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Where to Dine or Die at the Castle    Oh the Absurdity!

Started 4/30/18 by Desertdruid (stillDruid); 29703 views.

By Sadie

After spending a year at the Castle, I finally decided to accept some lunch and dinner invitations from some of the other residents. I thought I should give you the benefit of my experiences, some recommendations, and some places to stay away from, as well as some of my experiences with my dining companions. 

My first meal was with Pete the Pirates Skeleton. He was a perfect gentleman, however his choice of eateries was The Tent. The food was a little light, a little heavy on the rum and when Pete Skeleton ate, he had as much food on the outside of him as he did inside. Not the most appetizing of meal companions, but as I said, he was a perfect gentleman. 

The reconstituted Pete was a different story however. He only wanted to eat at The Bar Counter and tended to drink more rum than he ate. And the more he drank, the more he wanted. He was always wanting a lot more in return for than what little he gave you.

In reply toRe: msg 1

My next meal was with The Knight. (Pretty pretentious of him to just call himself "The Knight".) He was very depressed due to his disaster of a marriage to Arabella, and only wanted to talk about Anabelle. We went to this cafe for lunch called The Spinning Wheel in the Castle Entry district. It seemed more like a casino than a food establishment. The Knight was "tied" up with some work in the Forbidden Tower. I think he was renovating it, but he never did say what he did for a living. 

Lunch with Annabelle was both entertaining and could suck the life right out of you. Something about her drinking her dark red "wine" that bothered me. But she was a very nice person. 

I never did join Oberron for dinner. I had heard him berating the staff at one of the restaurants, and he definately wasn't very nice. The same goes for Lord Chamberlain. He was wanting me to call him Sir Lord sir. Too much for little ole me.

Reincarnated Jeronimo Took was such a funny guy, but I have a grandson his age so I was a little uncomfortable. Besides, eating at the roadside stand "The Handmade Cart" was a bit cheesy. 

The Lost Fairy has a place that she just took over. I can't say much about the food, all I saw on the menu was sausage and poppy with bone, but at least you can take your dog in with you. It was called "The Warden's Office" and it looked a little dumpy on the outside, but was cozy with the fireplace on the inside. If you are looking for it, it is on Cemetery road on the outskirts of town.

In reply toRe: msg 2

The smithy (never did get his real name) took me to the Gnome Kitchen. It was good home cooked food, but he kept falling asleep during the meal. I never went to another meal with him again. Who wants to sit and eat alone while he sleeps? 

Salty Took wanted to take me to a romantic place called The Interrogation Room. You eat by candlelight, and have your own waiter. The steak is very good, but don't order the sandwich, it does not look very appetizing. The waiter kind of gave me the creeps the way he just hovered over you like a buzzard waiting for his meal. I just drove me bats! But one of the little kids just tugged at my heart strings. He was young and fuzzy (not to be confused with Fuzzy Cindy) and very nervous. He just shook and shivered all the time. I wanted to take him home with me and calm him down. I couldn't though because his mother was right behind him. But Salty, well you know how an old salt is. He was a bit gruff, but I could see right through him. 

That's it so far. When this reporter visits another eatery, I will let you all know how it is, and how the company I keep is. 

Reporter Sadie signing out.

In reply toRe: msg 3

Sorry (erp) It seems I have gotten food poisoning ( erp) somewhere. Dr Ken or Dr Steve or Dr Feelgood (I can't remember who he was as he was not my regular doctor) thinks I either got it from the buzzard waiter (he looked at me like he was (erp) hungry), or I got it (erp) from the HandCrafted Cart. OOPs gotta run!!! 

Ok back for now. Oh, I don't feel so good. Where is Dr Feelgood when you need him!  

Yep, been (erp) in the Castle for a year. But for some of it, they had me in one of those nice soft rooms (erp) with one of those hug-me jackets. I think I was there for about 4 moths or (erp) months. I had moths for roommates, I think they were originally from the Elven woods maybe? Some sort of rock/tree? Ughhhhhhhh. gotta go lie down. NOOOOOOO. To the restroom. (erp) to rest? NOOOO. I don't want the Hug-Me jacket right now. Just (erp) MEDS. (And white paper)

In reply toRe: msg 4

If anybody sees any of those bottles with the pink stuff, let me know! I tried the potion shop in Cloud City, but no go. OH GOTTA GO!

In reply toRe: msg 4

I feel muuuuuch better today! I found the bottle of the pink stuff, and you'll never guess where! In the Hand Wrought Cart! Yes, that is where I picked up the food poisoning I think. This may be wrong but I think that if they sell bottles of the pink stuff, along with their food, you may want to skip that food cart. Just my opinion mind you, but...... 

Anyway, after that particularly nasty little problem, I decided that I need some R&R. So I booked myself a spot at the Underground Grotto Stone Bowl Spa. Those nice warm waters relaxed me so that I could continue my little jaunt. Actually, I was trying to escape those nice young men in their clean white coats. 

Then, I decided to take a room at the Tree Top Inn and Restaurant in the Elvish district. The rooms were on the second floor with the restaurant on the floor above with a beautiful view. They had lobster and escargot directly from their own Shallow Waters farm. The waiter brought me some Elvish wine (hic) to go with it. Boy, is that some strong (hic) stuff. The food was delicious and the (hic) wine was a perfect compliment to the meal. Unfortunately, (hic) I think I drank just a little too much Elvish wine. When I asked the waiter about the wine (hic) he didn't have much to say. All he would say was that he "couldn't talk now, it hurt too much to talk" something about poison arrows. To my way of thinking one poison arrow is a mistake but two is just careless. Anyway, I went to bed and with the (hic) wine, I went right to sleep. But I will warn you, too much Elvis (hic) I mean Elvish wine will give you nightmares. I dreamt that the Butterflies took a rope from the cluttered shelves and tied me up. Then they stuck peaches in my mouth so I couldn't scream, stuck a balloon flower close to my nose so the pollen would make me sneeze, and tickled my feet with a feather! What a nightmare! I kind of woke up with an Elvish hangover. Ugh.

In reply toRe: msg 6

On another note, I have some corrections to make. The Knight called me and told me that he was not working on the Forbidden Tower. He and Annabelle had already finished that. He was currently tied up at the Dark Tower. Ok, to me a tower is a tower especially if it has or had a dragon in it. So they are in different districts. Sue me Knight! (He probably will) 

And the moths said that I had been in my nice soft room with the hug-me jacket for more than a year. They asked me how I thought I got out of that lovely hug-me jacket. They were hungry too. I'm not sure what that meant, but okay, whatever. I guess time really flies when you're in a soft room. 

Speaking of which, my doctor, (can't remember his name) wants me to stay in my soft room for a while. He said that he can not yet certify me as sane. Why not? He was able to certify me as IN-sane. Well, gotta go, the white coats just came around the corner. If you look for me in the castle and can't find me, look in the soft room. I'll be the one in the hug-me jacket. 

Slightly Sane or IN-sane Sadie out

In reply toRe: msg 7

PS If anyone can help me out, please don't hesitate. (Unless the white coats are after you too!) then maybe we could be roomies! 

PSS or PPS (whatevah) Crystal, P. I would love to help with the call to arms but I haven't gotten all of it read yet. I'm only on page 40. Besides, I can call my arms, but with the hug-me jacket (I love that thing) I can't move my arms. Tsk Tsk. 

Definately IN-sane Sadie out again.

In reply toRe: msg 8

Okay, so I decided to spend another night at the Tree Top Inn in the Elvish district. I did not have any more nightmares last night, but there was a peach pit in my mouth and a feather at the bottom of the bed. I have no idea how they got there. 

I stayed because I heard from my roomies, the moths that the white coats were looking for me. Something about hearing Dr. I. Do Nutsos saying that I need to stay another 2 years in my soft room. So I am currently hiding out until I can find a way out of this. 

Last evening I received a bottle of wine labeled "Nocturnal Blood". I found a card that may or may not have said it was from jrb...(the last part was missing. I have heard of this name and a few others, but have never met these people. It is my understanding that there are a lot of people in the Castle but I have never seen them. Perhaps I am invisible. Or maybe they are, or maybe I am blind, no can't be, I can see myself in the mirror that I picked up from the Skulls.

In reply toRe: msg 9

So today, I took a tour around the Elves lobster farm. They have some different ways of farming lobsters. One of the ways was to take the tails off and plant the heads in the ground. But since that takes quite a while to grow a full lobster, they have also been experimenting with putting a pair (male and female) into the Floating Barrel and trying for baby lobsters. That too is taking a long time to get a full grown lobster.  

The Elves are so very proud of their Elvish wine, that they insist on taste testing in every place I have visited. But I also found out why the Elf Hunter was hit by poison arrows twice. He was trying to infiltrate a group of bad Elf's (Elves?) who were stealing the Elvish wine, taking the label off of the straw bottles from the Forest Palace that it comes in, pouring the Elvish wine into clear blue bottles found in the Stone Bowl and other places, and putting a new label on it. That is the Elvis wine. So Elvis is really Elvish. (and you thought he had passed on to the great beyond, Elvis isn't dead he just became Elvish). 

So I decided to head home. But I wasn't going to take the same Unicorn taxi that I took over here. You know how Unicorns are, full of fun and tricks. The Unicorn taxi had me upside down and sideways on the way to the Elvish district. After the Elvis (Elvish) wine, I wasn't going to take that ride again and decided to take the Pegasus shuttle instead. It was a much smoother ride.