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Good grief! I don't get what all the fuss is over my outfit for the "fortune teller"! Why is everybody always pickin' on me! Oh, very well then. How about this one?
I see from the Tea Room window the wagons and animals are assembled and ready for the trip.
“Mrs Fletcher – While we are gone, all our protecting wards will be in place and both my pet owl and the crow will be standing guard.
“Also Charlie has a couple of surprises ‘up her sleeve’ for any unwelcome intruders’
“But if you at any point think you are in danger, I or Roo will return immediately as the true Knights that we are!”
I get a big smile in return as she says;
“Make sure that you return with the Cap’n safe and sound, or you had better not return at all!
“AND keep Katt safe, she is not used to outdoor catering! AND bring back all my pots”
Charlie is now outside and has organised her animals.
She has Nose ‘at point’ to sniff out any trouble on the way and Beau practising her trumpeting as a clarion call to all our worthy citizens as we travel up the long winding path.
She herself has hold of Sugar and Spice on long leads. This is not necessary, but just for show, as they are tame (if you can ever truly consider a large cat to be tame!).
I am waiting for Cap’n Bob to give the command: “By the left quick march!”
But he seems to be preoccupied with something.
Then I realise what that something is. The fur on Sugar’s neck is covering our spy pearl necklace and Angel cannot view any pictures.
“NO!!! DEFINITELY NO!!!!” bellows Charlie, as the Cap’n approaches the cat with a large pair of scissors!
In a trice she has knitted a thin silk scarf from gossamer threads and tied it around Sugar’s ruff.
And gives a big grin of satisfaction as she waves her needles at him.
“Now let us go!”
Just the ticket - FANTABULOUS!
I am appalled that not only do I have to contend with Randy barking orders at me now PTG is following suit.
When this mission is over I will have a few words with those two!
I check my costume in the mirror & am satisfied that my Bloody Mary outfit is convincing.The blood on the sleeves & bodice will add a little drama to my knife throwing act, although it may prevent anyone in the audience from being a volunteer to assist me, ha ha.
I put on my cloak & a pair of gloves to hide the cuts from my practice sessions then join the rest of our merry band of circus performers just stopping to check that the Fortune Wheel (with my minor adjustments) has been packed.
I take a place downwind of the cats......with all this blood on my costume they may mistake ME for lunch!!!!
AS OUR STRANGE CIRCUS FORMS UP I LOOK AROUND. EVERYTHING LOOKS AS IT SHOULD FOR A SMALL TRAVELING CIRCUS. WHEN CAP STARTS TOWARD US WITH SCISSORS TO CLIP THE FUR COVERING THE PEARLS I YELL AT HIM. NO WAY IS HE CUTTING THAT FUR. I PULL OUT THE MAGIC KNITTING NEEDLES GIVE THE THE ORDER TO MAKE A WHITE SOFT SCARF. THE PUT IT SUGAR. THEN CHASE THE CAP AWAY WITH MY NEEDLES POINTED AT HIM. THEN ASK THE NEEDLES TO MAKE ONE FOR SPICE. THAT WAY THE SCARF WILL NOT DRAW UNDUE ATTENTION.
IN THE BRIGHT CART ARE OPAL AND KATT WITH EVERYTHING THEY WILL NEED TO FEED US AND THE CUSTOMERS WHO COME TO SEE OR SHOW. BEAU IS SO FULL OF HIMSELF TRUMPETING AWAY. THAT SHOULD GET US NOTICED.
JL IS SITTING ON BABY'S HEAD. HE THINKS IT AN ADVENTURE. IT MAY WELL BE.
HOPE THE CAP LIKES THE FEW TRICKS I HAVE BEEN TEACHING THEM. SNOOP WILL BE SURPRISED IF HE GETS STEPPED ON. BABY AND BEAU KNOW HE WILL BE RUNNING IN AND OUT OF THEIR LEGS AS THE DANCE. SUGAR AND SPICE HAVE LEARNED TO SIT ON CHAIRS WITH NO BACKS. AND PAW THE AIR LIKE THEY REALLY WOULD LIKE TO ATTACK. SUGAR WILL PLACE HER PAWS ON MY SHOULDERS KEEPING HER WEIGHT ON HER BACK LEGS AS I PLACE MY HEAD IN HER MOUTH. SHE IS SUCH A SWEET THING. THEY WILL LEAP OVER EACH OTHER AND COME TO A STOP JUST INCHES FROM RANDY OR I. AND ROAR.
BABY AND BEAU WILL LET JL JUMP UP ON ONE RUMP THE RACE TO THE TRUNK OF ONE TO THE TRUNK OF THE OTHER THEN TO THE RUMP THEN TURN AND RUN THE OTHER WAY. THIS TIME THE TRUNK WILL NOT BE TOGETHER AND HE WILL DROP. THEY WILL CATCH HIM AND SWING HIM LIKE A JUMP ROPE THE FLIP HIM IN THE AIR AND CATCH HIM. MORE OR LESS DO WHAT THEY DO WITH HIM IN THE BARN TO KEEP HIM OUT OF MISCHIEF AND ENTERTAINED. WITH LUCK NO ONE WILL LEAVE A BUCKET OF WATER NEAR THEM WHEN PREFORMING OR THEY ARE LIKELY TO HOSE THE GUESTS. IF THE CAP WANTS MORE THAN THIS HE HAD BETTER ASK.
WE HAVE WORKED ON THESE ACTS ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS. BUT THEY ARE BRIGHT WELL MOST ARE. THEY WILL DO ANYTHING I ASK IF I CAN SHOW THEM OR TELL THEM WHAT IS WANTED.
SO WE ARE OFF. I LOOK UP AT GRIFF WATCHING THE GROUP GATHER READY TO DEPART. HE NODS. HE KNOWS HE WILL BE PART OF THE DEFENSE OF THE TEA ROOM IF NEEDS BE.
I AM SURE SMOKE AND SHEBA WILL ALSO HELP. IF THAT LITTLE MAN COMES AGAIN HE WILL NOW ONLY FIND DOOGIE AND GOLDIE. AND A GNOME THAT THAT DINKY AND SMIDGE HAVE HIRED TO DO THE CHORES WHILE WE ARE GONE. HE KNOWS NOTHING SO CAN'T SAY ANYTHING OF IMPORTANCE.
WE ARE READY AND WAITING FOR CAP TO GIVE THE ORDER.
We should be standing to attention and waiting for an inspection from our Cap’n, but his superb moostashio seems to have moulted and is rather lop sided!
He glowers at Roo
“Where on earth did you get this? It is not fit for purpose.
“I can’t be seen with such a disaster on my lip”
Roo sniffs in disdain and says
“I paid good money for that! You must have tweaked it too hard and pulled some of the hairs out”
The Cap’n bristles! (“bristles” – get it?!)
“I am NOT paying for this – the cost comes out of YOUR pocket”
At this jibe, Roo colours slightly and fishes around in her pockets.
She tosses a box to him and snarls:
“Here is the box. YOU go back and get a refund. After all we are near the Town Toyshop at the moment and that is where I got it from.”
The Cap’n looks at the box, gasps when he sees the price tag on it and then reads the small print.
“You cretinous 3ic! Don’t you read
”This is a JOKE Moostashio and is supposed to disintegrate!”
He storms off back to the Toyshop with box and disintegrated contents while we all stand and wait
Waiting still, for the command to be off on our journey.
"CRETINOUS"!!! The man called ME cretinous.
I am outraged as Randy walks away muttering of a court marshal.Angel steps in front of me with her arms outstretched to block my path.
"Roo... I do not need a crystal ball to predict you are heading for trouble here.You need to calm down"
I spend less than half a nanosecond considering this then dismiss this option.
I take a side step to the left,take out a Hero's Strike from a pocket in my cloak & hurl it like a discus at the back of Randy's head.
It's a knockout!....
I roll Randy over,jump on top of him to pin him down then take out a paintbrush & a bottle of Ink of Night (which is the most indelible type of ink).
My artistic skills are a little limited but it does not take long to replicate a slightly squiffy moustache & add a goatee beard before Randy has a chance to wake up.
When he does I will inform him that there is no charge for this service.
I do a look over , a head count and make sure all are here in costume and ready to RUMBELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
I am so proud of all the work my gang has done in putting this terrific plan into action
I am so impressed with how authentic our costumes look , I being a tad war with the Lion Tamers balloon pants over my industrial pants the Mage gave me but better be safe than sorry I say as maybe one of the cats gets a tad to close to me down under and rips them off me ya never know .
Miss Katt comes to me and checks the fake scars and to see my moustaceio is on right she whispers in my ear bring them all back safe and sound to us gives me a quick peck on my cheek ,, turns a beet read and is gone,,, Opel winks at me them gives her huge belly laugh ,,, HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMPH I turn to hide my red face but with a huge smile on my face.
OKAY Charlie join me in front line up everyone we are about to head out .
I hear laughter and look around to see tiny multi colored bubbles floating in the air and hear music??
Then I spot Egor siting on Opels shoulder cranking out music on his box but some one ( Roo maybe)) some how set the box up that when he cranks the box not only music flows but now bubbles ,,, great effect.
I stand before the gang and give one more look over and say ,,, GREAT LOOKING GROUP are you ready ??? just do as we planed and we should conquer ,,,, remember any trouble and I will handle it and at the end of every day we will have a meeting to dicuss any changes and our next object.
OKAY first we take Riddle and the Gnomes to Jacob's farm then we are off.
OPEL KEEP EGOR BUSY WITH BANANAS UNTILL WE NEED HIM TO GRIND THE BOX.
ATTENTION RIGHT FACE FORWARD MARCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
To break the tension the Gnomes stat to sing ..... HI HO HI HOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HI HO HI HO IT'S OFF TO WORK WE GO ....
i speak to Frost == Brave on we are on the march keep a sharp eyes out,,,, **** YES RIDER ***********
I hold up my arm AMULETS OPEN ALL AMULETS....
And our Quest begins.
"I got your message from Grumpy Owl Mrs Fletcher and rushed over as fast as these here feet can run." By and by ...Is that Owl always that Grumpy? .... ....I am afraid He is Opel with everyone with the exception of "Wise Raven" who is His BFE. What in the Blue Blazes are you doing in Doc Poppets Extensive Care Mrs Fletcher? You know Opel how I really do try and take care of myself as well as the Special Family that I hold dear, well now a few days ago I started to feel a we bit frumpy but didn't know why...well now it turned out that I was bleeding internally and when all holy heck broke loose leaving me with having to take and emergency ride...have you ever ridden in one of Doc Poppets Vehicles Opel? I can tell you it's quite a ride? Wheeeeeeee!.......Before I knew it I was brought to the ICU where I had to have a lot of probing and poking where they found out that I had an rather server case of Diverticulitis and would have to take special care on what I eat from now on.....Sigh.........."Your on a restricted Diet is what your saying correct Mrs Fletcher?" Well don't you be a fretting about that dear cause there are times when I have to put our Captain Randy on one too.......especially when he's been taking too many sips of his "Honey Rum! Whooowee does that man love His Honey Rum!!!!.........."Well dear, I will just hustle my way back to the Tea House and start tonight's dinner then let everyone that your here at Doc's OK? That would be so wonderful Opel...thank you sooooo much.......