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Sitting in my secret observation room, so thoughtfully furnished by Grimm all those moons ago, I watch with some interest the others milling around the Tea Room as well as outside its front door.
Cap’n Bob has pinned up a note and it is addressed to me.
Essentially what he is saying is “put up or shut up!”
I can’t “resign” my 2ic position. I can only quit and become an ordinary MC citizen.
Well, that is what I feel like doing at this moment, but deeper thoughts come to the surface concerning our unworthy CEO and his wizards
That Bone Kingdom sorcerer is still here and there are other cronies together with the more serious threats from Murk and other creatures of the underworld.
All these need to be defeated if the MC is to survive as an independent Realm and I can not possibly help accomplish this as an ‘ordinary’ citizen.
Fortunately, Cap’n Bob has put a female soldier from the Camp in charge of the area so I can take a couple of days off.
I cannot be AWOL if I am not a soldier. So he cannot have it both ways!
But first to deal with the irritation of Roo Roo and her accomplice Angel.
The rest of the female coterie are just bystanders in the latest assault on my sensibilities.
Time to implement my Cunning Plan!
I go to the HOS Repository and get a couple of empty sacks. One of these I fill with Rare pet food, and the other thousands of those horrible shiny bugs that are crawling all over the HOS containers.
I then search the shelves assigned to me for storing my pets until I find the Pensive Spider hidden beneath a leaf to protect it from my hungry Wise Toad.
Time for me to have a little chat with it.
I show it the large sack bulging with its pet food and tell it that I want to exchange one can of food for one baby spider.
Will it make the swap?
Now that sack was VERY heavy, but in no time at all I have it as light as a feather but now bouncing and wriggling inside as hundreds of tiny spiders’ crawl all over one another to escape.
Finally I swish over them, using my magical broom as an Eternal Wand, the chant I found in the Book of Knowledge Lost Pages that will give these creatures immunity from any physical or magical “zapping”!
(Except by me of course!)
Back to Grimm’s observation room where I look on the moving pictures to locate Roo and Angel.
There they are still yapping away ten to the dozen in the Tea Room while scoffing delicious food that they certainly haven’t earned.
Ah well! My lot is never a happy one but hopefully neither will theirs be shortly.
I had at first thought to locate Roo’s cloak and Angel’s baby-doll nightie and fill them with the 'creepie crawlies'.
But a little alarm bell tinkles in my head concerning the safety of Roo’s cloak which could only have come from my mage!
So I use the nearby apertures and slip into their bedrooms having first cancelling out temporarily the magical wards that Roo has placed all over the place.
There I remake their beds but with certain additions!
I return to my observation post and wait!
EVERYONE IS MILLING AROUND THE TEA ROOM. I HEAR WHAT PTG IS THINKING AND UP TO. HE FORGETS I CAN HEAR HIS THOUGHTS. I QUICKLY WRITE A NOTE AND HAND IT TO ANGEL PLACING A FINGER TO MY LIPS , HOPING SHE UNDERSTAND NOT TO SAY ANYTHING OUT LOUD. THEN NOD TOWARD ROO.
As Roo Roo and I are laughing over Cap's letter to PTG, I feel a nudge at my hand. Charlie hands me a note and puts a finger to her lips then looks over at Roo Roo. I read the note.....way to go, Charlie! Hahahaha I then pass the note discreetly to Roo Roo, telling her to throw it in the fireplace after she reads it. Roo reads the note, drops it onto the fire, then grabs my hand and says, come on.....we have work to do!
I idly twiddle the knobs on the picture before me and it shows the Tea Room in glorious colour. The walls are now sparkling, the floor is in pristine condition and the ceiling repairs have been done.
The gnomes have done a great job once more.
It is then that I notice, or rather sense, the absence of sound.
Where is the clack, clack of Charlies’s knitting needles?
She is crouched over in her chair, but her work is on her lap.
What she is doing is writing???
I zoom in and to my horror read the note she is penning to Angel and Roo.
It is telling them of my Cunning Plan.
How does she know? My amulet is in the off mode.
Then I remember that she has the ability to read my thoughts.
My rage is so immediate and irrational that she could not possibly have determined the cause of it if I act quickly.
So painful as it is to me, I stub my toe on the edge of the table
With 99% of my mind broadcasting this, I use the remaining 1% to tell my broom to IMMEDIATELY go to Roo and Angel’s bedrooms and remove all evidence of my Plan.
Return the foul objects to the HOS Repository.
Through the tears I see that Charlie has already passed the note on, so she still has no knowledge of me cancelling the Plan.
Now to keep her, that meddling old woman, in isolation of the others while I work out an alternative Plan which will prevent her from continuing to read my mind.
My revenge on Roo and Angel can wait. This has priority.
Of course, as my pain is easing by now, she will have realised my discovery of her meddling but not what I have done to counteract it.
I decide to give her a taste of what is more to come if she does it again!
“Broom! How busy are all our worthy citizens playing in the Castle?”
My broom does a quick survey and replies “Very busy! The dust bunnies are everywhere, and you haven’t released me yet today to go and sweep them away.”
“No matter. Now you can do so, but heap ALL of them either on or around Charlie!
“Bury her in them and carry on doing so until I tell you to stop!”
I then switch my amulet on and tell her that I am watching her!
She is such a ‘nice old lady’ but she does have an extensive vocabulary when she requires it!
I turn back to the picture in front of me knowing that there will be no more notes forthcoming from her
HAW!!!! I KNEW HE HAD TO HAVE CAMERAS HERE WE HAVE NOT FOUND. I LOOK UP AND SMILE. HE MAY THINK I CAN NOT HEAR HIM. SO HE THINKS TO MESS WITH ME. I AM SORRY HE HAS STUBBED HIS TOE. HIS TRICKS ONE ROO I DON'T USUALLY INTERFERE IN. BUT USING CREEPY CRAWLIES IN THEIR BEDS IS TOO MUCH. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THEY HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THEM BUT AS A KID I DID. THEY DO NOT FAIR WELL INSIDE. OUTSIDE NO PROBLEM.
THEN I SAY OUT LOUD. BROOM DO NOT FORGET IT WAS NOT AN IDOL THREAT. I TAKE A LIGHTER FROM MY BAG AND HOLD IT UP. THE DUST BUNNIES THAT HAS STARTED TO SURROUND ME STOP. I GATHER THEM AND STUFF THEM IN THE SACK I KEEP IN MY BAG FOR THEM. PICK UP MY BAG AND HEAD FOR THE KITCHEN. WITH OPAL GONE I LET KATT I AM GONE TO THE BARN. AND ASK PENNY IF SHE WOULD LIKE TO COME AND MEET THE ANIMALS HERE. I THINK MR. T MIGHT MAKE A NEW FRIEND OR TWO THERE.
I tune into the Tea Room with a smile on my face to watch Charlie’s discomfiture.
My smile freezes!
There is NO discomfiture!
There are NO dust bunnies being heaped all around and on top of her!
The room is bare and in pristine condition
And Charlie’s chair is empty.
She is not there.
Searching around I see that she has gone to visit her menagerie with a sack of the dust bunnies over her shoulder!
Drat! And double DRAT!
Flummoxed I turn to my broom for an explanation.
After all it was such a simple task for it to accomplish.
Then I feel a small wriggle in my pocket
It is trying to hide from ME!
“Come out right now and explain yourself!”
A very shaky broom emerges
"Charlie has threatened me with incineration if I continue!
"Since all you would do is to tell me off for dereliction of duty – personal safety first!"
That confounded woman! Turns even my broom against me.
There must be something to counteract the thought transference spell between her and me.
I need expert help so I open the aperture to the Dark Tower Library and head for the Book of Knowledge. There I open the ancient tome and search.
After several fruitless hours I find what I am seeking on a scrap of paper attached to the wards protection page.
In the ancient script I read: In the Northern Islands the Druids have fashioned a potent drug to read the minds of their enemies.
Unfortunately, they could also read each other’s minds and it drove them mad with the result that they started to fight among themselves instead!
So their most ancient and powerful mage developed a powerful drug to counteract this.
They store it in an Ancient Sphere, and it takes the form of a Magic Pollen.
You sniff it and your brain cells become immune to outside thoughts.
Just what I want!
Now dare I risk travelling to that unholy Realm where capture is a strong possibility?
The answer has to be YES and immediately so!
Before Charlie can interfere or summon up help from the others or even Cap’n Randy.
I am off using my broom as a sumptuous charabanc.
I only hope that this Northern Kingdom has no magical defenses to combat what I am about to do!
IN THE BARN WITH PENNY AND MR. T I THINK AH!!!! THE PEACE AND QUIET IN MY HEAD HERE IN THE BARN DISTRACTED I CAN'T HEAR ANYONE THINKING. IT IS ONLY WHEN I AM SITTING QUIETLY DO I HEAR THEIR THOUGHTS. MAYBE I SHOULD TAKE BABY AND BEAU OUT MORE OFTEN, OR GO WITH THE CATS WHEN THEY HUNT. I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MUCH OF THE AREA SINCE I STAY CLOSE TO THE TEA ROOM AS CAP SAID NOT TO GO OFF ALONE. IF I AM WITH BABY AND BEAU OR THE CATS I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD BOTHER ME. THEN I CHUCKLE. I INTRODUCE PENNY AND MR. T TO THE CATS, DOGS, BABY AND BEAU WHO HAVE JL UNDER CONTROL. THEN I INTRODUCE THEM TO GOLDIE AND DOOGIE. PENNY GIVES THEM THE APPLE AND CARROT TREATS AND A FEW SCRATCHES. I TELL MR. T HE CAN COME HERE ANYTIME THINGS GET TOO MUCH FOR HIM IN THE TEA ROOM. HE WILL BE WELCOME.
Although it is not a long journey over to the other Realm, there is time for me to put my feet up and sink back into the luxury of a Regency sofa.
It is then that I notice that both my owl and crow are perched on the arm at the end.
Which I have now determined is owl-speak for ‘I am not happy!’
My crow then enters my mind
It tells me in no uncertain terms: “You are an idiot to even attempt this voyage on your own.
"I have been in contact with members of my family over there and they are lining up to pluck the flesh from your bones!
“Their tables are laid and at the ready!
“Apart from this, you are also insane to want to take such a potion!
“It will make YOU an imbecile who cannot communicate with anyone other than your own kind.
“It will not just be your foes unable to discern your thoughts, but you will not be able to discern theirs either whether vocal or written!
“So please turn back before it is too late, and you are snared into that terrible Realm!
“There must be another way to help you hide your feeble thinking from your fellows!”
Frost lands in the open field and I tell him wait here for me and keep an eye out , I do not like this uneasy feeling I am getting something not right.
I high tail it to the Tea Room and enter.
Man the place looks great the Gnomes did a great job again .
Hey where is every one good way to catch them off gaurde no one knew I was coming lol where is Penny?
I hear a chuckle in my Amulet // it's PTG hum I can hear him and his crow his Crow is having a fit and telling PTG to go back or else.
I then hear and understand why his Crow is freaking out ,, my lame brain idjit doorknob is almost at The Northern Island....
HAS HE TOTALLY LOST HIS MIND AND ALL HIS MARBLES????
WHAT THE $%^&&^^% DOING GOING THERE AND ALONE THE BLUNDERING IDJIT.
WHAT IN HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS GOING TO THERE ?? WHAT IS HE AFTER? WHAT IS HE LOOKING FOR ??
ALL THAT DOORKNOB WILL FIND IS THAT VIKING WARRIOR'S HORNED HELMET UP HIS ARSE AND WOULD NEED A DOUGHNUT PILLOW JUST TO SIT.
HOW MANY BLEEDING TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY ******** DO NOT GO ANYWHERE OUTSIDE THE TEA ROOM ALONE*******
MY MIND IS AT WAR WITH IT'S SELF,,, THEY ARE A GOOD BUNCH == * YEAH RIGHT DUMB AS A DOOR-NAIL**BUT THEY DO GET SOME THINGS RIGHT** YOU LOST YER MIND**??
OKAY OKAY ENOUGH AS I SCREAM INTO MY AMULET PTGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG YOU FLIPPING DOOR KNOB TURN AROUND THIS VERY SECOND AND GET YER ARSE BACK TO THE TEA ROOM NOT YOUR HIDING HOLE T BUT TO THE TEA ROOM I AM HERE AND YOU GOT 5 SECONDS TO TELL ME YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY OR WILL SEND FROST AFTER YOU