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Mammograms   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started May-25 by WALTER784; 41 views.
WALTER784
Staff

From: WALTER784

May-25

Mammograms
 
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. 
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the 
following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home. 
 
EXERCISE ONE: 
 
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. 
 
Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.. 
 
 
EXERCISE TWO: 
 
Visit your garage at 3AM   when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. 
Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast. 
 
EXERCISE THREE: 
 
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip t o the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. 
 
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. 
 
 
YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED! 
 
AND, just a thought for all the women out there... 
 
MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, 
MENopause.... 
 
Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?...And 
 
When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy! 
 
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!
 
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra... 
Hard to Find 
Supportive 
Comfortable 
Always Lifts You Up 
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging 
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!
 
FWIW
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