Living it! -  Some stuff to amuse non-pagan visitors  (765 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
 
From: aunticee9/30/03 12:24 AM 
To: PhilH (philh1985) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (101 of 111) 
 5706.101 in reply to 5706.100 
i'm so confused!
 
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From: MILPOL9/30/03 5:58 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (102 of 111) 
 5706.102 in reply to 5706.99 
You're right Alanis was God...think George was a cardinal or something. *G*
Spirit Online: Spiritual Community & Information Network

 

 
From: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon Posted by host9/30/03 10:54 PM 
To: MILPOL  (103 of 111) 
 5706.103 in reply to 5706.102 
Of course I am right. I'm a female!
 

 
From: MILPOL10/1/03 6:48 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (104 of 111) 
 5706.104 in reply to 5706.103 
*gack...sputter* whew...glad I didn't just finish eating! lol
Spirit Online: Spiritual Community & Information Network

 

 
From: Lord Arkadius (ArkadiusTime)10/1/03 11:22 PM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (105 of 111) 
 5706.105 in reply to 5706.103 
Somthing I saw in a paper once:

Entire Encyclopedia Britannica For Sale, $1,000 Dollars or best offer. Not Needed anymore, wife knows everything.

Arkadius

 

 
From: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)10/15/03 2:02 AM 
To: Tarty (RAVENGIL) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (106 of 111) 
 5706.106 in reply to 5706.103 
Bill of No Rights

The following is attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

"WE, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal, bedwetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights."

 

 
From: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)12/22/03 10:01 AM 
To: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)  (107 of 111) 
 5706.107 in reply to 5706.1 
T'was the Night Before Christmas
(Modern updated version)
Anon

------------------------------------------

T'was the night before Christmas- Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list

Miserable little brats, ungratefull little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - the reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money

And the kids these days - they are the pits
They want the impossible ... Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls ... Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yo yo's -No request for them
They want computers and robots ... thinking I'm IBM!

If you think that is bad ... just picture this
Try holding those brats ... with their pants full of piss

They pull at my nose - they grab at my beard
And if I don't smile ... the parents think I'm weird

Flying through the air ... dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quiting this job ... there is just no more enjoyment
I'll sit on my ass and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year ... it 'Yule time' for me
Now, part Pagan, part Witch ... a NEW kind of 'FREE'.


Light, laughter, and love!

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit.
Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Dorothy Parker


Witches Have Rites Too!


Witches use broomsticks because they know that nature abhors a vacuum!

Aldyth's feels: The current mood of Lady_Aldyth@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

This universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper!
 

 
From: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)12/22/03 10:05 AM 
To: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)  (108 of 111) 
 5706.108 in reply to 5706.1 
The Eve of Midwinter
Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey
Anon

--------------------------------------------------

'Twas the Eve of Midwinter, and all through the Coven
The witches were cooking strange things in the oven.

There were mugwort frittatas and Dragon's Bllod stew
And Mescaline eggnog and Mandrake fondue.

There were hot mountain oysters and road-kill pate'
And Spotted-Owl kidneys, and wombat flambe'.

The Circle was cast and the herbs had been smoked
In hopes that the Goddess would soon be invoked.

When out by the hot-tub arose such a clatter
I jumped on my broom to see what was the matter.

And what should I see in the Blackberry thorns
But a soaking wet Goddess and eight Unicorns!

"I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus
and a good book", she said. "Christ you bitches are callous.

I came when you called, over all my objections,
and got lost in the woods -- you give LOUSY directions.

You turkeys invoked me, now look ay my dress
My periods late and I've got PMS."

She cursed and she muttered, she looked like a wreck
the Unicorns whimpered and shat on the deck.

We gave her some weed and we got her somegrub
We brought her clean towels and she soaked in the tub.

Then she rose, hot and dripping, and gave us her blessing
And jumped in her chariot without even dressing!

"On Isis! On Eris! Oya and Astarte!
On Ishtar! Inanna! Kali! and Hecate!"

We heard her exclaim as she climbed through the air
"Thank Goddess there's only eight Sabbats a year!"


Light, laughter, and love!

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit.
Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Dorothy Parker


Witches Have Rites Too!


Witches use broomsticks because they know that nature abhors a vacuum!

Aldyth's feels: The current mood of Lady_Aldyth@yahoo.com at www.imood.com

This universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper!
 

New Years Resolutions? What's that?
 
From: Mir (LadyMiranda3) DelphiPlus Member Icon12/29/03 8:55 AM 
To: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)  (109 of 111) 
 5706.109 in reply to 5706.108 
LOL

I love those Aldy!

*hugs*

 

Happy Holidays
and a
Blessed New Year!

 

 
From: Kirsten (koshugi)12/29/03 9:43 PM 
To: Leanan_Sidhe (ALDYTH2)  (110 of 111) 
 5706.110 in reply to 5706.108 
 

 
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