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PTG

 piece of croc. skin. But there is no time to admire this. I must get on and brew something special. 

Now where was I?  

Ah! Yes. Stir…. Stir - with me incanting: 

[i]“For a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble." 

Page 5

Jenifer

I awake to a strange squawk, wet and dishevelled. 

My ammunition has scattered. A drunken lunatic has fallen on top of my last scorpion. His flatulence is frankly alarming - probably due to the missing leather on the seat of his chaps, but I roll him for pink pills. I find feathers, dust bunnies, empty potion vials, a half chewed spell book and several pieces of Poppet. I cry - no pills. 

Then I realise we're not in the belfry. 

My position has been compromised. It has turned into the interior of a paddy wagon! I knew things changed around the Castle, but this is certainly extreme. Two official looking guards are in the front seat. I don't recall being sent on quests by these two people! They must be impostors! 

There must be something left in my ammunition bag. Ahhh, of course, the most devastating weapon is snoozing at the bottom. 

I pull out my last slingshot, hidden securely in my official siege knickers. I load my ammunition and let fly! 

The squirrel lands smack in the back of the driver's head. The wagon careens off the bridge and onto the ice. Skaters scream and flee. But my weapon is not done yet. He jumps from one guard's face to another, all over the dashboard then down to the floor and up the left trouser leg of the driver. 

In the commotion I wrench open the back doors. Freedom! 

There is honour in war, so I grab Randy by the leg and fling him out onto the ice. He skittles several skaters. I probably should have turned him over - those bottomless chaps will cause some serious freezer burn! 

As the wagon twirls towards the Castle vicinity I tuck and roll, landing at the foot of some screaming children. 

They calm down and offer to sell me stuff. 

PTG

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Randy

I throw the paper down and stomp on it and my mind explodes BOOOOOOOOOOOM making dat bomb wiff da dead pirate look like a firecracker,,,... I am flaming hot now making what lill ice thingies hanging on what was left of me britches drop like fly's so hot I no longer feel da pain in me rump roast at the otter end of moi. 
Craponacracker iffin I kin only stop me toofies from clancking together I could speak as I watch PTG pick up and read d a paper and watch her face go a rainbow of colours, I shake my head yes yes yes the boheiminie had dar nerve to write and air mail to me,, I hear da wicked one say a dress A DRESS you you you *** carefull der Cap she is still a lady **** ya right me head shouts she be deminted I tell ya off her cotton pickin rocker,,I will make her a dress oh ya betcha I will ,, signals to PTG look here as I grab my broken Sai and draw a dress in da snow *AN IRON MADIEN *** wiff chains flowing like water making it look like an ocupussy   I do not have to walk cause me shaking so bad me body moves by it;s self, PYG try;s her best to cover me poor raw inflamed swollen backside, to cold to be    mubble mubble mubble head bobs to da Tavern trying to get PTG to understand sign lingo is no easy task but I thunk she be catching on 
You trying to tell me you piece of raw meat that you want me to take you to Salty's??? head bobs like mad YES YES YES der be me honey rum der and Salty will heat it nice and warm for us den I kin thaw out the we can plan our attack on that nut case up der eyes fly up to da Belfry,,,eyes plead PLEASE understand me woman and get me to Salty's like yesterday....................PTG grabs a pair of skates from one of the kids and trys to put dem on me,,, you gone and lost it woman you really want me to put dem on???a wicked grin comes over PTGs face rot rouh I in BIG twouble,,,,,,

PTG

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PTG

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RANDY

I look at Frost with WTF are those two on?? 
Dem der smidjits thunk you shoot flames ? when you shoot frezzin streams of Ice and call you Frosty?????   
Rot Rouh me hind neithers are out and aboot agin , *&^%$%^&*()_ who took me cover $%^&*()$%^&*() dis thin never goin heal right  grabs alcohuelouie and bends over ,, grits toofies and pours HOLY MOTHER OF @#$%^&*()_ DAT BURNSSSSSSSSSSSSS 
Me backside takes on a life of its own and me thuncks me heart beat drops to da otter end of me body BOOM BOOM BOOM THROB THROB :IT'S ALIVE,,,,,, 
All da sudden every thin goes dead silent as I look up to see dem two nut cases in a death stare down,,, rot rouh dis goin be good as I swipe Monkey Do Do ovein me shoulder 
 whohoooooooo I kin make me a pile of coins here ,, attention ya all I is a betin PTG will win dis one and to proff it I slap 1,000,000 coins on da Dice Table any takers??? 
I chant GO PTG GO PTG GO PTG wipe da floor wiff her hide and send her back wiff her pack of chewed up dead useless critters ,,, Send her where ?? hey not fer me to decide I is an idjit remember  and accordin to yerself useless as T**S on a Bull

PTG

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PTG

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RANDY

OMG iffin I was not already loonie tune ,around da bend , over da top, lost in a mind field , these two are goin be da death of me. 
What in da name of Sam H**L Castel you been you, cause from what I is ahearin you two 
seem to have taken da road over to da forrest over der and done lost not only yer way but yer minds to boot. 
Oh wait de on da way to Centaur Palace wohooooo I would love to see der Faces iffin they come me friend and commarde in arms da Cetaur King , his Queen , and there lovely daughter ** what a warrior she is wowwwwww** 
Shakes head ,, back to present ,,,Salty I needs a drink dis going to be a long and hard thin for these two to understand,,ducks as a chattering squirel goes whizzing by,GRRRRRRRRRR stop dat Jenifer or I will go get da Griffin , he be much bigger then he was when he first landed at da Castel Gates,, I am sure he could leave da cloud of smoke that looks like Murk holding that * NOT DER Crystal Ball,,,and you thunk I mubble HA have you ever heard him?? 
What's it goin take fer you two to remember?? oh wait what am I saying one thunck Frost is a snowman wiff wings and is love wiff her and the other PTG thuncks I is nutso,, true but besides dat,, Hummm maybe iffin I writes it down and they kin stop der eyeballs from twirling around in der head like da dice on da table,,Saltys gots a pencil and paper handy?? NO NO ya idjit not a mug P-a-p-e-r P-e-n-c-i-l 
oh how I wish Arabella would turn ole Chamberbutt back to dat cute lill purpel bat but leave Henry alone to find his way back to beeing an architectie and not a Troll,,I grab a stick and start writing in da dirt floor,, now pay attention you two,,,, Once upon a time ,,,

DEARABBI

what does a body have to do to get into the hospital? What does fur cones have to do with it and how many? I have checked every nook and cranny and can't fine it. Please help me!!!

oh, one more thing. What is a triple header?

AEG

This is a fictional story that playingthegame and eastendteddy (Randy) started........ Randy is soon to go into the real hospital shortly for a scheduled procedure (I really don't think you will want to go there) so that was incorporated into their fictional story. Fir cones is just a random item mentioned from the Christmas decorations to maintain an MC theme for the thread. 

Triple Header means that Randy achieved 3 items with one final task....(1) He finished the Castle Challenge (he thought he would be in the hospital before it was over)....(2)....finishing the Castle Challenge gave him a new avatar........(3) That avatar he got from finishing the Castle Challenge also helped him meet the Master of Disguise achievement.....so he got the Werewolf (wolfie) avatar. 

Don't take this thread seriously......it will hurt your brain (at least it does mine) to try to figure it all out.

RANDY

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PTG

PAGE 8

JENIFER

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PTG

And we need some 101 strategy with planning maps, schedules and above all luck.  
Rootles around the sparse vegetation and finds one bedraggled 

RANDY

Throws a bucket at at Jenifer and a HOW TO 101 list fer dummies sheeesh iffin I kin reads it I am sure ya kin. 
And keep yer cotton pickin mitts offin me  grabs octopussie thunckin it be me bagpipes, arggggggggggggggggggggg women always movin me stuff around,,, 
Now where did ya hide me Pipe da one wiff da Wolfie on it?? grabs cloak on da druncken sailor ,,, bones go crashing to da floor opppppsie PTG needs yer broom here ,, 
Um Santa could ya put down da dice and move over just a smigggggin , nope not der,,, 
Spy's Salty tip over three mugs,, GRRRRRRRRRRRR dis be no time to play what's under da mug you drunckin gallot and iffin you hide me pipe under der ya be in fur it. 
Waves me Sai around like da maniac I is and screams where is me pipe? kin no thunck wiff out it,,,,,,,, and lost me story line Good Gravy,,,,,,,,, 

JENIFER