and ******* letter word excuse for an animal understood what I meant to do with my axe, rather than cringe or try to escape, he let out a blast of hot fetid air enough to singe my eyebrows off. And I was at ten paces away from him!  
Although Randy never possesses exactly 100% reasoning capabilities, he quickly understood that someone’s blood was about to be spilled and he would be losing either a pet or an associate if he left the safety of the underside of the dice table; or perhaps his own if he stood up.  
We were supposed to be besting a member of that alien species now installed in our holy Chapel, and here we were bickering like two old washerwomen with a slobbering pet with amour in his eyes.  
Above us the Chapel service had evidently started.  

An out-of-tune warbling commenced  

This drove the other customers in the Tavern (and far beyond) to wrestle with their avatars until they had seized the nice soft red ear muffs and put them on.  

I reluctantly returned the axe to the Gate Guard who, at that mo
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Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

5/10/18

PAGE 6 CONTINUED

RANDY

I look at Frost with WTF are those two on?? 
Dem der smidjits thunk you shoot flames ? when you shoot frezzin streams of Ice and call you Frosty?????   
Rot Rouh me hind neithers are out and aboot agin , *&^%$%^&*()_ who took me cover $%^&*()$%^&*() dis thin never goin heal right  grabs alcohuelouie and bends over ,, grits toofies and pours HOLY MOTHER OF @#$%^&*()_ DAT BURNSSSSSSSSSSSSS 
Me backside takes on a life of its own and me thuncks me heart beat drops to da otter end of me body BOOM BOOM BOOM THROB THROB :IT'S ALIVE,,,,,, 
All da sudden every thin goes dead silent as I look up to see dem two nut cases in a death stare down,,, rot rouh dis goin be good as I swipe Monkey Do Do ovein me shoulder 
 whohoooooooo I kin make me a pile of coins here ,, attention ya all I is a betin PTG will win dis one and to proff it I slap 1,000,000 coins on da Dice Table any takers??? 
I chant GO PTG GO PTG GO PTG wipe da floor wiff her hide and send her back wiff her pack of chewed up dead useless critters ,,, Send her where ?? hey not fer me to decide I is an idjit remember  and accordin to yerself useless as T**S on a Bull

PTG

Our current round of peace negotiations lasts about ten seconds this time and is broken by the foolish advance of my lone enemy albeit an armed one.  

But she is new to the area and not aware of the arsenal that Salty keeps under the bar counter. All tout passé but still useful. The first blow of her mace hits my recently acquired Proper Shield, denting it. 
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