Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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Latest Nov-9 by KalyaRed
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So I've made it to two months but my mind is playing tricks on me.
Everything is always happening at once, I never get a chance to recover.
I have to move and leave the house I've lived in since 2007. I feel terribly alone. I hate my job - or as I've seen in a meme, I only like my job marginally better than I do being homeless. My marriage has always been a roller-coaster and we're in the low part right now. I'm chronically depressed and spend my whole day in the loudest office I've worked in.
I'm ready to quit. Not quite ready. I still have the strength to post. But quite honestly - I'm closer to caving than I am to keep up my quit.
I snapped and bought a pack of cigarettes. Now I'm on the porch trying to decide whether a slip will kill me.
So I'm bargaining. I know this. I should cry but I can't. Crying was never easy for me unless I'm nervous or trapped. I just feel alone though. I'm in that space where you're too sad to get up and too tired to cry.
I'm always challenging the patience of people in this forum and I'm sorry. I'm an addict - and my head has been hurting like mad all afternoon - it's 9h45pm in Lisbon.
Sending positive thoughts your way. I have been the way of slipping and it is not worth it.
I feel for you. What you're going through right now sucks. You don't deserve it. But smoking, as enticing as it is to want to get lost in a hazy nicotine high, won't help. The buzz of that first smoke after 2 months quit ain't worth it the nasty aftertaste, stink, coughing and headache that will follow.
Life is challenging you. have a good cry (if you can, sometimes we hurt so much the tears don't come). Then resolve to stay quit for YOU. Because you recognize that you are worth more than the lousy hand you were just dealt.
Stay close to the forum
I’m sorry to hear you’re having to go through all of that. It’s a lot to go through at one time but PLEASE don’t smoke. Quitting certainly isn’t easy but you’re doing it. That in itself is a testimony to your strength. You may not feel like it at the moment but you are strong and you can get through this. However, as difficult this may be, a cigarette isn’t going to change anything but your quit. It won’t change the move, the job, the marriage, or depression. It won’t help any of it, if anything it may add to it by making you feel worse that you lost your quit. When we quit we have to learn to handle life in another whole way as non-smokers, but when we come to these moments of extreme stress early on those thoughts of smoking return because that’s what we did. They were our companions through turbulent times, they’re what we turned to, to calm us. I’ve been there. Looking back though, I realize they didn’t, not truly. They didn’t stop how I was feeling physically or emotionally. If a cigarette is lit by someone whose angry, scared, nervous, depressed, crying, whatever, they still feel those things, only they feel them while smoking. I tied my own smokes in with my emotions, even posted about it. Looking back it was more of a habit during those times and, as I said, was more of a companion. Even so, what kind of real companion wants to harm us in our weakest moments? Do we really want a friend like that? And how will you feel afterward? We believe what we tell ourselves, remind yourself that you’re strong, and know that there are others who believe this about you too. You can do it. A cigarette isn’t worth it. Please continue to post. Sending you caring thoughts.
Here are some articles that may help also.
I wish you the best with your quit and with all that you’re going through. Hugs.
I’m new to this forum and I don’t know how the age range is here but I’m 32 and have quit smoking 5 years ago for a year straight and have been smoke free for 3 weeks now both times has been cold Turk and I can honestly say this time has been so much easier. I’m saying this in reply to you Kayla and to let you and everyone know that it is hard but it can be done with determination and honesty. You have to want it and be outspoken about how you feel and goals your trying to reach for quitting. I went through bad withdrawals my first time to the point I was a nervous wreck and was socially awkward and babbling mess when it came to verbal engagement, I chewed gum like a camel, I tapped my feet and fingers like there was a imaginary keyboard always in front of me but it got easier once I decided that my life was more important than my escape. I need support just as much as anyone here but I’m also know a couple things about addiction and the hardships
Hi, Kalya. How are you today?
Yesterday was a hard day for me too. Please stay strong. We are here to help you. Is better to post here and dont worry about challenging the patience of people in this forum. We all had our bad days. This forum is for this kind of moments also.
Hugs from Romania.
Good morning, Viv
Thank you for the positive thoughts! I was lucky to see your response quickly.
Good morning, June,
I've read this message at 6.30am. It really helped me start the day.
You're right, it is enticing. And you're right, it won't be worth it.
The tears haven't come yet. I guess they're waiting for the worst possible time.
Good morning Denim,
I've booked marked this message too. I'm still on the limb, though I recognise the truth in your words. I didn't smoke but I didn't throw away my pack.
Today's going to be a hard day. I hope I can get to bed smoke-free but it's not even 9AM and I'm not super strong or confident.
Thank you so much for all your support!