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The smell of an opulent feast wafts me towards Fletcher's Tea Room and Bar.
I can hear the Captain screaming about hippies in the distance.
I roll up my faux fur sleeves.
If this feast is vegan, someone's getting punched in the face.
CRAPONACRACKER ,,,,, I look again in the mirror to make sure my eyes saw what i think they saw.
Yep I look like a #$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@! hippie with a multi colored Mohawk where is my dad blasted cap ???
I shower and get as much gunck out of what is left of my hair !@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*( pretty soon they will blow every strand off me head .
I can smell the most delicious smell warfing on the light breeze and making me belly GROWL man I am hungry and that makes me stop thinking about me hair ,, I am so glad PTG'S fairy God Mother gave ,me my new pants causes lord knows with Jen paired up with Roo Roo I would be um um bare bottom again.
My Amulet kicks in and I hear Opel ,, Cap Cap I need to talk to you.
Rot Rouh now what.
I head right to the kitchen OMG smells sooooooooooooooooo good and I get my hand slaped as I try to snitch a bit of meat ,,, Roast Pig yummmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Okay whats up Opel?
Come with em Cap I gots to show ya sumthin...
We go out the back door and I look at a pile of Pigs>>>>> I look at Opel ???? and ???? Opel glares at me ... did ya lose yer dust bunnies when ya lost yer hair?
Um no?? Good Lord man what am I supposed to do with all these >>>>>> and more coming all the time. I have no more room in the cold cellar and if they start to rot guess who I will blame.
Oh craponacracker Opel is that what has your apron in a knot?
I call my boys via the Amulet to bring me a pile of spruce branches and shovels.
Okay Opel I will take care of this I am going to build you an extra large Home Steader refrigerator it will keep your meat frozen all year and every thing else cold like eggs , milk cheese butter what ever you need to keep cold.
I learned this from when I was stationed in Alaska ,,, learned at lot there.
The beauty of this is it will be outside and you will half steps to go down and shelves on both sides and a locker for the frozen food.
Hey that gives me an idea ,,, we can build one for every family yeah that is the answer.
Okay you go back and the boys and I will start tomorrow.
BUT CAP what about these here now??
No worries Frost will cover them so they will not go bad.
Opel goes to finish our feast and I explain to my boys what we will be doing tomorrow.
The boys lay the pile of Pigs out so Frost can give them a thin layer of ice and the boys cover them with the Spruce Limbs.
SUPPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TIME I AN STARVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
CAP LEFT LOOKING MORE LIKE A CLOWN THEN CAP. I TELL MY NEEDLES TAKE THE YARN LEFT FROM HIS SWEATER AND MAKE HIM A WATCH CAP TO COVER THAT, THAT, OH NEVER MIND I AM AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.
I HEARD OPAL'S COMPLAINT, AND CAPS SOLUTION. SURE THAT WILL WORK BUT THERE IS ANOTHER ANSWER TO PART OF THE PROBLEM. GRIFF, FEAST TIME. EAT AS MANY OF THE PIGS THAT FALL OUTSIDE OR WHERE CAP HAS OPAL'S STORE. SUGAR, SPICE. EAT THOSE YOU CAN IN THE ENCLOSURE. SOME ARE SURVIVING THEIR FALL. THE PROBLEM THERE IS THEY WILL GO WILD AND NO ONE WANTS TO COME UPON A SINGLE WILD PIG LET ALONE A HERD OF THEM. MAYBE FANG, SMOKE, SHEBA, AND THE PUPS CAN HELP. I KNOW THAT MY GNOMES HAVE BEEN PENNING THOSE THEY CATCH. THEY WILL BE GIVEN FREE TO WHO EVER WANTS THEM. BUT WHO WILL, WITH SO MUCH FREE PORK LAYING AROUND.
CAP SITS AND WAITS FOR OPAL'S MEAL I WALK OVER AND HAND HIM A NEW ARMY GREEN WATCHCAP.
HERE YOU GO CAP. AND HAND IT TO HIM THEN GO BACK TO MY CHAIR.
I HOPE THERE IS ENOUGH YARN LEFT TO HAVE A SPARE MADE. THOSE NEEDLES ARE GREAT WHEN SOMETHING IS NEEDED QUICKLY.
Charlie hands me a new watch cap to cover up the mess I call my hair.
Thank you Charlie I can always count on you.
Before she leaves I explain what I am doing with the homestead frig's and that very one will be getting one done for them but on a smaller scale of course.
With every one helping they will be done day after tomorrow I need to give the new Blacksmith time to weld the pieces I need for the walls Charlie looks at me like she could give a damn lol ok ok I know I do go on about building things but you will see it is great do you want a small one for you in the critter en-closer?
By the way have you seen PTG???
I page him via the Amulet PTG you better be near and not of to The Northen Island with out telling me.
And if not you better explain where you are and what you are doing you have a job to do remember?
If my feelings and yours are right and you think the is trouble brewing get on it man but see me first.
@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$#$%^&()_)(*&^%$ what is taking him so long ,,, he better NOT be with Jenny Wren talking about old times etc over tea and cookies idjit door knob.
Things are a little loosey goosey again time to put my foot down .
I turn the Amulet to all=========== ATTENTION ATTENTION THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN AND LEADER AND NOT IN A VER GOOD MOOD EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE ON THE OPEN FIELD IN TWO HOURS .
Perfect timing as Opel lays my plate down,,, I dig in OMG Miss Katt and her have out done themselves Roasted stuffed mint pig ,, sweet potatoes and fresh peas,, home made dinner rolls and lots of gravy .
I HAD JUST GOT BACK TO MY CHAIR WHEN THE CAP'S MESSAGE ROARED OUT IN STEREO, SINCE I WAS IN THE SAME ROOM AS HE WAS. I SAT MY KNITTING DOWN, WITH A BIT OF PEAK, AND A GLARE ON MY FACE WALKED BACK TO THE TABLE, JUST AS OPAL WAS PLACING HIS FOOD IN FRONT OF HIM.
LISTEN CAP, I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR TROOPS, AND I WILL NOT BE ORDERED TO BE ON THE FIELD EVER NOT EVEN IF THE BARN IS ON FIRE. YOU TRY IT AND WELL !!!! I STOOD GLARING AT HIM STROKING SUGAR ON ONE SIDE AND SPICE ON THE OTHER. YOU DO GET THE PICTURE DON'T YOU. I TURNED ON MY HEEL AND PICKED UP MY KNITTING PUT IT IN MY BAG AND HEADED FOR THE KITCHEN.
WHEN I REACHED IT I ASKED OPAL TO PUT MY SUPPER IN SOMETHING I COULD TAKE WITH ME TO THE BARN.
THEN LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER, AND SAID IF HE ASKS THAT IS WHERE I WILL BE. BETTER COMPANY THERE ANYWAY.
I TOOK THE CONTAINER WITH MY DINNER AND A THERMOS OF COFFEE AND HEADED FOR THE BARN. DARN FOOL PTG. GOING OFF, NO WORD TO ANYONE AND UPSETTING THE CAP LIKE THAT. STILL HE KNOWS I AM NOT ONE OF HIS TROOPS,
DON'T TAKE ORDERS ANY LONGER. LEFT THAT LIFE BEHIND WHEN I CAME HERE.
COME TO THINK OF IT I DIDN'T ANSWER IF WANTED A COLD STORAGE LOCKER IN THE BARN, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT AS I WALK TO THE BARN, NOPE, NO NEED. THE CATS GET FISH ON OCCASION, BUT MOSTLY WHATEVER CAN BE CAUGHT AROUND THE BARN, LOTS OF MICE THE OCCASIONAL RABBIT, I KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TOLD NO BUT THEY ARE HUNTERS BY NATURE. THE DOGS GET SCRAPS OF COOKED MEAT AND VEG FROM THE KITCHEN. THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES IN THE BARN THAT EAT MEAT. BUT OPAL AND KATT KEEP ME SUPPLIED FROM THE KITCHEN. SUGAR AND SPICE HUNT THEIR OWN FOOD. THEY WANT IT FRESH.
THE REST OF THE ZOO IT IS FRUIT, VEG, GRAIN, HAY. AND WHATEVER THEY CAN BROWSE IN THE PASTURES AROUND THE TEA ROOM. THEY DO KEEP THE GRASS AND WEEDS DOWN.
i Stand with my mouth almost hitting the floor after the blast I got from Charlie and the growls from Sugar and Spice.
I was dumbfounded whwt the !@#$%^&*()_++_)(*&^%$#@@#$%^&()_++_)(**&^%$# is wrong with that woman???
WHEN EVER HAVE I CALLED HER A TROOPER ????
She is a valuable art of this looney tunnie group and helps me keep them in control ** sometimes **** but mostly she is MOMMA BEAR to the critters .
And for her to EVEN think of setting Sugar and Spice on me is crazy does she NOT remember Frost ??
Man oh man I have ro talk to her as I head towards the back door through the kitchen Opel and Miss Katt stop me,, leave her calm down Cap she is riled at PTG and he will get his share when she nails him.
But that does not give her the right to blast me I know I know Cap says Opel but ya knows us females when we gets riled up any body with in a hundred miles will get it.
Let her eat and have her coffee and she will calm down.
The fact is Opel I hate to see her in with the critters all the time she does have her place at the head table with me and the others in the group and she does have her own cozy room she never use's .
She has to know how much we depend on her for the critters and how much she is loved,,,, ya know she reminds me of me Gran ,, rough as sandpaper and I was terrified of her at times but a heart of gold she had just like Charlie.
I will let her calm down for now but I will talk to her after I finish with the others.
Cap settles back to his dinner.
I think we should pull out that special dessert Ms Opel. We need to sweeten everybody up...
The Gooey Chocolate Torte is ready Katt.
Great, the berries are all cut up and macerated. Fresh sweet cream is whipped.
We bring the trays out so folks could make their own "shortcakes", large or small, all yours folks.
Pearl, Pop this one out to Charlie please...
SITTING QUIETLY IN THE BARN ENJOYING MY AFTER DINNER COFFEE, WHEN PEARL POPS IN WITH OH! MY, CHOCOLATE. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. HONEY FIRE GREETS PEARL AS I TAKE THE DESSERT FROM HER. THANK YOU PEARL AND THAN KATT FOR ME WHEN YOU GO BACK. THE TWO FIRE LIZARDS CHATTER FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES THEN PEARL POPS OUT AND HOME TO KATT. HONEY SETTLES BACK ON MY SHOULDER AND CHRIPS HER HAPPINESS AND FALLS ASLEEP. I CHUCKLE, A FULL FIRE LIZARD IS A SLEEPY ONE.
I stand **alone * tapping my foot and mumbling words not for any ears they are that bad.
I look at my Amulet and yep it is set to all so WTH?????
Oh what is that I smell chocolate is that cake ?
Oh my that smells like Opel's and Miss Katt"s Chocolate Torte oh gota have some gots have some now.
I am torn between waiting here for the meeting I called or The Tea Room hummmmmmmmmmm what to do what to do.
My dust bunnies all chime in ARE YOU NUTS YOU IDJIT GO FOR THE CAKE .
I hold the Amulet and say ..... I AM STILL WAITING AND YOU KNOW IT IS NOT GOOD TO P*** ME OFF MORE THAN I AM NOW SO I GIVE YOU ALL 30 MINUTES THEN ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE
I tear back to get MY CAKE YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm at the table enjoying the delicious chocolate torte cake when Cap barrels in looking for his share! LOL
But, he also has a scowl on his face when he sees me! He comes over as Miss Katt brings him his HUGE piece of cake, bellowing that I'm LATE for the all hands on deck meeting in the field and the only reason I have a reprieve is because of the cake! Whew!
Fine, I'll head out with you when we're done here. Miss Katt...may I please have a tall glass of milk to go with my cake?