There's not a word that can express my utmost thankfulness to God for all He does in every way for those who love Him and need Him. I think people needy of Him like myself probably just notice His help more often.
Sometimes I look back and thank Him again in every way I believe He prepared for me to also help myself where need be. When I was younger, lots of little things that I naturally loved. Heart soothing things like my loving everything nature anything, and mind soothing things, like loving to read, and loving things that also really helped physically strengthen me a lot; like I had pretty much mastered the elementary school yard jungle gym and what was called monkey bars (horizontal ladder) and even ended up hand stand walking the bars, and later school years volley ball, basket ball, ~loved~ badminton, etc, broad jump, pole vault, ... and especially so loving running short distance track and relay races came in ~really~ handy, as one day I suddenly found that I could outrun mother. lol
bob>WOW you should have been in the olympics! I could out run my older brother which change my life a lot back then. It was the start of me gaining power over myself.
Bob (Bobbylee7) said...
Did your mother ever tell you she was sorry or wrong or something?
No. Years later when the opportunity presented itself I asked her if she was sorry, but her response was asking me what she had to be sorry for.
bob>I can't understand that. It seems to me, I don't know enough to comment about her, but she seems to be very self-centered. Was it all about here? Was she dressing you up nice so she would look good?
She just didn't like me, and that's okay. It's okay not to like people. What isn't okay is not being kind about it. But I've always loved God much more than whatever is not kind, and I believe is why God takes us up toward our overcoming the ways of the world of things with Him, as it is written Jesus has overcome the world and God in Christ is our refuge in and of all things.
bob>Was she jealous of you?
bob>She was trying to be perfect which is another word for insecurity. Never good enough.
"Trying to be perfect". Now that I'm thinking about it, I can think of one thing seemingly perfect enough to her. Edgar Cayce. I haven't thought it through because I wasn't interested at the time, but mother was very interested in and even encouraging about occult type things, like ghost hunts, ouija board, Edgar Cayce's work, fortune telling stuff, witch type books, scary movies, etc, but she never complained about going to church, other than complaining to hurry out.
bob>I never heard of Edgar Cayce, sounds like a sick guy.
wow. It was probably just like you said, "Insecurity". She probably lived more of a hidden insecure life.
Insecurity is fear, ... as if maybe her life intimidated her. But not anymore.
bob>We are honored to hear your story and be lifted by it and by your great strength in the face of all this and the light you have for Christ. Thank you so much!