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Dad just told me he's going to call the Sheriff and throw me out.
Why? Well, we're trying to design a fence or handrails at the top of the dropoff behind this GD carport. I told Dad I would assess the area, and he FORBADE me to do it. I said, I can do it safely, so if you want to watch, come on out with me.
I went out, put a pad on the gravel. got on my knees and easily/safely reached down and cleared out a bunch of 2x2s that he was storing there under a tarp. Most of them are wet and have rot.
Anyway, after pulling them out and seeing there is a GOOD place to sink some poles, put up a fence, I came in and told Dad.
He went out and, of course, didn't say thank you, boo or kiss my ass. What he did say is that HE TOLD ME NOT TO DO IT AND HE WAS GOING TO CALL THE SHERIFF AND HAVE ME REMOVED.
He told me I was NOT to go outside . . . my job is to clean the house. Like I don't do that.
What an ASSHOLE.
Of course, the Sheriff would not remove me. Although I do not have a Rental Agreement (Dad refuses, because the wants to be able to throw me out at his discretion) I have lived at this house for 11 years, receive mail, have DPOA, yadda yadda.
I would LOVE to live elsewhere, have my own life again. He'll have to legally serve me with a 30-Day Notice as is required by Washington State Law.
Good thing most of my stuff is still packed.
Will he actually do this? I doubt it. But when he goes off like this, he usually starts destroying my possessions.
. . . and now it's time to make his lunch. Since he's so full of shit, I'll love to slip in some Ex-Lax, but that would only create ANOTHER mess for ME to clean up.
(Oh, and he doesn't want me to talk on my cell phone, play games on my Computer, I'm NOT allowed visitors, and NOT allowed to talk to the workers)
Oh, crap, he's yelling about something . . . BBL
Dhy, you're a saint.
There is no way I would put up with this for 11 years. My mom is difficult too but mostly sleeps - so not that much potential for messing things up. Even with my health (which delivered the next nasty turn just after the last has been taken care of) I can still cope with it and she has been wonderful for almost 90 years so I have to cut her some slack.
Your dad on the other hand... Do take care of yourself and make sure you have a live of your own. And a good one as that. You deserve it.
All the best.
And this is not just been 11 years. He's been this way his entire life. A couple of times in my 30's Dad 'helped' me move. HE THREW OUT SEVERAL BOXES OF MY CLOTHES. I didn't notice it the first time until later, and he said it was a mistake.
After the 2nd time he 'helped' me move, he tossed more of my stuff. That was the last time I let him get his hands on my stuff . . . until I moved in to care for Mom back in 2012.
He was neglecting Mom sooooo badly, I just couldn't take it. I didn't have time to put my stuff in storage. Gave away most of it to the other Tenants who were THRILLED, and moved in immediately. Took me only 1 day to clear out my apartment, cleaned it spotless, got my deposit back. The Manager cried . . . she really didn't want me to leave.
So, what I have left is precious. I know it's just stuff, but goddammit, it's MY stuff.
Did I mention that not only was I maintaining my own apartment, running to the Folks to cook, clean, shop, care for Mom . . . I was also running over to Dad's twin brother's house and doing the same for him and my (favorite) Cousin Bruce who was crippled up so badly with Rheumatoid Arthritis.
No rest for the wicked, right?
Mom, Uncle Bob and Bruce all passed away in a 2ish year span. Now I'm left with Dear Old Dad. He's just too mean to leave this mortal coil.
I care for him in honor of my Dear Mom.
If it wasn't for all my WONDERFUL FRIENDS here in this Forum, I would absolutely lose my mind.
AAAACCCK ~ now I only have 10 minutes to make Dad's breakfast. Then the shit show begins for the day . . . *sigh*
XXOO ~ Dhyani
I can attest to how he treats her. I have been on the phone with her many times with him having a go at her. But to her credit she can give back what he dishes out.
Dyhani your one tough cookie and thats why I love ya.
Yeah, sorry you have to bear witness to that crap so often.
To prepare for the day, I listen to this EVERY morning. It has become my Anthem:
I got sick of watching this music video on YouTube and having the last verse (one of my favourite verses in any song) censored out. So I decided I'd fix that...
The lyrics are pretty fast, so here they are:
Oh my, Dhyani - what can I say? I am laughing as I'm typing, but I know it's not funny for you. There is a special place in Heaven for you. I hear a lot of love for Dear Old Dad in your posts. You must be a special kind of gal.
Oh please Katie, do not send her to heaven! 1st of all she knows hell inside out and, 2nd we all know how boring it might be to sit around and listen to harp music all day long!
Hey how about ear plugs for you, when his talking you could just keep nodding your head like you agree with him. maybe he will get confused and shut up....
just keep nodding your head like you agree with him.
My mother is 95 and this is what I finally decided I had to do with her. That way I can avoid a lot of arguments with her. I won't go into how demanding, domineering, etc. she is ... because there's really no point. Fortunately, I don't live with her. She lives alone because that's the way she wants it ... but then complains that no one comes to visit. Believe me you don't want to visit someone like her. When she first moved back to KY from FL (6 years ago) I went at least twice a week even though I live 30 miles away. Now I visit every other week ... when I take her groceries to her.
I sure hope, when I lose the few brain cells I have left, that I don't turn into my Father.
We had a relatively pleasant day today ~ I actually got Dad to go for TWO 10 minute walks. And he hugged me several times, said I LOVE YOU, SWEETHEART, and THANKED me several times. Who is this man, and where did Dad go?
We will see what tomorrow brings . . .
Darlene, I feel for ya. I must be a glutton for punishment.
XXOO ~ Dhyani