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The other thing that I have noticed is that it will seem like you have friends that disappear...I will retrace my friends several times and a person I am looking for is just not there, but if you type the first 3 letters of their name, they will magically show up!
On your other issue it's true if you go to friends right after signing in 31 seems to be the number that will show up, if you have over 100 the next time you go in it may say 91, so it is good to do something before you visit your friends...
The quickest fix to show the correct number of friends rather than 31, and also to find hidden friends, is to click on the magnifying glass in the friends window (leaving the search box empty). That will re-sort all of your friends to the standard sort, and show them all.
(Standard sort: if you have not given all your gifts for the current gifting slot, friends you can give to are placed first in alpha order, then friends with no wish list or that you have already given to in alpha order. If you have given all your gifts for the current gifting slot, all friends are in alpha order.)
I simply go out of my friends list and in again to get the next 30, and out and in again to get the next 30, etc.