Opinion Polls: Delphi's Polling Place

Hosted by Showtalk

Opinion polls on all subjects. Opinions? Heck yes, we have opinions - but we're *always* nice about it, even when ours are diametrically opposed to yours. Register your vote today!

  • 4385
    MEMBERS
  • 91680
    MESSAGES
  • 8
    POSTS TODAY

Discussions

Tech Support Funnies-2   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Oct-11 by WALTER784; 85 views.
WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Oct-11

Tech Support Funnies
 
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
 
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer."
 
Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
 
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
 
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
 
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
 
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
 
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
 
Customer: "After they were initialized all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one."
 
Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
 
Customer: "The balance is backwards. The left channel is coming out of the right speaker and the right channel is coming out the left. It's defective.
 
Tech Support: "You can solve the problem by moving the left speaker the right side of the machine and vice versa."
 
Customer: (sputter) (click)
 
Tech Support: (snicker)
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Customer: "I'd like to return this scanner."
 
Store Clerk: "Excuse me?"
 
Customer: "This scanner I bought. I paid eighty dollars for this scanner, and it doesn't work!"
 
Store Clerk: "Uh... sir, that's a trackball."
 
Customer: "No, it isn't. It says 600 dpi tracking resolution, right?
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Got a call from a woman who said that her laser printer was having problems: the bottom half of her printed sheets were coming out blurry. It seemed strange that the printer was smearing only the bottom half. I walked her through the basics, then came over and printed out a test sheet. It printed fine. I asked her to print a sheet, so she sent a job to the printer. As the paper started coming out, she yanked it out and showed it to me. I told her to wait until the paper came out on its own. Problem solved.
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow.
 
I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on piece of white paper instead of his yellow construction paper?"
 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Sometimes the user can teach us a thing or two about tech support. A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer."
...[Message truncated]
View Full Message
TOP