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As I am still wearing my boots under the chain mail, I can immediately return to the Tea Room.
Unfortunately, before I can announce my presence
MY head vibrates through my helmet as I see stars and cascading rainbows in my head
I am then poleaxed by a jab to the ribs and several female forms jump on me
With one eye open I see the soaring arc of a large rolling pin about to deliver another blow to my top knot and scream
“NNNOOOOOOO!!!!! It is me PTG - your 2ic in disguise!”
The blow is softened but still packs a punch as one small muscular lady completes her delivery!
“OOOUUCCCCHHHH! STOP IT OPAL! STOP RIGHT NOW!”
I am assisted to my feet and a very dented helmet removed from my sore head.
Before I can say anything, a beaming Roo Roo places a cup of steaming hong cha in front on me with the words
“Will you come here often in your new disguise?”
“This is no time to be frivolous! We are all in terrible danger!”
I open my amulet and tell the Cap’n and the others what I have discovered.
All I get in reply is a stream of unprintable oaths and an underlying worry about his faithful reptilian partners.
I interrupt with the magic words that soothe him
“But I have a Cunning Plan!
“In my present disguise, if I can get the dents out of my helmet, I will go to the Bone Kingdom and ask to be presented to the Bone King.
“I’ll give him the Sorcerer’s plan for his downfall and hope that he can thwart them
“After all, he is the CIC of these special guards!
“We cannot prevail if these schemes are not stopped and your dragons may suffer a terrible defeat!”
I wait for his reply as a dutiful 2ic
For about 2 seconds!
And then using my broom as a charabanc I am soaring down to the ground by the Bone Kingdom main gate
The guard on the gate are astonished to see my sudden appearance, but when they see my shield’s insignia they snap to attention with fear in their eyes.
Oh dear! I must have waylaid one of the elite guards in the MC Hospital Wing!
This could be to my advantage in reaching the King himself as that was one of my main worries.
I stride into the Castle and demand to know where the King is at this moment.
The ordinary guards prostrate themselves before me and to my astonishment so do some of my fellow ornamented guards as well!
I must have poleaxed an officer in the Hospital wing.
The King is at practice with his fire arrows deliberately missing some poor starving prisoners
I enter the chamber, tap my spear on my shield and prostrate myself before him.
“I have unwelcome news for you most serene majesty!
“I am one of your true and loyal guards who cannot be tainted by any promises of riches if I do not follow my oath to you.
“But there are others around us who have been promised riches beyond belief by your Sorcerer, if they now follow his commands and not yours.
“I can reveal all that he intends, and you can question me in any shape or form that you chose to establish the veracity of my words!”
I can see the glitter in his eyes as he toys around with aiming some of those fire arrows in my direction.
But he stops and demands to know all that I know
Which I then tell him.
There is an incandescent fog surrounding him which grows thicker as I speak until he disappears into incandescent rage at the perfidy of his Sorcerer.
At last he calms down and call an even more highly polished suit of armour to kneel before him.
Within seconds I feel the power pass between the two of them as the King’s commands are relayed.
He utters the words: “Death or obey, they have no other choice!”
A strange mist envelopes the guard before him.
He then turns to me, quaking in my boots in case my true identity is discovered.
“Off you go my man, you will be well-rewarded for your loyalty!”
I keep myself prostrated on the ground while the other two leave. I did not want the highly polished officer to see my face as he would not recognise it!
When they had left I ordered my magical boots to return me to the Tea Room and relay all that has happened to the Cap’n.
There is a loud banging of a door and I whirl around to see a gaurde? standing there ,,, I am quick to attak and knocked him out.
WHT !@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$# how in hell did he get past the look outs and our defenses??
I ripe the helmet of his head and ohcraponacracker it's PTG ???
Now what the hell is he or was he up to and why is he in that outfit he trying to give me a flipping heart attack??
Opel bring me a pitcher of water to wake my doorknob up.
I dose him with the whole thing and he jumps up to a sitting position coughing sputtering and spewing water all over me.
PTG WHAT THE HELL MAN
EXPLAIN YOURSELF BEFORE I BONK YOU AGAIN.
I manage to get him up and that is no easy task seeing he is a big guy and all that cake and tea does not help,, how he got that Armour on is baffling bigger question how is he going to get it off with a can opener?
PTG sputters at me WHT YOU TRYING TO DROWN ME??? AND I CAME BACK WITH GOOD NEWS .
Oh you did , did you well I would suggest you get out of the wet suit or you will be rusted in there for years or I could cut you out with a blow torch
He walks away and is already starting to squeak and I yell need some oil there second in command??
In the mean time I call every one to the dinning hall to hear this good news from PTG.
Even Roo came out of hiding to hear it.
Opel served us tea, coffee and small cakes till PTG gets back.
My sweet Mrs Fletcher Tea and small cakes are just tease until PTG get cleaned up and gets back here and seeing it is hours before dinner time and you have been doing so well and getting stronger so you just tell Opel what you want to make and when and she will be happy to help you if you need and Miss Katt to.
So if you have something special in mind for tonight's dinner the go for it dear heart.
That is one department I keep my nose out of ** The Kitchen ** this ole goat knows better,,, if I have a hankering for something I will ask Opel earli in the day as not to put to much on her so dear Lady the Kitchen is off limits to all but You Miss Katt and Opel so do not be afraid to speak up give some ideas and suggestions okay?
LOL oh I watch the lill Pup all the time the lill scamp.
Thank you so much you sweet old Codger you!........Family is always welcomed here in the kitchen for it can be at times the coziest place in the Tea Room bar none....But for now I gotta ask you Captain Randy dear to "Scoot" on outta here so we three Cooks can put our hands and noggins together and plan a feast for everyone this evening...."Pssst....." ( I'll be bringing out a nice mug of Honey Rum shortly.).......Pleaseee take that little Devil Dog Pub with you ok? Oh! Did you see how I secretly disarmed that little wee thingy She had hidden under the cake cover?....Sigh!....She's been pining something fierce for Snow and the other Dragons too........
Not to worry my sweet Lady I know better to scoot when told to lol.\
Tell you what I will take our lill scamp to see Snow and frost who should be back from there hunt by now,, that will keep her out of trouble for a bit until it is time to eat ... my mouth watering now just thinking about what you three marvels will serve us tonight.
*** RUMBLE GERRRRRRGILLE RUMBEL see my stomach agrees.
Thank you dear heart I will enjoy a mug of Honey Rum and be off with Pup you know what to do if you need us.
I quickly give Opel Miss Katt and Mrs. Fletcher a hug and a peck on the cheek before I am scooted out of the kitchen by Opel's raised rolling pin and her saying ** Oh you get out of here and let us work * now scat...
I chuckle and scoot before I get bonked .
TIME ENOUGH TO CHECK ON THE ZOO BEFORE SUPPER, I LEAVE THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR, THE COOKS NO LONGER EVEN NOTICE MY COMING AND GOING THROUGH THAT DOOR. I STOP OUTSIDE AND THINK TO GRIFF. HUNT NOW MY FRIEND. YOU HAVE HAD A BUSY DAY. I AM SURE WE WILL NEED YOUR WATCHFULNESS AGAIN SOON.
OFF GRIFF GOES. I ASK THE BIG CATS DO YOU NEED TO HUNT YOU HAVE NOT DONE SO SINCE THE DAY WE RETURNED. SPICE PEELS OFF TO HUNT AND SUGAR AND I CONTINUE TO THE BARN. I CHECK THE CATTERY THEIR BOXES HAVE BEEN CLEANED BOWLS FULL. SAME WITH THE DOGS. BABY AND BEAU HAVE WATER AND HAY. I GET APPLES FROM THE TREAT BOX FOR THEM. A BANANA FOR JL HE IS GETTING BIGGER BY THE DAY.
I CUT AN APPLE IN QUARTERS FOR DOOGIE AND GOLDIE. THEN GET MY BRUSHES AND CURRY COMB. TIME FOR A GOOD BRUSH YOU TWO.
I SPEND SOME TIME GROOMING THEM THEN SPICE COMES BACK AND SUGAR LEAVE.
ON TO BABY AND BEAU. BRUSH THEM DOWN. YOU TWO NEED A BATH. TOMORROW WILL BE SOON ENOUGH.
OF COURSE THAT DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT IT IS A QUITE DAY.
THEN I SPEND SOME TIME BRUSHING THE DOGS AND CATS.
WHEN I AM FINISHED BOTH CATS ARE WITH ME. NOW I NEED TO GET CLEANED UP. DON'T THINK THE REST OF OUR GROUP WOULD WANT TO EAT WITH SOMEONE WHO SMELLS OF THE ZOO, AND COVERED IN DIFFERENT KINDS OF HAIR AND FUR.
I LEAVE MY DIRTY BOOT BY THE BACK DOOR AND HEAD FOR MY ROOM TO CLEAN UP.
Safe back in the Tea Room I ask someone to get me some oil so I can ease myself out of this too small suit of armour.
I am still a bit offended at Cap’n Bob’s words that tea and cake has made me too fat to fit into it.
I am just rather large and always have been!
With them all sitting there with bated breath waiting on my every word, the Cap’n growls
“Now explain yourself!”
I have such a lot to say that I am silent for a moment gathering my thoughts together.
To be rudely interrupted by Roo Roo who exclaims “Oh! Get on with it. We don’t have all day!”
They all turn back to greet Charlie who has just returned smelling like a mature farmyard!
THAT IS IT!
Enough is enough! I have a successful Cunning Plan (I hope) and I just get mocked or ignored for my efforts.
Time to show them and so I casually point to the window, without saying anything.
They look out and with gasps of horror see an unfolding tide of armoured Bone Kingdom guards advancing over the moat and up towards the Castle.
The Cap’n immediately goes into “attack mode” and calls on Frosty and more dragons from between to help defeat this new foe.
“NNOOOOO!!! You must not bring them here!”
“They will be in mortal danger from an ancient foe which the evil Sorcerer has called upon to defeat them!”
The Cap’n’s shoulders slump as he digests all that I am telling them through my amulet.
We watch as a dark cloud appears over this sea of enemy soldiers.
From its centre a gigantic skull wraith appears which spews forth lightning around the troops.
And then comes a thunder like rumble which shakes the Castle to its foundations.
“DEATH OR OBEY!”
On looking up, the soldiers below it fall to the ground and prostrate themselves.
Their King has appeared in person!
We see the Sorcerer above on the battlements and is screaming at them
“Get up and fight. I have given you gold and riches beyond count to do this job!”
Once more: “DEATH OR OBEY!”
And this time in the vanguard of the army a shower of fire arrows is cast down in front of them which then turns white hot and boils the men inside their metal armour!
As if it was a single entity the entire field of battle is almost emptied as the Bone Kingdom army flees back into their Realm.
This leaves the remnants of our unworthy CEO’s guards behind and various unworldly looking creatures that Murk has sent to ‘assist’
I turn back to the Cap’n and grin, still well-oiled and just in my ‘smalls’
“Now it is safe for you and YOUR army!
I sip a well-deserved cup of hong cha and bite into a delicious ‘religieuse’!