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My Dad is gone   Messages from the Heart

Started 4/12/21 by WeeSam (WeesamNZ); 3321 views.

From: katiek2


I'm so sorry for the loss of your father.  I've seen a couple of really nice poems lately about missing someone after they've gone to the light.  Basically they say "grieve that you miss me, but let the memories of our time together keep your heart whole".  Prayers and gentle hugs coming your way.


In reply toRe: msg 11
WeeSam (WeesamNZ)

From: WeeSam (WeesamNZ)


Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. It has been both a difficult and an interesting time. I have barely had time to think about what it all means to me as most of my efforts are going in to supporting mum through it all. She is being very brave and stoic and carrying on, but every now and then she just breaks down. Then she pulls herself back together and on she goes. 

The family (both Dad's side and Mum's side) will start arriving here from tomorrow and I may be able to find some time to myself and leave mum in their care for a little while. 

The interesting bit is how family and people you haven't heard from in years are suddenly phoning to tell you how sorry they are, and what my dad meant to them. A cousin I haven't seen in 30 years rung out of the blue to tell mum that Dad had always been his favourite uncle because he had always had time for the kids, to play and teach music, and muck around with cars. Other people have also been phoning to tell Mum how much Dad had touched their lives, in ways Dad never knew. A young man at the funeral home asked to be able to assist with dad's funeral care because he knew dad when he as just a kid, and had been taught to play an instrument by him. He said dad was the only one who had patience with the no-talent kids, and never gave up on them, and he wanted to be able to give back to him, even if it was only the care he could give to him in death. Another man who had worked with dad many years ago had since started a catering business, and when we asked if he could cater the funeral he broke down in tears and said how honoured he'd be to help, and how much he had respected dad. 

Anyway, sorry for the big ramble. 


From: misstracy22


So sorry, your father has died. Good that it was peacefully and at home with your mum. You ramble away, there are so many friends here who will be there for you and your family. As we are in many ways an extended family. 
Your father has touched so many people that you are discovering now. They will help with the healing, to allow you to grieve. With memories and words you share. With tears and laughter, with the knowledge he is safe by his gods side. You will keep him in his special place in your heart for eternity. When you have your space, allow the tears to fall. They are your heart and soul talking to you about how much you love him.

Hugs, Tracy cryrose

WeeSam, it is never, ever rambling to share such wonderful outpourings of love for your dad.  It's so wonderful how he touched so many lives in ways you and he didn't even realize.  Nothing will ever fill the void your dad's passing created, but it must be truly heartwarming to hear those heartfelt messages.  You must be so proud of your dad.  He sounds like a terrific human being who made a difference in this world.  That's pretty special.  All my thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

I am sorry to hear of your loss.  Your Dad was & still is a big part of your life.  He sounds like a terrific bloke and, from what you have written, he had a big influence on others lives.  He will always be with you and you will find yourself remembering odd bits and pieces at times when you need to.  My Dad has been gone for over 30 years and I often hear his counsel in my head when I am facing a strange or difficult situation or decision.  

Feel free to rant or ramble at any time.


From: Honeyphan


Your father sounds as if he was an amazing, kindhearted person, and you have many lovely memories to hold fast to. That is wonderful.

I understand what you mean about people coming out of the woodwork - when my father died a few years ago, people I never heard of before came to his funeral and introduced themselves to us afterward. Some were from his days as a young man - with memories to share and add to our own trove of them, of how he helped them and they could always depend on him or just funny and fun bits we never knew about him.

I'm glad you got to experience that kind of thing too.

I am also glad to hear that your mother isn't bottling it in but is allowing herself to cry in bouts - weeping is all a part of healing. <3


From: Playbelle



My heart aches for you during this hard time. I'm thankful for your "ramble"; your Dad sounds wonderful and his story deserves telling.  We all need reminding that there are kind and generous people in the world and I'm so glad that friends and family are reaching out and sharing their memories of how he made their lives better.  Much love to you.  blue_heart


From: mistybear


Just saw this. Sorry that you lost your dad. Today I lost my dad. He has been in the hospital since the 5th of Oct he had been complaining of a headache and stomach pain, so doc said to take to get a cat scan to rule out stroke since he had headache foe a few days. He had a pacemaker, kidney function was low, had Parkinson and dementia. So he is no longer suffering but it is still hard


From: Randytb


Dear Weesam

I am now just seeing this and my heart breaks for your lose of you Dad yet knowing what a wonderful Dad he was  to  you and the kindness he showed others  is something to be proud of

My deepest sympathy and prayers to you my friend and vent as much as you want we are all here for you.

Sending you special healing hugs  from my family to yours.


WeeSam (WeesamNZ)

From: WeeSam (WeesamNZ)


Thank you for your kind words. It has not been the best of years, has it? I know in my head that he is better off because he is no longer suffering and in almost constant pain, but my heart still misses him everyday.