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I look up and watch as my pet owl flutters in and perches on a nearby branch.
When it sees me watching it, it pulls one of its wings over its head as if to hide itself from view.
I also hear my crow explaining that its mission was a failure as it had been out manoeuvred by Roo.
At the same time through my amulet I hear Roo cackling
“You simpleton! Do you think that such a basic trick can overcome me in any way
“While you fret and moan about your useless Cunning Plans, I am eating a large dish of fresh fruit from one of the street vendors in the Realm.”
I get the sensation of that she-devil lolling around in the sunshine on a bench as she eats her way through a large dish of berries.
“I did not put all of our takings on your table and am now enjoying the spending of some of it.”
I am totally deflated as I have run out of ideas.
All of a sudden there is a very familiar scream and the shout
“Geroff me you oaf! And be careful of those pikes!
And she screams as her beloved cloak is pulled from her small frame.
“You think you can cheat the Masters of this Realm, do you?
“Giving us a false Champion pet, which has since disappeared?
“Well a nice cold cell in our prison wing will make you reflect on your mistake!”
I can sense Roo frantically trying to get to her cloak with its stash of weaponry but a burly guard has carried it off.
More embarrassingly another even larger guard is now carrying her off over his shoulder in a most unladylike manner!
Roo is captured once more and I am nowhere nearby to save her, even if I wanted to because of the tricks she has just played on me!
Ghost Pup Nose and I are doing what looks like a quite evening walk around the Bone Kingdoms streets making sure to nod a good evening to anyone we pass,
I tell Nose to pay very close attention to the side streets and to make sure he aims the pearls in that direction and to make on like a dog would ,, meaning sniff everything in sight.
I hear a AHUM behind me and I turn to see a huge burly guard leaning against a wall and smoking the foulest ordour I have smelt.
I say good evening sir very pleasant evening we are having tonight.
All I get is HUMPH and hear if that rat you are walking does any markings you will be made to clean it up and eat it whahahaha then I will ram my spear through and though ** not jis words but that is what he meant*
I talk to Nose easy boy he is a giant numb-nuts and you know I would not let anything hurt you ,,,, Nose stops growling and wags his tail but I can see he would LOVE to rip out that idjiots throat.
Not to worry sir my dog here is well trained and we are just out for an after dinner walk,,, have you been to the Circus yet I ask,,, if not here take these tickets and take your family and enjoy some free rides , food and games.
He rips them from my hand NO FAMILY but my friends will come and off he waddles what an idjiots I follow and see an ally way coming up this is exactly what I wanted ,,, as we near the ally way I rush the oaf pulling him into the ally way far enough not to be seen and as I run my Sai from ear to ear I say this is Nose .
I throw him down the sewer but not before I retrieve the tickets.
Nose greets me all excited and jumping on my leg and barking ,, I pet him told you no harm will come to you not on my watch ,, but Nose does not calm down but pulls me back to where we were and stands in front of that wall ???
What is it boy as I run my hand over the bricks,,,, Ghost Pup is on the other side? ok gotcha this is a secret doorway .
I run my hands all over the bricks until I fell a loose brick but before I can check it out my Amulet goes nuts and I hear the screams from Roo and PTG's laugh .
@@#$%%^&*()_)(*&^%$#@#$%^&*(in hell have they done now ..... @#$%%^&**&^ can not leave them alone for two seconds .
My face burns with rage as I hear Roo scream and her being taken away , $%^&*(*&^% she got nabbed and her cloak has been to ,,,
I AM GOING TO KILL THOSE TWO come on Pup Nose we have to get back ASAP
Just as I get a feeling of satisfaction at Roo’s extreme discomfiture I get a throbbing sensation in the amulet around my neck and hear an incandescent Cap’n Bob calling me all the names under the sun!
“But it was NOT MY FAULT!”
I shout back at him.
“She wandered off on her own having sold off all my possessions. What was I to do? Just sit here and accept the situation?
“I did NOTHING to aid her capture!
“But I do have a Cunning Plan!”
The Cap’n calms down
“I am returning and YOU just sit and wait for me!”
But I think, my Cunning Plan requires IMMEDIATE attention and implementation.
I go to find Charlie.
“Can one of your sniffer dogs seek out where on the outside of the Kingdom walls Roo is being incarcerated?
“It does not have to come inside the building or get in danger”
She picks up a small brown dog and quietly talks to it.
It yaps and furiously wags it tail, and then jumps in front of me
It is ready to go!
I collect a large sack and fill it with yet more of my precious gold, heave it over my arm and follow the dog out and up the path to the side of the Kingdom walls. There the dog stops by a small door and yaps while wagging its tail.
After turning three times it then heads off back to the camp.
Resplendent in full regalia as the Circus Ringmaster I enter through the door and find myself in a small office. At the rear are barred doors – this place is obviously the city lockup.
”My good man, I wish to speak with your sergeant please.
“I have proposition that may interest him!”
Grumbling at being disturbed the guard shouts to someone in the back office: “Visitor!” and then slumps back in his chair.
A small very fat guard appears and demands to know my business.
“You have one of my staff imprisoned here for fraud and I wish to pay her fine for release into my custody.
“She will not do it again as I will change her circus act to something less contentious!
“How big is her fine and how much for YOUR trouble in expediting this problem?”
The little man’s eyes become slits as he is calculating.
“$100,000 fine AND $250,000 for my trouble”
I delve into my sack and produce the heaps of golden coins.
The little man is positively drooling!
“We have a deal!
“Bring the prisoner!”
(to be continued!)
A burly warder drags out Roo who is still screaming and shouting about false imprisonment and mistreatment of prisoners.
The guard sergeant mutters
“She is more trouble than she is worth
“Get her out of here before I change my mind and add other charges such as breach of the peace!”
I smile my best insincerest smile at Roo
“You are now free to go as I have paid your fine.”
She sniffs at me and calms down.
“OK! then I’ll get my clothes and we are off”
She turns to the guard and asks with a smile
“Can I have my cloak please?”
The guard leers back
“It is not here. It was taken to the Sorcerer after we captured you. He wants to inspect it when he has the time to do so!”
The change in Roo's demeanour is quite dramatic.
She yells at us all
“I AM NOT LEAVING WITHOUT MY CLOTHES AND YOU CANT MAKE ME!”
The guard replies
“I am NOT having you back in MY cells so go now before we get physical and throw you out!”
Roo attacks the guard saying “I WON’T GO!”
Exasperated the guard bundles her up and throws her diminutive frame over his shoulder and asks me
“Where do you want her?”
I think for a moment and a flash of inspiration comes
“Back to our circus please.
“I have just the place for her!”
Within minutes Roo is dumped inside the empty lion’s cage where she sets up a cacophony of screaming and swearing as what she is going to do to me when she can!
Within minutes she attracts a crowd and I begin to sell tickets, quickly amassing some gold to offset her fine that I had paid!
She becomes our most popular show: THE MAD ASSASSIN!
We need leaflets!
I try to explain to her that I still have my Cunning Plan to get her cloak back but she is not listening
But just then the Cap’n reappears and my world falls in!
I stomp into the hell that my two 1 st and 2 Nd in command have created but stop dead in my tracks as I see ROO screaming cursing like a trooper and rendering death threat to PTG it is funny but not iffin ya knows whats I mean ...
PTG selling tickets to this farce???
My blood boils and I scream at the top of my lungs (((( ENOUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)))) OUT EVERY ONE OUT THE SHOW IS OVER .
#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*())(*&^%$#@#$%^&()_)(*&^%$#@!#$%^&*( I am so mad at these two I can barely speak Roo opens her mouth and I give her a look from hell and say DO NOT EVEN and YOU what in hell did you do ???
PTG trys to explain it was NOT his fault but I shut him up to.
I DO NOT CARE WHO STARTED THIS IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED,,,, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE DANGER YOU PUT US ALL IN?
ALL BECAUSE YOU ARE LIKE TWO KIDS IN A SAND BOX THAT CAN NOT BE TRUSTED NOR LEFT ALONE FOR 5 FRIGGIN MINUTES
But but I got Roo back says PTG ,,,, really ?? what you want a friggin medal for that ??
WHAT ABOUT THE CLOAK??????? HOW IN HELL CAN YOU GET IT BACK ???
HOW IN HELL CAN YOU STOP THE Sorcerer FROM FINDING A LOT MORE THEN HE EXPECTED AND BLOWS OUR COVER KILLS THE MISSION THE RESCUE AND WE ALL END UP IN THE DUNGEON WITH OUT SAVING JACOBS FAMILY == WE CAN'T DO THAT NOW IF WE ARE THROWN IN THE SLAMMER WITH THEM NOW CAN WE/
I am sooooooooooooooooooo beside myself with anger and disappointment that my head is going to explode.
Think man think .....
PTG starts to speak and I stop him dead NOW IS NOT THE TIME unless you have a ** CUNNING PLAN THAT WILL WORK AND I SAY THAT WITH A GRAIN OF SAND IN MY MOUTH*
Do you even know where this Sorcerer is ??
What is your brilliant plan to find him and get the cloak back BEFORE he examines it?
I sit down and hang my head in my hands I have such a splitting headache and can't think straight .
Opel comes over to me with a cup and says here Cap drink this it will take away that headace I look at the black liquid yuck looks like mud,,,, drink it she says in a stern voice it is an old Jamaican cure now bottoms up and drink it all or it will not work.
I raise the cup and the smell churns my stomach lord it smells like one of this uggy Ogres,,, Before I can protest Opel tips the cup and forces the drink down my gullet pinching my nose as she does so.
I am going to HURL
See not so bad as she leaves chuckling ... headache be gone in a few minutes..
What an horrid taste in my mouth but headache is almost gone.
Bless my lill Jamaican witch doctor lol
Okay you two lets hear this story or should I say horror story from the beginning and what you plan on fixing it
They both start to speak and I yell STOP one at a time JHC can you not get one thing right??
Okay PTG my 2 ND in command that title hanging on by a string you first and I shoot a Waring look at Roo *** NOT AWRD TILL HE IS DONE<<<<<<<<<<<<
” Well as the guard was counting out the gold, I gave him to set you free, he mentioned that your clothes (including the cloak) had been placed in the magical effects store room on the corner of the Creepy Street.
“That door has been warded with several spells and only the Bone Kingdom magicians can enter so it is regarded as being very secure.
“We can’t get in that way.
“The building is single storey, so we won’t be able to enter from a floor above it.
“But looking at the views sent back from your travels in the Realm it appears that there is an adjacent alleyway to this street.
“I have worked out that each of the rooms with doors at the front have a window at the rear.
“Now we can widen this particular store room’s window by opening it in our ‘traditional style’
“In addition, we place small explosives by all of the windows in the alley way and set them all off at the same time. This will confuse our purpose to anyone nearby.
“You Roo can arrange this, I think?
“Whilst there is all this mayhem and dust, I nip inside the store room, grab the clothes.
“We can also use some fog effects that you have in your bag.
“I then use my special shoes to transport me back to the Tea Room immediately before the guards or magicians turn up or find out what we have done.
“My only problem is to locate where in the room your clothes are stored.
As I am siting still fuming and ready to burst , I listen to PTG'S latest hair brain *** CUNNING PLAN**** to retrieve Roo's Clothes and and that troublesome Cloak.
I can not believe what he is saying //// blow up ,,, fog effects ??? I mean really ??? where are there grey matter and DO NOT BLAME MY DUST BUNNIES ON THIS you two are out to out do each other and be declared the winner and go around saying I GOTCHA,,,,
Why not just BLOW UP THE WHOLE DAMN AREA ?? I mean we come up with this plan to be discreet ,,,bring no unwanted attention to us and our mission,,get Jacob's family back safe and sound and gather all the info we can because you know it will be needed in the further,,,
Instead of the plan working out and we get in get Jacob's family and out like lill mice NO you two logger heads are going to get us all killed or imprisoned .
Now I was going to sit back and let you two go at it and figure this mess out yourselves and when you got caught ***** and you know that would happen if I allow PTG'S plan and ROO any where near explosions **** but that will never happen .
WHY you ask ?? okay answer this how would it be explained = certain windows being blow out in the building where ROO's clothes and Cloak are??? or all the windows in that ally way?? and nothing else??
Do you not think ( slap my head what am I saying those two think out side of I WILL GET YOU AND YOUR LILL DOG WOHAHAHA ) that if you carried out this hair brained scheme of yours and you did get ROOs clothes and cloak back and got away that would end there we would be safe and that those idjiots as stupid as they are would NOT report to the Wizard or to the Sorcerer? and that they would figure it out in a heart beat and that would be game over for us .
No we need a fail safe plan and I think I have it,,,,
You two are grounded under house arrest until that cloak is returned .
Angel I need you to get back to Hailey's and find me a Cloak that looks exactly like ROO's make sure it is an exact duplicate pockets and all and fill them with girlie stuff you know make up , brush ,comb, hairpins, body stuff you gals use throw in a few candies or what ever else you think of to make it look normal .
Now second part ,,, Charlie and I will go back with the Lions and make our way to Creepy Street yes will need Nose and Ghost Pup .
I hope Anabel is still in the area she could really be a big help to us seeing they all know her and she could vouch for us and verify the pass I have.
My plan is to get to where ROO's cloths and cloak are and as Charlie and Nose distract the citizens by putting on a small show I will slip around to the back ally and and Ghost Pup will let Nose know what window and what room I am to get into,
Angel get back and shows me the cloak .. I check it out and it looks perfect but I ask Roo so will this pass??
She growls yes ,, good now calm the hell down you will have yours back soon enough now boys please escort PTG and Roo to there rooms and stay right there till we get back understood?
They know by the look on my face and my tone I mean business and they know what I can do if my orders are not followed to the letter.
*** continued ****
Okay Charlie grab the Lions Nose and Ghost Pup and please put this in your bag.
She folds the Cloak up and puts it in the bag.
Off we go I grab the hand cart with a stuffed deer and a bundle of hay on it as get on our way ,,, Charlie looks at me and says Hungry there Cap?
No Charlie you will understand why later lets go.
We wind our way stopping in a few places so the word can spread .
We make it to The Bone Kingdom this place gives me the creeps and makes the Lions uneasy,,,, Charlie talks to them and they calm down ,,
We pass and I show my pass and hand out flyers until we get to our objective and there is Amabel ... I signal her shhhhh as she is about to say my name ,,, the girl is smart she nods slightly and says welcome you are The Lion Tamer and partner we have heard so much about I am so looking forward to your show.
Thank you you will not be disappointed may I ask you to show us where a good place to set up ?
With pleasure and she takes us to the center of the village ,,,, Nose takes off he is on the trail.
We pretend to check out the area and wait for Nose to return,,,,
He is back in no time jumping on Charlie she looks at me and nods Ghost found the room and is waiting for you.
My heart beats faster easy boy we are going to pull this one off.
May I put this out of the way ? it has a few props for the show,,,, But of course Anabel says and I follow Nose to the ally way and leave the cart there.
This place will be perfect Miss ? Anabel is my name sir and you I bow Leo ma'am she laughs Leo the Lion Tamer cute and this is my assistant Carlen and here we have Nose who is part of the act he rides the Lions and does tricks on there backs,, our group has cause a stir as villagers join us.
Perfect I am thinking Charlie nods yes.
Miss Anabel may we give you a small sample of what you will see tonight??
Oh yes please so Charlie and I start a small sample and as she gets Nose to do his tricks on Sugar and Spice I slip away and look for the window seeing I can not see nor hear Ghost Pup there must be a sign ... I see paw prints on the ground and on the wall under the window I need to get into to GOOD BOY NOSE >
I take my Sai and jimmy the latch and climb in ok now where Nose has left me a trail I know he made and I follow them down the hall to the room I need.
Now we where told this room was guarded with magic that only a few could enter well lets see as I gingerly touch the knob ,it turns and I push the door open ,,, not even locked magic me arse.
I spy Roo's clothes in a pile on the floor *** she would have a fit if she seen this,,, *** I gather the Cloak and slip out making sure I leave her clothes and the fake Cloak.
I make it out and remove any signs and place the Cloak inside the stuffed Deer and leave it's head out and return to the cheering crowd.
Ladies and Gentlemen I am sorry to have to break this up but the Lions are past there feeding time and I do not want any accidents so I have deer here to feed them.
Hearing this that the Lions are hungry they all back away and let us pass .
Thank you so very much here please pass this out and we will be back later for the whole show.
My heart is pumping and legs a tad shaky as I see Charlie's is to so we high tail it back to our temp camp.
I high five Charlie and huge Sugar and Spice and Nose extra treats for you tonight .
We enter the main tent and I tell the boys out let the two kids out ,,,, The boys fold back the flaps that act as a room and I see PTG and ROO siting on there cots sulking.
Okay you two front and center,,,,
Roo sulks as she walks towards me but then see's her Cloak and screams and runs to me ON NO NOT SO FAST AS I SWIRL THE CLOAK LIKE A CLOTH IN FRONT OF AN ANGRY BULL
Sit both of you NOW,,,, now here are the rules Roo PTG you start acting as my second and third in command till this mission is over UNDERSTOOD?
Then when we have completed this mission and get back home to The Tea Room you two can go back to your sand boxes and do what ever you want to each other as long as we are not caught in the middle UNDERSTOOD?
I hand Roo her Cloak and PTG his boots ( the ones he did not even know I took off his feet LOL)
Opel Miss Katt whats for supper I am STARVED
WAY TO GO, AT LEAST SOMEONE IS THINKING. YES, THE CATS ARE HUNGRY, BUT NOT FOR DEAD MEAT. THEY WANT THE REAL THING. BUT THE DEAD MEAT WILL DO TILL WE GET TO WHERE THEY CAN HUNT.
snort..snuffflleee...sssnnoorrtt! Is you waking up now Mrs Fletcher?......Salty is that you? Yup! It's sure is me alright...and I gotta let you know how worried we were about you Mrs Fletcher. Why in "Double Blue Blazes" did you go and start working in the Tea Room's Gardens when you knew that Doc Poppet specifically explained that after losing that amount of blood you had to leave thing alone for at least a month or two!......Are you mad at me Salty?........You bet I am Mrs Fletcher and when the Captain, PTG, and the Rest of the Special Room Gang found about what ya did, they'll want'a take turns booting your hind end around the Tea Room!.......Oh dear me salty...I was just trying to help Opal with the meals she's been supplying Captain Randy's troops and things got a wee bit out of hand I guess...."Out of hand ya say?"....YOUR 75 YEARS OLD Mrs Fletcher not 35!!!! Please don't shout Salty, I can hear you just find.......OK...You promise to stay put until Doc releases you alright?...... I promise Salty......But Salty, could you please let Captain Randy and Opal when they get back that those "Pesky Dust Bunnies" have sent their Nasty Cousins "Havoc & Destroy" Bunnies into the Special Rooms Gardens and when done there they will continue on to the other Gardens around the different Realms! Well now...The Captain and the others have quite a lot on their plate right now...but as soon as their Scrimmage with the "Bone King" is finished they will get right on it....."Hee, hee! I can just see them now Opal with her Mighty Rolling Pin and PTG with his Powerful Broom whacking those Bad Bunnies left and right!!!! ZZZZZ...ZZZZZ......Sweet Dreams Mrs Fletcher...Salty whispers as he softly walks away......