I should be used to this prone position that I currently find myself to be in but I am not. I notice at close quarters that one of the Cp’n s boots is in need of urgent repair!

I lurch and scrabble to my feet being unable to greet him with the slightest of salutes!

I think that I am due for some leave! All this saving the Realm is getting a bit strenuous!

Well I accomplished my mission with that excellent Cunning Plan.

Unfortunately I did not succeed in bringing our feisty partner back to the Tea Room.

I concede that she did have little opportunity to do so, but she does seem to be encumbered or enamoured with a certain very beefy guard who seems to speak with an ancient form of English

A well! I suppose that I must go and retrieve her again ----- and am “brought up short” by the Cap’n

“YOU are not going anywhere!. You are going back to your room with Angel and Pup. First you report on what has happened and then get it written down in triplicate so that History will be the judge of our actions!

“Angel and Pup --- guard over him now that you are  warriors and make sure he stays put and does as he is told. I am NOT having my 2ic behaving as a Spoilt brat!”

I sniff at the insult and even Angel looks slightly shocked at the Capn’s tone.

He must have reached the “end of his tether” wherever that may be.

I realize he is in communication with the Queen but I have been and still am in the first line of defense and not tucked away in some fairy Realm!

After all I have just accomplished. He would get nowhere without my expertise and Cunning Plans!

Okay PTG drink this and just relax you have been through a wringer and did your part well and it is not your fault our wayward  Jen is bucking us all and maybe as you said ole cupid struck her and her mind has gone to pudding.

My only question who is this guy because from your description there is no way in hell that is Tarquin because Tarquin is around 5 foot 6 about 180  due to all that rich food and drink he consumed when he was editor and chief of The Cloud City Times and because he was always on his butt he has a secretary spread and a pot belly so wash board abs ????? um nope

Oh yah and going bald because Angel said he used to pull his hair out when yelling at her.

And no way can ne walk never mind run 10 feet with out gasping for air so I have to know who in hell this guy is that Jen is all gaga over.

PTG has almost finished what he thought was his favorite tea but was Opel;s nighty nite powder he will have a good sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling like a new man and my 2inc.

Where he got the idea Angel and Pup would be looking after him when I sent them to the open field?? poor boy is confused but I did give him a choice between his pet crow or Charlie lol

Wisely he picked his crow.

On to my cottage to read that book on TLOD something is drawing to it and could very be I will finf some answers.

That wish keeper thinks I'm faster getting items when my life is on the line then when her life is on the line. Uhhhh no, it's because the items you needed were requested at like 10 PM and I was feeling tired and us masterbugs need something called SLEEP.

While the items I needed were requested at 9 AM and the only obsatcle in the way were those @#$% cooldown periods!

-Meliora

I settle down with a hot pot of tea Opel made for me and warns me not to drink all of it or I will have no room for supper

LOL as if that has ever been a problem.

Angel and PUP drop by and fill me in on there training in the open field under the close eyes of Frost and Snow.

If the way they look gives any meaning to the work out they had it was a good one.

Sounds like it was a great work out and I gave them a few new things for tomorrow and sent them to take a hot shower for sore muscles and said see you at supper.

I return to my book and start to read and learn all I can about our new enemy >>>> well not new really just now we know who is behind all this evil and who is boss over Murk Isabella and the rest of the evil <<<<<<

Okay The Lord Of Darkness or as I shortened it to **TLOD** lets see who you really are 

BLOODY RIGHT, I AM GOING TO THE BARN.   WHEN YOU GET IT FIGURED OUT THEN CALL ME.   PHONY MUSHROOMS WITH OPENINGS.   DON'T THINK THAT WILL FOOL ANYONE.   BUT IT IS YOUR IDEA YOU FIGURE IT OUT. 

Ya you are right I guess phoney mushroom would stand out like a sore thumb,

What about trees???

They are several around that are basically dead but still standing do you think the workers could reinforce the inside with out doing any more damage to them or the surrounding ground?

I am just trying to find a solution that will work for everyone and prevent the evil from getting to us via the tunnels .

I am by no means an engineer but a soldier who has fought many a battle but never one such as we are up against now.

So maybe I should leave in the hands of your Gnomes who know the tunnels and have been used by them for generations.

You know them better then I or any one else so if you could get there ideas and suggestions I am sure they have a way and will be well payed.

NO NOT DEAD TREES.  TO MAY OF THE LOCALS CUT THEM FOR WOOD TO HEAT AND COOK WITH.  THE BEST I THINK WOULD BE TO BUILD SMALL STONE  WAREHOUSES.  STORAGE IN THE FRONT A MOVABLE  SLIDING BARN STYLE BARN DOOR IN THE BACK WITH ASSORTED HOOKS FOR HANGING THINGS TO MAKE IT LOOK NATURAL.  ANYONE GOING IN WOULD THINK IT ONLY STORAGE NOT KNOWING WHAT WAS BEHIND THE WOOD PANEL.  

NOW WILL THAT DO IT FOR YOU.   COME ON MAN THINK.  LIKE A LOCAL NOT A WARRIOR. 

Well craponacracker I guess I am an idjit at times fake mushrooms and dead trees we all need for fire wood.

I am scrambling to find a solution but this is not my area of expertise but your Gnomes and the workers know the tunnels like the back of there hands.

One thing is for sure we have to make sure no one is in those tunnels that all are safe,

My eyes are heavy and when I look at my pocket watch it is 3 am 

I should take a cat nap and by that time PTG will be up bright eyes and bushy tailed and ready to make another attempt in rescuing Jen,

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

I feel like it has taken a week to get it all done.

Perhaps it has.

Shirley is actually rather pleasant company.

His people are related to the Gnomes, but don't really interact with them much.

Their primary industry is supplying the Castle with water from the deep wells.

Some of the springs are hot, so that water is piped up to the taverns and wash rooms through an ingenious interconnection of conduits, powered by geysers.

Tarquin is elated at the completely carbon neutral efficiency.

"Right". Shirley stops at the last junction of passages.  "Now this is going to be a delicate negotiation."

I notice his demeanour has changed significantly.  He appears quite frightened.

"We are not the only ones who live in the caves.  The monsters you are about to meet-"

"How dare you?!" Tarquin is in a blistering rage.  "To say such a derogatory thing about any species is a show of ignorance and-"

Shirley sighs and pinches the bridge of his long, hooked nose with his spindly fingers. "Jen..."

I slap Tarquin.

"Thank you.  As I was saying.  The... creatures  you are about to meet do not suffer fools gladly."

I guess Tarquin is about to die.  I wonder if I will care.

 "Please show them as much respect as you can, and no sudden movements."

Shirley takes a deep breath and walks ahead into the cavern.

My first reaction is pleasant surprise.  I was not expecting this level of beauty.  Delicate strands of iridescent silk line the walls and floors.  They glow with their own energy, rendering our torches unnecessary.  I notice Shirley extinguishing his in a barrel by the chamber entrance. 

I do the same.  The light is duller, but my eyes soon adjust.

The silk strands look to go on forever down the cave passage and up into the tunnels.  The light is quite brighter there.  I don't know if the silk is stored there, or if it is being used to barricade the tunnel entrance.

I reach a tentative hand out to the nearest strand, careful not to break it.

My fears were unwarranted, as it is immensely strong.

I wonder if I can get some for a pair of boots.

The movement came with such precise timing that I could only attribute it to my touch. Oops. "Sorry" I whisper to Shirley.

Whatever is coming is big.

And hairy.

And leggy...

The massive spider rears up on it's back six legs, it's pincers clicking with fervent agitation.  It must be ten times my height at this stage.

Tarquin screams.  "Monster!" and passes out.

Shirley jumps behind the barrel of torches.

All I can do is stand there, grinning from ear to ear.

"OUTSTANDING!!"

My head is splitting from hours of bent over the book about TLOD and who he really is or was and why he is the way he is ,

There is a knock on my door and it is Miss Katt ---- come is please , what can I do for you Miss Katt?

Well sorry to disturb you but I need to know how long I need to leave the pig in the brine??

Oh craponacracker I totally forgot the corn roast.

I know you and Opel need plenty of time to set things up and my boys will so what ever you need them to do like build you a pit for Roast Pig Hawain style or a pit that will turn just say the word.

I know we have all been under tremendous stress and I think a corn roast is just the ticket .

Miss Katt leaves with a huge smile boy Opel and her love to cook and bake and this will break the hum drum routine of every day cooking for us to keep us so well fed.

I call Frost **** RIDER **** how do things look ??

All calm on all fronts ---- thank you brave one

I look over to my sword ... no glow no shakes good sign.

I try to shake the sleep stiff neck and headache away seeing I fell asleep reading

I am off to grab a cup of tea before I check on PTG

As I enter the kitchen I find Miss Katt and Opel laughing like two school kids let loose in a candy store.

Good morning again Miss Katt and Opel what has you gring from ear to ear>

Well hush now ya knows why and all will be ready for tomorrow night

I smile  yes we all need this but it is so much work for you both now you hear me loud and clear it is what we love now you get from our kitchen befoe ya face me pan

Okay okay Iam goung.... I head of to PTG;s room and hear soft zzzzzzzzzzz I knock PTG you up???