Bible Topics & Bible Studies -  When Does Life Start? The Pill? (844 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
 
From: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by hostNov-24 6:49 AM 
To: Caryn (haleyC987)  (31 of 63) 
 41438.31 in reply to 41438.29 

No, I was a teen when she told me and already waaay too much info for me, but it did explain a lot.  Obviously, she didn't want me then and she didn't like me after, and nothing changed with her brutality in every way about that.

bob>Any idea why she was like that? 

I don't know if dad was aware of how my life was with mother or not, he traveled on business and mostly home only on weekends - and when he home they out and about most of the time, of which was such a great relief for me and I didn't dare disturb that peacefulness - plus I stayed engaged in extra school activities that kept me out of the house longer and as much as possible - that plus a bunch of friends helped with that a lot.  And when I turned of age (18), I was outta there. :)

bob>You did what was best for you under extremely harsh situations. You can be proud of that. 

But mother was good to me in other ways.  She didn't toss me out of the house and make me homeless, and she did buy beautiful clothes for me on a regular seasonal basis, and took me to a beauty stylist regularly, and to school everyday, and to the dentist and doctor appointments,

bob>That was important for you and I'm glad she did those things. 

and she was an over-the-top immaculate housekeeper, home interior designer and regularly designed beautiful flower gardens that looked like all had just stepped out of a magazine; prepared (3) ~scrumptious~ five course meals daily.  She was a foodie and quite a chef she was and artisan bread and pastry chef - my dad's mother taught her how to cook while he was in the army, Battle of the Bulge.

bob>That was a terrible battle, Hitler's last chance to push for a stalemate and end the war with some face. The soldiers who were caught there were mainly new to the army, and set in the worst battles of the war. 

None of that over-the-top immaculate housekeeping stuff rubbed off on me though - I was tired of having to live in a house in such a way that made it look not lived in - not a thing out of place nor even a wrinkle allowed.  I love a comfortable clutter of books stacked around me wherever I am, ... and was delighted to find a way to bond with dust on stuff for awhile, what with God making us from the dust of the earth and all. :)

bob>Was she like that do to being insecure? Thanks for sharing


 

 
 Reply   Options 

 
From: Caryn (haleyC987)Nov-24 10:02 AM 
To: Ginger (TGANNON) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (32 of 63) 
 41438.32 in reply to 41438.30 

Ginger (TGANNON) said...

Do you think your father knew she didn’t want you?

It doesn't seem so. When dad was home she was kind to me, and when I was around a mix of people with her, like at church or when mom and dad were entertaining at the house, she acted like the saint of saints - very giving and loving to all around her and she acted very kind to me then as well.  I always liked it when people were around her since she was ~always~ on best behavior with me.

Ginger (TGANNON) said...

Do you have any insights to why your mother was the way she was?

No.  She just didn't like me, and it was hard to accept that she didn't because I wanted my mother to at least like me, and the hardest part was not knowing why she didn't. 

But she did live in a state home until shortly after she met dad on a city bus, and that state home was not for orphans - I don't know what that means, just exactly.

But she was on her way to work and dad was on his way home on short military leave (bullet wound), and he was instantly smitten with her.  Dad was ~very~ handsome, soooo handsome he was incomparable to anyone at the time and mother was waaaaaay more beautiful than Rita Hayworth.  As a couple, they were eye-stoppers wherever they went.  Dad married her two weeks later before returning to military duty, and mother lived at dad's home with his parents until WWII was over.

Ginger (TGANNON) said...

I don’t excuse either of my parents behavior as I think they both had free will choices as we all do.  I only think it explains their behavior.

It does explain it, and I am so sorry you had to endure all that.

My dad was never mean to me, and growing up I also had very strong church support, thanks to dad.  I was born in the faith and my Sunday school teacher plopped me on her lap and rocked me until my feet dragged the ground. lol And it was she who taught me as a young child about God in the scripture, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up." (Psa 27:10)   And proved true in every way, utmost thankfully to God, as I should have been dead over five times, at the very least.

Ginger (TGANNON) said...

and that only being because at 18, I left home.

Me too.

And also quickly discovered the world was much bigger than my bedroom, church life and school life, and so overwhelming it was that I quickly sought counseling.  That was when the doctor told me in his 35 years of practice he had never encountered nor heard of a more emotionally, psychologically and physically destructive mother than my own; a textbook case he wanted to make of me, but I wasn't interested.

And all that just waiting on dad to get home while God was taking me up. :)

God is good ~all~ the time.

+

  • Edited November 24, 2021 11:09 am  by  Caryn (haleyC987)
 

 
From: Caryn (haleyC987)Nov-24 11:08 AM 
To: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (33 of 63) 
 41438.33 in reply to 41438.31 

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>Any idea why she was like that? 

No, but see my response to Ginger regarding same.

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>That was a terrible battle, Hitler's last chance to push for a stalemate and end the war with some face. The soldiers who were caught there were mainly new to the army, and set in the worst battles of the war. 

 

My dad was very brave. I have all his wartime memorabilia, and it's quite a collection.

He also had a higher German officer's complete military uniform including Luger that he donated to the museum in his hometown and valued over four million dollars at the time.  Dad wouldn't talk about the war other than to say that he saw everyone dropping dead all around him, but himself.  He also said "home" was the last place he remembered feeling safe, and why he donated the uniform there.

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>Was she like that do to being insecure?

No, she acted like a highly confident, strong willed woman.

Nothing was clean long enough for her though and that was obviously very frustrating for her; lots of anger.  She had a beautiful home, the back of the house was floor to ceiling windows overlooking a beautiful landscape and gorgeous gardens, but she couldn't see it through a tiniest speck of dust on the window, and I could never find that speck of dust to remove it for her.  To me, there was nothing more sad than to be blinded by a speck of dust.

 

  • Edited November 24, 2021 11:28 am  by  Caryn (haleyC987)
 

 
From: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by hostNov-24 5:59 PM 
To: Caryn (haleyC987)  (34 of 63) 
 41438.34 in reply to 41438.33 

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>Any idea why she was like that? 

No, but see my response to Ginger regarding same.

    bob>I did, really amazing how well you turned out!!! Good for you! Did your mother ever tell you she was sorry or wrong or something? 

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>That was a terrible battle, Hitler's last chance to push for a stalemate and end the war with some face. The soldiers who were caught there were mainly new to the army, and set in the worst battles of the war. 

 

My dad was very brave. I have all his wartime memorabilia, and it's quite a collection.

He also had a higher German officer's complete military uniform including Luger that he donated to the museum in his hometown and valued over four million dollars at the time.  Dad wouldn't talk about the war other than to say that he saw everyone dropping dead all around him, but himself.  He also said "home" was the last place he remembered feeling safe, and why he donated the uniform there.

bob>WOW! My uncle had all sorts of Japanese war things when he got back, but their guns and so on were crap, everyone want's the German items.  

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

bob>Was she like that do to being insecure?

No, she acted like a highly confident, strong willed woman.

bob>That's one of the two main ways they hide insecurity, projecting strength or weakness. 

Nothing was clean long enough for her though and that was obviously very frustrating for her; lots of anger.  She had a beautiful home, the back of the house was floor to ceiling windows overlooking a beautiful landscape and gorgeous gardens, but she couldn't see it through a tiniest speck of dust on the window, and I could never find that speck of dust to remove it for her.  To me, there was nothing more sad than to be blinded by a speck of dust.

bob>She was trying to be perfect which is another word for insecurity. Never good enough. 


 

 

 
From: Caryn (haleyC987)Nov-25 1:06 PM 
To: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (35 of 63) 
 41438.35 in reply to 41438.34 

Thank you.

There's not a word that can express my utmost thankfulness to God for all He does in every way for those who love Him and need Him.  I think people needy of Him like myself probably just notice His help more often.

Sometimes I look back and thank Him again in every way I believe He prepared for me to also help myself where need be.  When I was younger, lots of little things that I naturally loved.  Heart soothing things like my loving everything nature anything, and mind soothing things, like loving to read, and loving things that also really helped physically strengthen me a lot; like I had pretty much mastered the elementary school yard jungle gym and what was called monkey bars (horizontal ladder) and even ended up hand stand walking the bars, and later school years volley ball, basket ball, ~loved~ badminton, etc, broad jump, pole vault, ... and especially so loving running short distance track and relay races came in ~really~ handy, as one day I suddenly found that I could outrun mother. lol

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

Did your mother ever tell you she was sorry or wrong or something? 

No. Years later when the opportunity presented itself I asked her if she was sorry, but her response was asking me what she had to be sorry for.

She just didn't like me, and that's okay. It's okay not to like people. What isn't okay is not being kind about it.   But I've always loved God much more than whatever is not kind, and I believe is why God takes us up toward our overcoming the ways of the world of things with Him, as it is written Jesus has overcome the world and God in Christ is our refuge in and of all things.

bob>She was trying to be perfect which is another word for insecurity. Never good enough. 

"Trying to be perfect".  Now that I'm thinking about it, I can think of one thing seemingly perfect enough to her. Edgar Cayce.  I haven't thought it through because I wasn't interested at the time, but mother was very interested in and even encouraging about occult type things, like ghost hunts, ouija board, Edgar Cayce's work, fortune telling stuff, witch type books, scary movies, etc, but she never complained about going to church, other than complaining to hurry out.

wow.  It was probably just like you said, "Insecurity".  She probably lived more of a hidden insecure life.

Insecurity is fear, ... as if maybe her life intimidated her.  But not anymore.

+

 
 
  • Edited November 25, 2021 7:40 pm  by  Caryn (haleyC987)
 

 
From: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by hostNov-29 10:53 AM 
To: Caryn (haleyC987)  (36 of 63) 
 41438.36 in reply to 41438.35 

There's not a word that can express my utmost thankfulness to God for all He does in every way for those who love Him and need Him.  I think people needy of Him like myself probably just notice His help more often.

Sometimes I look back and thank Him again in every way I believe He prepared for me to also help myself where need be.  When I was younger, lots of little things that I naturally loved.  Heart soothing things like my loving everything nature anything, and mind soothing things, like loving to read, and loving things that also really helped physically strengthen me a lot; like I had pretty much mastered the elementary school yard jungle gym and what was called monkey bars (horizontal ladder) and even ended up hand stand walking the bars, and later school years volley ball, basket ball, ~loved~ badminton, etc, broad jump, pole vault, ... and especially so loving running short distance track and relay races came in ~really~ handy, as one day I suddenly found that I could outrun mother. lol

bob>WOW you should have been in the olympics! I could out run my older brother which change my life a lot back then. It was the start of me gaining power over myself. 

Bob (Bobbylee7) said...

Did your mother ever tell you she was sorry or wrong or something? 

No. Years later when the opportunity presented itself I asked her if she was sorry, but her response was asking me what she had to be sorry for.

bob>I can't understand that. It seems to me, I don't know enough to comment about her, but she seems to be very self-centered. Was it all about here? Was she dressing you up nice so she would look good? 

She just didn't like me, and that's okay. It's okay not to like people. What isn't okay is not being kind about it.   But I've always loved God much more than whatever is not kind, and I believe is why God takes us up toward our overcoming the ways of the world of things with Him, as it is written Jesus has overcome the world and God in Christ is our refuge in and of all things.

bob>Was she jealous of you? 

bob>She was trying to be perfect which is another word for insecurity. Never good enough. 

"Trying to be perfect".  Now that I'm thinking about it, I can think of one thing seemingly perfect enough to her. Edgar Cayce.  I haven't thought it through because I wasn't interested at the time, but mother was very interested in and even encouraging about occult type things, like ghost hunts, ouija board, Edgar Cayce's work, fortune telling stuff, witch type books, scary movies, etc, but she never complained about going to church, other than complaining to hurry out.

bob>I never heard of Edgar Cayce, sounds like a sick guy. 

wow.  It was probably just like you said, "Insecurity".  She probably lived more of a hidden insecure life.

Insecurity is fear, ... as if maybe her life intimidated her.  But not anymore.

bob>We are honored to hear your story and be lifted by it and by your great strength in the face of all this and the light you have for Christ. Thank you so much! 


 

 

 
From: Caryn (haleyC987)Nov-29 12:08 PM 
To: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (37 of 63) 
 41438.37 in reply to 41438.36 

:)

I've not understood the whys of her ways either.

But utmost important to remember, here is everyone's strength and not that of our own, in and of all things:

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.  Eph 3:20-21

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?”  Jer 32:27

 

 

 
From: Ginger (TGANNON) DelphiPlus Member IconNov-29 3:31 PM 
To: Caryn (haleyC987)  (38 of 63) 
 41438.38 in reply to 41438.36 

bob>We are honored to hear your story and be lifted by it and by your great strength in the face of all this and the light you have for Christ. Thank you so much! 

Ginger>yes!

 

 

 

     

Psalm119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path"

 

 
From: Caryn (haleyC987)Nov-29 4:10 PM 
To: Ginger (TGANNON) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (39 of 63) 
 41438.39 in reply to 41438.38 

((((lots of hugs!))))

 

 

 
From: Bob (Bobbylee7) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by hostNov-30 10:03 AM 
To: Caryn (haleyC987)  (40 of 63) 
 41438.40 in reply to 41438.37 

I've not understood the whys of her ways either.

bob>We can't understand why someone acts strange, but we can understand and expect that's how they act. 

But utmost important to remember, here is everyone's strength and not that of our own, in and of all things:

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.  Eph 3:20-21

“Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?”  Jer 32:27


 

 

Navigate this discussion: 1-10 11-20 21-30 31-40 41-50 51-60 61-63
Adjust text size:

Welcome, guest! Get more out of Delphi Forums by logging in.

New to Delphi Forums? You can log in with your Facebook, Twitter, or Google account or use the New Member Login option and log in with any email address.

Home | Help | Forums | Chat | Blogs | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service
© Delphi Forums LLC All rights reserved.