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"Boy oh boy....Mrs Fletcher wasn't exaggerating one iota when She mention how Beautiful Captain Randy's Land was........"Salty!".......What in the world are you doing here...and...How in the blue blazes did you get here anyway????........"One question at a time will I answer Young'un...Now you just hunker down over on that rock while I will settle myself nice and cozy like in this here rocking chair........."Now question number two...Hummmm...hummmm...No that's not right...hummmm...that's not right neither....Come to think of it I don't really relocate how I did get here........now for the first question...After hearing just how amazing Jacobs Farm was with all the Flower and Vegetable Gardens,...... I started thinking ta myself how wonderful it would be not only for the Special Room Family...but specially Captain Randy...(cause We all know don't we dear Friends just how much He does loves His Honey Rum......!) if I could bring several Honey Bee Hives over an establish a Bee Colony here right next to Jacobs Farm...."Well Salty.".......You'd better discus over with Captain Randy first...but I do know just how much He does love His Honey Rum.......
Oh craponacracker PTG did it this time ,,, he did the one thing (well one of the things) I told him NEVER DO and that is to rial up the women folk
Has he not learned what they can do to us Men folk when we rial them.
He is so damn lucky Opel is not here or God forbid PUP ( who is busy over at The Main Camp helping The Golden Queen with Imp.
He is a blundering idjit a goof a door knob but damn it he is MY idjit , My goof My door knob and a fellow in arms.
At that very moment I am scared for his life and I tell Frost remove the ice barrier so he can run if need be,
*FROST* YES RIDER BUT I WILL COVER HIM IN A SHEET OF ICE IF HE CALLS ME FROSTY ONE MORE TIME,
Calm down brave one He has a way of rubbing us all the wrong way at times but he is still a valued member of this family and I will see no harm come to him unless it is by MY HAND LOL
I watch him go to the far table and sit alone,,, then I see ROO ROO go to him ,, lean over like they are talking then she leaves.
??????????????????? what was that all about??????????????????
I go sit with him and see he has not touched his Tea and it does not look like his favorite blend,,, I take the cup sniff it and look at PTG ,, man they are P**** at you.
Miss Katt please may I speak to you?
She comes over and say yes Cap what may I do for you ,,, but looking at PTG with daggers in her eyes.
I think PTG regrets what he said ** I look at him and I whisper nod man*** he does but with fire in his eyes.
Now would you ladies please take it down a notch and let me handle this and please bring him his tea ,,,, not this as I hand her the cup but his Tea ,
Thank you Miss Katt you are a darlin.
She blush's and in no time returns with PTG pipping hot freshly made Tea.
I look at him and say ,,, I do not want to get into this right now for I am really pressed for time , but what I do want from you is a promise you WILL NEVER GO OFF ALONE INTO UNCHARTED AREAS.
It is to dangerous for you and for us ,,, do you have a death wish man?
You know your position of being My 2cd is an honorary title and given to you because I know yo are an intelligent man , very loyal but because you are NOT reg. Army you have trouble at times following orders and normally you goof up are not that serious and can be fixed but this stunt was deadly to you and us.
We talked for several minutes and he told me how fed up he is of Charlie reading his mind and knowing his thoughts .
I understand that but you do know she was born with that ability and it gets to much even for her at times so that is why *** now listen carefully PTG****** she will go tend the critters or do something that occupies her mind in that time it blocks out the others's thoughts >
I look deep into his eyes got it??
So you NOT need any potions powders creams etc.
When she is distracted === got it?
A smile a mile wide crosses his face ,, then he touches his pocket where the bottel is.
But what about right now??
We are safe she is with Penny and Mr.T and they have returned to the critter in-closer .
By the way Penny is here to help you NOT take over and it is only till I return so she is a friend and is here to help like if that Rat returns she will handle it.
I am glad we got this settled now do I have your word? no going off half cocked or wander away alone?
I extend my hand.
We shake a gentleman's agreement.
I rub my Amulet Penny front and center solider .
She is there in a heart beat and at attention saluting , that I return.
As you where...... every one your attention please ,,, I must return ASAP to the Main Camp so I leave you in the safe hands of PTG ROO ROO and Penny as there back up.
Try your best to stay out of trouble until I return LOL.
I call Frost to be ready I am on my way.
Be good kids as I return to Frost.
I CALMLY WALK OVER TO PTG. HE IS SULKING NOT ONLY HAS HE TICKED OFF ALL THE WOMEN HERE BUT MY CATS NOW LOOK AT HIM WITH DISTRUST. I STAND NEXT TO HIM AND SAY. I AM SORRY I TEND TO FOIL YOUR PLANS BUT SOME OF THEM ARE THE WRONG WAY TO GO. I MAY NOT LIKE SPIDERS UNLESS THEY ARE OUT DOING WHAT THEY ARE MEANT TO DO. BUT I CAN NOT STAND BY AND LET THEM BE DESTROYED WHICH SOME OF THE COULD HAVE BEEN, IF YOUR LITTLE PLAN HAD GONE FORWARD. IT IS NOT MY FAULT I CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS. I WAS BORN THIS WAY. I TRY NOT TO HEAR PEOPLE BUT IT IS HARD NOT TO WHEN IT SOUNDS LIKE YELLING IN MY HEAD. YOU DO YELL WHEN YOU GET EXCITED ABOUT A PLAN. MOST OF THE TIME YOU ARE JUST AN ANNOYING BUZZ TO MY BRAIN. SO PLEASE TRY NOT TO GET SO EXCITED ABOUT YOUR SO CALLED CUNNING PLANS. ALSO REMEMBER YOUR BROOM MUST NEVER TRY IT'S ANTICS ON ME. I WILL REMOVES ITS BRISTLES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. I RETURN TO MY CHAIR. WONDERING IF HE HAS EVEN LISTENED TO WHAT I HAVE SAID. I KNOW HIS BROOM HAS. SELF PRESERVATION COMES FIRST TO MOST OF US.
NOW I SET MY MIND TO WHAT CAP HAS SAID ABOUT ENLARGING THE ENCLOSURE. THAT WILL BE EASY ENOUGH BUT I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH AND WHAT HIS PLANS ARE. DOES THE BARN ALSO NEED ENLARGED OR JUST THE ENCLOSURE. WELL UNTIL HE TELL ME I WILL JUST HAVE TO LET DINKY AND SMIDGE KNOW THAT THEY WILL NEED TO BE READY TO DO THE CONSTRUCTION.
NOW HE AND THE CAP ARE IN CLOSE CONVERSATION SO I ASK PENNY IF SHE AND MR. T WOULD LIKE TO RETURN TO THE ENCLOSURE WITH ME SO I CAN ASK DINKY AND SMIDGE IF THEY ARE ABLE TO DO THE UPGRADES TO THE ENCLOSURE AND MAYBE THE BARN. AND TO SHOW MR. T AND PENNY THE ENCLOSURE WE HAD ONLY DONE THE BARN. SHE AGREES AND WE LEAVE THROUGH THE BACK DOOR.
I watch Cap’n Bob depart on his dragon for the Camp and reflect on recent events.
One more I have managed with the best of intentions to upset everyone, so I think that I had better keep a low profile in the Tea Room until he returns.
It is on my way back into the Room that I feel a small tube in my pocket.
I take it out and hold it up to the light.
Inside I can see some gold dust swirling about and the thought suddenly hits me!
It can’t be! But it is! The magic pollen from the Northern Islands.
How did it get there? Has my mage come to the rescue?
I am just about to thank her profusely – wherever she is when I remember Roo Roo was absent in the Tea Room just a few minutes ago.
But was she?
She could have been wearing her cloak and had got the pollen herself. But how? My Cunning Plan was scuppered because both the Cap’n and my crow said that such a journey was too fraught with danger.
Anyway, I have the dust.
Mmmm! I think I will try out a little bit of it now.
I look at my hand and it is bloody.
But the Tea Room is warded and safe from attack.
Then I espy my crow cleaning its beak as if butter wouldn’t melt in its mouth and its eyes glaring at me.
“Do you not listen to ANYTHING that I tell you?
“That is Zombie dust and will turn you into an idiot!”
Dabbing my hand clean I slump back into my seat defeated!
“But never mind, the Cap’n has given you a way out, IF you can remember what he said just before he left!
“You need to relax until he returns. He has some powerful allies that he is bringing with him so just relax and play human games or something.”
Watching my wound slowly heal itself I ponder on my crow’s words.
Yes, ponder as I like to use that word!
I dissect each phrase, each letter of the Cap’n’s last comments before he left, and the penny suddenly drops!
Well actually, do nothing while Charlie is in close proximity. If she is in the zoo, mucking out then it becomes safe for me to think!
Safe to PLAN, and I rub my hands together in glee at the thought.
And she is not around at the moment.
I barely whisper to myself in my head what needs to be done.
Placate the kitchen brigade. When all is said and done, they were only protecting one of their kind
Think up some small discomfort for Angel. I SAW those points on her pencils!
I am a bit ambivalent about Roo. If she was the one to give me the Magic Pollen, then she is in my good books. But on the other hand, there is such a backlog of her messing me about and making me look stupid.
A voice in my head says; “But you ARE stupid! That is why I like you humans so much. We in our crow family get hysterics when I relate to them some of the things you have done!
“And she has had the grace to warn you. She will ALWAYS succeed in thwarting you and giving us something to laugh about!”
I feel suddenly hot.
I need to go outside and use one of the outdoor tables. The air temperature around me has got considerably hotter and so have I!
My hong cha is not soothing me and I cannot formulate any Plan while perspiring so much.
I call back inside to Miss Katz. “Can you please swap my tea for a Citron Pressé.” Perhaps that will cool me off, and I like preparing one to my taste in such weather.
Voila! I am soon sipping a juice that would beat any amount of honey rum!
Now, where was I?
Ah yes! A new Cunning Plan!
After spending an hour or so helping Falga make up Imps bed and make certain Imps surroundings were in a nice and comfy order for our Patient I received a Message from The Golden Queen to report to Her Master Swords Man for a Practice Demo on How well I was doing with the Dragon Sword........Gulp!....Boy was I so grateful to Captain Randy at this moment for all the time we spent together training.........even if it meant a smack or two once and a while!.........When caught off guard!...."Young Pup, I must let our Captain Randy know how pleased I am with the progress you've demonstrated this afternoon with the Dragon Sword.........Our Captain will be arriving soon, so young Pup I'll give you permission to leave Me now and make yourself presentable for His arrival.." Because one should never turn their back on their Queen, I bowed and walked backward from the throne with the Biggest Grin. (Cause My Captain Randy was coming at last and couldn't help showing it!........) Inside my chest my heart was doing somersaults I was so Happy! Yeaaaahhhh!......
OK! Time to test and see if the Cap’n is correct.
The fact that away from the Tea Room and especially in her zoo enclosures, Charlie’s tuning into my head isn’t so good.
I am a bit restricted on what I can do to her as ‘pay back’ for all her ‘interference’ in my nefarious activities:
But I mustn’t use creepy crawlies, and no mistreatment of any animal life whatsoever.
Then I have to keep out of the way from any ‘fall-back’ from her two overstuffed cats when they realize that their mistress has been ‘discommoded’ by me.
Tricky! But I have the time to hatch a small Cunning Plan and to put it into effect before she returns to the Tea Room.
It just might work!
Phase one: I get a cushion from the HOS Repository and ‘adapt it’ somewhat!
This I replace on her chair seat, and hide her regular cushion.
Phase 2: I wait until she returns and just as she is about to enter:
Phase 3: I begin to hum Beethoven’s famous tune – “Ode to Joy”
„Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium“
I can’t remember the rest so I continue:
„Pom, pom, pom, pom,
pom, pom, pom, pom“
Even remembering the tune taxes my poor brain blotting out all other thoughts, but I persist.
Charlie goes over to her chair and sits down in it smiling at us all as she takes up her knitting.
She has been gazumped by my improvised whoopee cushion!
The Cap’n’s hint works.
It is rather unfortunate that just at this moment her two feline guardians have expanded dramatically in shape just as Miss Katz is passing by with a tray of scrumptious cakes.
She screams fearing attack and then bursts into fits of laughter when she realizes what has happened and what SHE has just done.
Cake fragments, lashings of cream and fruit cover the heads of both Angel and Roo, Roo!
They had realized what had happened to Charlie and begun to hoot with mirth when Miss Katz fell on top of them!
I give a little sigh of pleasure!
Three for the price of one!
The day just couldn’t get better, or could it?
OLD TRICK BUT ONE I COULD AFFORD TO LET HIM DO. YES, I KNEW SOMEONE HAD CHANGED CUSHIONS BUT NOT WHO. MY CATS MUST HAVE KNOW, BUT SAID NOTHING. SENSE OF SMELL WOULD HAVE TOLD THEM. THEY KNEW IT WAS NOT A THREAT. BUT THE SOUND DID STARTLE THEM. I AM SORRY THEY FRIGHTENED KATT, BUT THE LOSS OF THE CAKES WILL PROBABLY BE GOOD PUNISHMENT FOR HE WHO THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY TO CHANGE THE CUSHION. THE LAUGH WILL BE ON HIM IF KATT FIGURES OUT HE DID IT. HE SEEMS TO ALSO FORGET I GREW UP WITH A WILD PACK OF BOY COUSINS. I WONDER, ARE THEIR ANY SMALL FRUIT TREES HERE. GUESS I WILL HAVE TO HAVE A LOOK AROUND OR AS A FEW OF THE LOCALS. MY OWN PLAN STARTS TO TAKE SHAPE.
I take a break when Rosie comes in to check on Imp and brings me a hot tea.
Rosie asks how things are going and what do I think the out come will be.
I turn to her and say in my heart I want Imp to come back to us and take her rightful place I know it will happen but it is ll up to her,,,
All I can do is stand her helpless ,,, **** Hold on there Randy you are not helpless,, I am sure Imp can feel and hear you and is fighting to come back from the the depths of hell she is in right now and I know and feel she ha connected with your Pup,, I can see small changes in Imp so stop thinking those things she will pick them up.
BUCK UP MAN Imp and all of us need you .
WHOA that was a wake up Rosie never calls me Randy ,,, but she is right.
AS YOU WHERE SOLDIER and whisper thank Rosie gal I got it.
I sit outside and drink my tea and take my Amulet,,
Things have been TO QUITE over in The Tea Room and that makes me more nervous then a pimple on an Ogress Butt
CHARLIE,,,, PTG,,,,,,, ROO ROO,,,,,, ANGEL,,,,,ANY ONE WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE????
I sit and wait for an answer.....
I smile as the message comes through!
In my best voice I smartly reply
"All present and correct and in the confines of the Tea Room area so you have NO NEED to concern yourself!"
"I have no Cunning Plan at the moment and the others are catching up with simple chores
!I will admit though that I cannot locate Roo Roo at the moment as I lack the wherewithal that is legitimate to do so!"
I sign off before I get the expletive ridden reply!