Jenifer (Zarknorph)

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Ready for The Special Room (latest)   Oh the Absurdity!

Started 4/18/18 by PTG (anotherPTG); 271681 views.
Randytb

From: Randytb

Feb-24

Holding Jenny behind me and my Sai pointed at PTG with a mad man's crazed look in his eyes and mouth frothing.

I scream JENN STOP MOVING LIKE A WIGGEL WORM do you really want PTG or what /who ever this is to grab you?

PTG jumps for Jenny I jump for PTG and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMM  we collide mid air.

I managed to hit him right in the solar plexus so we all heard a very loud WHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPand @#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^% from me as I wack my head on a chair.

Instinct takes over and I grab PTG in a scissor lock *** I have steel for legs ya know***** and every time PTG moved I squeezed .

CAP CAP CAP STOP IT YOU IDJIT YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK NE IN HALF

Now that sounds more like our PTG so I ease up abit yet say I will not let you go until we clear this mess up and to make sure he understands my Sai is at his throat and Pup has her sword aimed at his heart.

To make matters worse JENNY Saunders over and picks up the cake plate looks at it runs her tongue over the edge getting a mouth full then turns the plate towards PTG want some??? and SPLAT right in his kisser. he spurts @#$%^&* and trys to grab her but my legs stop him from moving and breathing .

I ease off when I see him turn blue.

JENNY laughs and turns bends over lifts up a few pot holders and says hey look PTG the MOON us out.

I yell JENNY for Gods sake stop teasing him.

WE better get some answers soon I do not know how long I can hold him he is not our soft lill cushion belly PTG we all know there is strength behind his moves

Okay PTG talk it the only way I will let you up .

What about these crystal's tell me all you know,,,

Jen take off that necklace just to be on the safe side that it is true what PTG has said so far,,, she starts to protest so I say I will replace it twice over now please for all our sakes hand it to Opel.

Opel take it in here hand that has been covered in a cloth I have never seen and she softly chants as she covers it

Okay PTG the floor is yours === literally

  • Edited February 24, 2020 2:07 pm  by  Randytb

I HAD BEEN WATCHING THE GOINGS ON FROM THE SAFETY OF MY CHAIR IN THE CORNER.   I HAD BEEN WORKING ON THE DRAWINGS FOR A HARNESS FOR GRIFF THAT WOULD MAKE IT SAFE FOR HIM TO CARRY SOMEONE NOT USED TO RIDING.   I WAS ABOUT TO ASK THE CAP IF HE THOUGHT IT SAFE FOR ME TO GO TO TOWN TO SEE THE TANNER TO GET THE STRAPS MADE AND TO CLOUD CITY TO GET THE BLACKSMITH TO MAKE THE FASTENINGS.  GUESS THAT WILL HAVE TO WAIT.  SUGAR AND SPICE WERE STILL ON ALERT.  NOT SURE IF THEY WOULD HAVE TO TAKE DOWN PTG IF HE TRIED TO BOLT.   THE LEG IRON WOULD SLOW HIM DOWN,  BUT WHERE DID THAT SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH COME FROM HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO RIP OF THAT HUGGY JACKET THE WAY HE DID.  SOMETHING WAS STILL NOT RIGHT WITH HIM. 

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Feb-25

I am thoroughly annoyed.

Not only have I lost my bling, but I've been punched in the face, called a Harpie and accused of mooning the catatonic.

This will not do.

I hurl the last of the cake at Randy and prepare to fly out of the window in a huff.

I slip on a detached oven mitt and am back on the floor.

PTG laughs, so I shove some dynamite in his mouth.

I preferred him when he was comatose and Randy when he was in incomprehensible, flatulent idiot.

Well, not the flatulent part... though he could power a small auto-mobile if I remember correctly.

I scratch my head.  PTG said he saved me from something.  Did he?

I can't remember anything after eating the spaghetti.

Or was it lasagna?

I sigh.  I miss my animals.

I wonder how the Critter Liberation Taskforce Offering Rehabilitation In Safety is doing.

"I need to check my CLITORIS!" I cry, then jump out the window.

It appears I cannot fly.

"Aw nuts."

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Feb-25

All of a sudden I FEEL CALMER.

In fact I feel drained of energy as though I have been fighting a battle against enormous odds.

Is it a coincidence that this happened the moment Opel covered those cursed crystals?

I MUST find out where Jen got them from as they are the SOURCE of the evil surrounding us.

Was it Kayley’s when she did her shopping for “trinkets”?

I manage to turn my head around a little to escape the scissor lock encasing it by the Capn's limbs.

Just in time to see Jen fly out of the window!

STOP HER!!!!!

But it is too late and she has gone AWOL

It is a coincidence that at this precise moment a sudden gust filling her oven mitts tosses her UPWARDS into the air towards the top steeple of the Castle.

“We must save her!

Let me up NOWWWWWW!!!”

I climb rather unsteadily to my feet, totter to the wall and find the aperture that gets me to the HOS Repository.

There, I bundle together an assortment of umbrellas and a kite, return to the Tea Room and toss them out of the window.

The same wind updraft carries the kite and umbrellas like a lance in the direction of the rear end of Jen

I smile!

This will be painful even though it will save her.

I have never heard her describe her Critters Liberation movement  in this way before when at the podium.

In fact, language she uses on the umbrellas' contact would make a caveman blush into his didgeridoo!

She opens two of the largest umbrellas and begins to float gently down back to the Tea Room (but with no full moon as a back-drop!).

“Now get inside and tell us WHERE you got that necklace!”

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Feb-26

I remove the umbrella carefully.

"OK, so no to flying."

I should start a list.

“Now get inside and tell us WHERE you got that necklace!”

"I don't know!" I shout back.  "I guess I found it in the House of Schpadoinkle workshop."

Randytb

From: Randytb

Feb-27

After letting PTG up to help Jen who is now hanging on for dear life to one of the Castles steppels and watch PTG go POOF through a wall then POOF he is back with umbrellas and a kite.

Hold on there PTG let her hang there for a bit maybe teach her a lesson in throwing good cake at me and calling me and air bag full of chit and incomprehensible, .....I should show her how much of a  flatulent idiot I can be,

I could get Opel to cook me up some cabbage and beans then tie Jen to a chair and do a FART dance around her lol

But that would not be fair to the others in The Tea Rooms nor my poor belly.

Okay PTG let her have it ,,,, man the mouth on her would make Murk blush as she floats back into the Tea Room.

Okay you gutter mouth WHERE did you get that necklace??

I slap my head as she says she does not remember ,,, oh just great we are facing extermination and you do not remember?

Come on Jen clear your dust bunnies of *THE CLAP  YOUR CLITORIS AND THE HOUSE OF  Schpadoinkle .

Sheesh yelling so much I am losing my voice.

Man I need a drink.

Jenifer (Zarknorph)
Host

From: Jenifer (Zarknorph)

Feb-28

"You're the one who pointed out I was wearing it!"

I'm tempted to shove the umbrella where the sun don't shine.  But, in Randy's case, that's a fairly large circle of the Earth beneath his ample frame.

"If you want me to cooperate, then you should be nicer to me!"

"I'm awful to everyone!" Randy retorts.

"Fair point."  I shrug.  "Look, all I remember was heading to my couture workshop to run up this little number.  I don't even remember putting the necklace ON!"  I think.  Hard. "Ow!" 

"Cake?"

"No more cake for her!" 

"I... have NO memory of putting it on." The dawning realization comes over me.

"Well!  Useless as ever, I see!"

I decide to take a wild guess as to the centre of where the sun don't shine and lodge the umbrella firmly up Randy's undercarriage.  "You're not listening to me, you idjit!!  When I say I have NO memory of putting it on, I mean I NEVER put it on!  In this reality or anything I can remember from the one before."

Randy wrestles with the umbrella and it pops open.  "Oh!  THAT'S gonna need stitches!"

"That means that the necklace, whatever it is, appeared while I was in interdimensional transit."

PTG (anotherPTG)

From: PTG (anotherPTG)

Feb-28

What Jen is bellowing out to the Cap’n slowly sinks into my poor hurting head.

Somehow the jewels in the necklace were picked up while she was either in the other Realm when looking for Grim, or between the Realms when travelling back to ours.

Now the critical question comes to my mind

Where have all the OTHER stones come from that have been piled up in heaps by our enemies?

I look towards Opel who seems to know far more than she is letting on!

She had covered the necklace and also passed incantations over it.

Why?

Randytb

From: Randytb

Feb-28

I let out my breath I was holding and slowly looked over my shoulder to the end of the umbrella Jen tried to ram up mu neither land and find the sun.

Jen Jen Jen you loonie toonie woman you ,, here as I hand her to bent umbrella you have lost yer marbels as well as your memory ,, you don't remeber these beautiful pants ??? 

The one PTG'S fairy godmother gave me for Christmas??

The ones that CAN NOT BE TORN RIPPED OR DESTROYED??

All you did was bend a very good umbrella .

I grab her by the ear and sit her down,,,, ouch ouch ouch ya big baboon you idjit let go that hurts not as much as it will iffin ya deno stop wiggling like a worm in a hot pan.

Now settle down and think go way back to when you went high tailing it after Grim.

Can you retrace your steps?

Something pulls my attention away from Jen to PTG,,,, why is he staring a hole through Opel"s hand where she has the necklace covered in that cloth and softly chanting.

@@#$%^&*()_+_)(*&^%$#$%^&*() I can not think ,,,, I need answers from Jen yet something about Opel's actions are off.

Dare I leave Jen to go speak to Opel?? 

I think not she will go poof in a heart beat.

Yet I need to talk to PTG and Opel.

Just then Jen makes a grab for the cake plate on the table even if it is almost gone from her throwing it at PTG and me,, and she says I am mean sheesh,

She forgets all the times she has tried to blow me up .. threw me out of the airships ,, tossed me from a airship into the pound.

Jen Jen I say louder eyes here try to focus where did you get the necklace and are there any more???

WELL THE TEA ROOM IS AS BACK TO NORMAL AS IT EVER IS WHEN JEN AND PTG ARE BOTH IN IT.  THE BIG CATS ARE NO LONGER ON ALERT, BUT ARE STILL WEARY,  I HEAD FOR THE KITCHEN I SEE KATT BUSY.  AS I START TO LEAVE.  THEN I REMEMBER I SET MY BAG DOWN AND OPEN IT TAKE OUT THE LARGISH BASKET WITH FRUIT AND VEGGIES AND SET IT ON THE TABLE.  THEN I REMEMBER.  KATT I HAVE A COUPLE OF PAILS OF CRAB AND LOBSTERS DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO SOMETHING TASTY WITH THEM.  

I WAS GOING TO ASK OPAL BUT SHE IS A BIT DISTRACTED.  COULD YOU COME UP WITH SOMETHING VERY TASTY AND SMELLS REALLY GOOD I COULD STICK UNDER THE BLACKSMITH'S NOSE TO WAKE HIM.  I NEED HIM TO CREATE SOME FASTENING FOR A RIDING HARNESS I AM HAVING THE TANNER MAKE FOR GRIFF.  THAT WAY ANYONE CAN RIDE HIM WITHOUT WORRYING THEY WILL FALL OFF.   

PLEASE TELL THE CAP WHERE I AM GOING AND NOT TO WORRY, I WILL BE ON GRIFF AND SUGAR AND SPICE ARE WITH ME.

SHE BUSTLES AROUND THE KITCHEN PUTTING SAVORY MEATS AND BAKED GOOD INTO A BASKET.  WHEN SHE HANDS IT TO ME I STOW IT IN THE BAG AND LEAVE.

PUTTING ON MY BOOTS I CALL TO GRIFF.  IS THERE ANY PROBLEMS COMING OUR WAY.  HE REPLIES NO,  THEN I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TAKE ME TO THE TANNERS IN TOWN.  I HAVE ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD MAKE A RIDING HARNESS FOR YOU.  YOU DO NOT NEED ONE HE REPLIES.  NO BUT IF THE TROUBLE THE CAP IS EXPECTING COMES WE MAY NEED YOU TO CARRY SOMEONE INTO BATTLE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW HOW TO RIDE.  THEY WILL NEED BOTH HANDS FREE TO FIGHT.  SO THE HARNESS WILL BE NECESSARY TO KEEP THEM ON.  

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A SHINY BREAST PLATE TO COVER YOUR FRONT.  AT THE RIGHT ANGLE AND THE SUN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BLIND OUR ENEMIES.  GRIFF LIKED THE IDEA OF THE SHINY BREAST PLATE.  I ASKED SUGAR AND SPICE TO STEP INTO MY BAG TO MAKE THE TRIP TO THE TANNERS.  THEN WE WERE OFF

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