Jenifer (Zarknorph)

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Ready for The Special Room (latest)   Oh the Absurdity!

Started 4/18/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 295109 views.
Randytb

From: Randytb

Jul-23

AFTER HEARING ALL THE ACCUSATIONS ABOUT  WHO DID WHAT AND WHO WAS TO BLAME,, I CLAMP ME TEETH TOGETHER AS NOT TO JUMP ON PTG AND RIP OFF HIS FACE.

HE NEVER EVER OWNS UP TO WHEN HE F***/S UP.

I HOLD UP MY HAND AND SLAM THE PAD DOWN AND SAY OKAY LETS GET ONE THING STRAIGHT RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

CHARLIE WHERE DID YOU HID THE VERY LARGE STASH OF BOMBS AND GUN POWDER BULLETS AND TNT?

WELL IN A PLACE I KNEW NO ONE WOULD LOOK NOT EVEN OPEL OR MISS KATT.

I PUT ALL OF IT IN BARRELS AND PUT IT UNDER THE KITCHEN FLOOR BACK UP AGAINST THE WALL SO OPEL OR MISS KATT WOULD NOT MISTAKE IT FOR BACKING/COOKING GOODS THEN PUT THE REAL BARRELS IN FRONT .

WHO KNEW JEN WOULD GO SNOOPING AND FIND THEM AND WHO KNEW SHE HAS MATCHES ON HER?

I LOOK AT PTG?? SO MY FAULT HUH?

YES I GAVE HER ORDERS TO BLOW UP THE TUNNELS BUT DID SHE COME TO ME AND ASK FOR THE PLANS AS TO WHERE SHE WAS TO BLOW UP ???

ANYWAY IT IS DONE NOW WE HAVE TO FIX THIS MESS === AGAIN

OKAY PTG ORDER THE FIREWORKS AND NOW TO FIND JEN HUM

THERE IS ONLY ONE ANSWER TO THIS,,,,, CHARLIE DO YOU TRUST PTG WITH GHOST PUP?

HE CAN GO SEARCH EVERYWHERE WE CAN NOT.

BUT MY QUESTION CHARLIE IS HOW DO WE KNOW WHERE HE IS AND IF HE FOUND JEN?

YOU CAN NOT GO.... i CAN NOT SEE NOR UNDERSTAND HIM..... NOR ANGEL... BUT ONE OF US HAS TO BE THERE

SO IT IS UP TO YOU CHARLIE MAY WE USE WHAT LOOKS LIKE OUR ONLY LIFE LINE TO FINDING JEN AND WHO WILL GO WITH HIM AND ONE OF US YOU DECIDE.

PTG GET THAT ORDER IN ASAP

I LOOKED AT THE CAP.   I DON'T ,   NOT EVEN WITH HIS BROOM WHY THAT SILLY THING STAY WITH HIM I DO NOT KNOW.    

THEN I LOOKED AT PTG,  YOU WILL NOT SEE, NOR CAN YOU HEAR WHAT GHOST PUP SAYS.  I CAN.   YOU WILL KNOW WHERE HE IS AND WHICH WAY TO GO BY WHERE HE RUBS AGAINST YOUR LEG.  IF THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLY TO YOU PTG THEN ONE OF THE BIG CATS WILL GO WITH YOU.  THE MIST CAN NOT HARM THEM THEY ARE IMMORTAL.   THEY CAN HEAR GHOST PUP AND THEY ARE CHIPPED.  I RARELY HAVE TO USE MY AMULET WITH THEM SINCE THEY NEVER BOTH LEAVE ME UNGUARDED. 

NOW WHAT IS YOUR ANSWER PTG.   JUST GHOST PUP OR GHOST PUP AND A LARGE CAT ?

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Jul-25

The work is slow and laborious.

I feel like I'm getting nowhere, but more confidant that no one is around.

My hands are bloody and bruised, but I have to keep working.

There is a satisfying tumble of several large stones, revealing a gap I may be able to squeeze through.

I begin to carefully creep my way up the barricade, wary of causing a cascade that would take me with it.

Then I hear sharp shouting.

"No, you need to show me identification!  All palace guards are bound by the civil rights of the denizens protection act to properly identify themselves- Ow! That hurt!  Now that was COMPLETELY inappropriate! Conscientious objection should always be considered and valued- HEY!  Alright. I am sorry I have to do this, but I suspect you are not a Palace Guard at all.  Now, I would never presume that anyone in a different socio-economic threshold could not acquire any position they applied for, but your uniform appears to be ill-fitting and torn.  I don't want to money shame you, or imply that you cannot take care of your uniform, but in this case-"

And Tarquin is knocked out.

The plot thickens.  Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

I stay still and silent for a full five minutes before continuing my ascent to freedom.

The gap is narrow, but my waifish figure squeezes through just in time for another crashing rockslide.

Half my remaining tutu is torn and sent down into the pile behind me.  The blood from my hands glistens on the lighter stones.  Anyone who came across this scene would assume I was crushed beneath it.

Good.  My captors thinking I'm dead buys me time.

Several unlit torches are housed upside down in a barrel full of pitch.  I take one and light it from the brazier nearby.

This was the source of light I had.  Not daylight.  Not freedom.  Just more caves.

I can see Tarquin chained to a wall, unconscious.  There is a deep pool of water in the centre of the cavern.  I quench my thirst.  It is the most beautifully pure water I have ever tasted.

There are several tunnels leading in all directions from the central chamber.

I was unconscious when I was brought here.  Tarquin was not. 

I need him if I am going to escape.

I sigh.  "God Dammit".

SharpEye1

From: SharpEye1

Jul-25

TARQUIN??  TARQUIN IS BACK??!!  OH DEAR........NOW I'LL HAVE TO BE KEEPING AN EYE OVER MY SHOULDER AGAIN.  HE STILL HASN'T FORGIVEN ME FOR TAKING OVER HIS POSITION AS HEAD REPORTER FOR THE CLOUD CITY TIMES!  HAS HE BEEN TRACKING ME ALL THIS TIME AND I WASN'T AWARE OF IT?!

THANKFULLY, JEN IS BACK, I THINK, AND WILL BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH HIM WHEN NEED BE.  AND, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME  SINCE WE CROSSED PATHS AND HE WILL BE UNPLEASANTLY SURPRISED IF TRIES TO GET TO ME WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND.  WHAT HE DOESN'T KNOW IS  I'VE SPENT MY FREE TIME OVER THESE LAST FEW WEEKS TRAINING TO BE A WARRIOR, THANKS TO THE EXPERT GUIDANCE OF CAP AND PUP, AND THEY SAY I AM READY TO JOIN THEM WHEN THE BIG BATTLE COMES AGAINST THE EVIL THAT'S ONCE AGAIN INVADING OUR REALM. HAHAHAHAHA

BUT, BACK TO THE MATTER AT HAND, I'M TAKING ALL THE NOTES FOR HOW WE'RE GOING TO FIND AND RESCUE JEN, AFTER CAP'S PRANK ON HER WENT AWRY!  SO MUCH FOR SWEET REVENGE, CAP.........

SORRY, PTG, YOU WERE SAYING?????????

Randytb

From: Randytb

Jul-26

YA YA REVENGE MY SWEET PATOTIE.

DON'T YOU WORRY YOUR SWEET PATOTIE ANGEL YOU ARE MORE THAN READY TO HANDEL TARQUIN AN YOU AND PUP AND I WILL KEEP TRAING YOU FOR THE BIG BATTLE COMING AND BY ALL I HEAR IT IS GOING TO BE EVEN BIGGER THAN ANY THING I HAVE EVEN FACED THAT IS WHY WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET ND ALL HANDS ON DECK READY TO BATTLE

I LOOK OVER AT PTG DID HE EVEN HEAR ME??

I YELL PTG FOR GODS SAKE MAN SNAP TO IT STOP PICKING TEA LEAVES FROM YOUR TEETH AND ANSWER US.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND WILL YA I DO NOT HAVE ALL DAY JEN IS IN DEEP DO DO AND IN DIRE NEED FOR US TO FIND HER NOW IF YOU CAN NOT DECIDE ON WHO TO TAKE WITH ( I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HIM AND CHARLIE LOL) YOU I WILL AGAIN STEP IN AND DO YOUR ASSIGNMENT ------ WHY I MADE HIM MY SECOND IN COMMAND  WHEN THAT BRILLIANT BRAIN OF HIS TURNS TO BUBBLE GUM WHEN I REALLY NEED HIM !@#$%^&()__)(&^$#%^&

OKAY PTG YOUR ANSWER TIME IS RUNNING SHORT AND WE NEED TO MOVE TO FIND AND SAVE OUR JEN OR GO BACK TO PICKING TEA LEAVES .

  • Edited July 26, 2020 3:12 pm  by  Randytb
Kattlyn Raven (cindykat325)
Staff

Opel and I are busy in the kitchen trying to make as many neuron friendly foods as possible (yes, I said Neuron...that is not a typo so stop thinking bad thoughts - wow, I think I've read too may Jeny Wren posts), when a thought smacks me up-side the head.

Hey, what is Jeny's favorite food? we could make a bunch and place it in different locations to see if we can attract her attention. She found that TNT easy enough after all. 

Chocolate cake maybe?

Death by Chocolate Magic Cookie Bars - Spend With Pennies

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Jul-27

"Mmmmmmmmmmmm cake........"

I snap back to attention.  I have more important things to attend to right now.

I need to find the key to Tarquin's shackles, wake him and convince him that we are, for now, on the same side.

I also need a new outfit.

All three must be possible, even in the bowels of the Earth.

Logically, there must be a guard station somewhere, if our kidnappers are, in fact guards. 

A glance back at my former makeshift cell.  I can see the damage done to the cave ceiling in order to create the blockade.

That was not a cell, it was my tomb.  No one was coming to feed me, or take me to my trial.  My trial was over, and I was sentenced to death.

My eyes are adjusting with more clarity now.  Several of these passageways lead to small chambers that are dead ends.  They are all cells.  Just waiting for doors that have no keys.

There are around half a dozen.  I wonder if one is planned for Tarquin.  If so, why?  He's annoying, as all ultra PC warriors are, but not a threat to anyone.

I mull over my cunning plans.

A) I wait for whoever is coming to seal Tarquin in his tomb and overpower them... with what?  I have fire, rocks... and a stalactite I could fashion into a sword.  Or is it stalagmite? Either way I'd be destroying a million years of nature's work just to stab a guy I don't know.  I think my Karma would be in the toilet after that.

B) I see if I can find a base of operations and steal the keys, free Tarquin and sneak away... In a cave I do not know, with multiple passageways and no idea which direction I should even start heading...

"Plan C, it is!"

I drop the torch close to Tarquin and pick up a sturdy rock.  The light of the flame dances upon the piton holding the chain.  I sigh.  This will certainly get someone's attention.  With a heaving breath I smash the piton as hard as I can.

It is driven further into the rock.

"AW COME ON!"

This may take a while.

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Jul-27

Everyone is badgering me!

“Shall we do this? Shall we do that? You must do that or the other!”

The others have no conception of the complexity of this problem.

Dear stupid Jen who has a penchant for young eligible guards Jen has been captured and may at this moment be molested by nefarious thugs

And we don’t know the who, why or where the problem comes from.

I now have some resplendent fireworks but where and when to set them off. This  is in the second phase of my Cunning Plan. I WANT Jen to do it for maximum effect as she seems to be the demolition expert.

So first we find her.

Charlie’s offer of using her Ghost Pup pet is a good one providing our proposed lines of communication work.

But where to start? Jen’s disappearance has left no trail to follow.

“Just down by a lake” I am told by my pets and then they clam up citing Evil Magic.

My broom has also distanced itself. Surely it must know where she is – just not saying for the same reason. That broom is close to extinction at this moment of time and my mentor will no doubt berate me for its demise.

I go over to the Tea Room table where we have spread out a large map of the Realm and begin to discuss between us the probabilities of each nearby lake as the source of Jen’s incarceration.

Cap’n Bob is somewhat emasculated as he is fuming at the lack of communication with Jen’s amulet. He is now sure she is using as an anklet bracelet for decoration!

I have an idea!

When Jen was eventually allowed into Kayley to restock her wardrobe, she was VERY thorough!

Not just buying a dress and some panties but all the accessories to which she is normally accustomed. In fact she nearly gave the Cap’n apoplexy whe he saw the charge on his credit card!

Now she also favours a particular brand of perfume which I call Eau de les Sewers, and she bought a large bottle of that.

Ghost Pup may be a ghost, but it still has all the faculties of a canine. Including its sense of smell.

We can but try to use this.

Charlie and I will stay in the Tea Room with the map and send the pup on its mission round to each lake in turn to locate the particular aromatic source we are looking for. It can communicate with Charlie and she communicates with me.

And I can sip hong cha in comfort while it is doing so.

Once we have located Jen then the next phase of my Cunning Plan will come into force.

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Jul-27

“OK then! Is everyone agreed and on board with my idea?”

I look across at Charlie and she nods.

“Ghost Pup has just reached the first lake here”, pointing to a mass of water on the map, which is the nearest one to where Jen disappeared and Tarquin dived into the snow drift.

Nothing!

From that point, the little ghost dog moved out in ever increasing circles sniffing out the possibilities of locating Jen.

Nothing.

By now I could see some very quizzical pairs of eyes looking at me and knowing what they meant!

My Cunning Plan to use the pong of the perfume is a useless waste of time!

By this time, our canine ‘sniffer outer’ has reached what could best described as the intersection between three Kingdoms: Bone, Northern and Trojan on the map.

And I see Charlie immediately perk up and become alert. She is obviously listening to something being told to her internally. At the same time her two immortal feline guardians wrap themselves around her legs in a tight protective mode and seem to glare at ME!

Obviously they are not happy with something being said.

“Ghost Pup has found beneath her the source of the scent that you have given it. But it comes from below ground and is very faint.

“I need to track it more accurately and to do it from there, but evidently my pet has picked VERY strong sensations of evil, particularly to our kind – humans.

“My lions do not want me to go. They say that it is YOUR problem and that I should stay at home!

“But here is the spot”.

She picks up a pen to mark on the map where the little dog is.

So it is up to me once more to overcome the worst that the evils of this Realm can thrust upon us all despite what the Cap'n thinks!

Well that is, if Cap’n Bob lets me!

“I have my magical ‘get me home’ boots on if I get into difficulties and my mentor will surely not let me go if they are ineffective through any evil in the area.

“At the least, let me reconnoitre the area?”

And hope that there are not the Famous Last Words of a stupid Cunning Plan!

SharpEye1

From: SharpEye1

Jul-27

HEY, MISS KATT......PUP AND I WOULD LOVE A BIG PIECE OF THAT SCRUMPTIOUS CAKE, WITH A TALL GLASS OF ICE COLD MILK!  IT'S JUST THE ADRENALIN RUSH WE NEED SO WE CAN GO PRACTICE MY WARRIOR SKILLS SOME MORE.  NOW THAT I KNOW TARQUIN IS HERE, I WANT TO DOUBLE UP MY TRAINING EVERY CHANCE I GET.

WHO KNOWS?!  WE MIGHT EVEN GET CALLED IN TO HELP WITH JENNY WREN'S RESCUE ONCE PTG AND CHARLIE HEAR FROM GHOST PUP.  THAT IS.....IF CAP IS OK WITH IT! LOL

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