I have nit had that happen althought one thought it had happened to her. Mainly I have found that some relatives who were rich and famous were real duds when it came to being family.

Not everyone wants to be close to extended family.

I know. I am debating what info to put into a snail letter to a 3rd cousin, now.

Be thoughtful. They won’t turn you away if they are curious and you are kind.

It will be interesting as they do not seem to be aware of our mutual Native American ancestors or even a true gf.

Would they want to know?

Not sure. I found her younger sister's attempt on Ancestry but it was very small and not accurate. My gm was their gm's cousin and another lived here while in nursing school. Very close.

Learning from my friend’s mistake, she would have had better results if she let them know she had learned something possibly controversial about the family and would they want know.  You would think yes, but things don’t always appear the same to different people.

A lot of people are so anxious to please Ancestry by making their tree grow that they don't care whose privacy they invade. A relative (still alive) was born in 1928. The Great Depression hit afterward. The 1930 census listed her with an older sister and she and the sister had different mothers but the same father. I discovered it and told the poster and also said 1928 child was alive and other child was her cousin and there is a rule against posting the living. He took it down for a couple of years but put it back. He is proud of all the many names he has. Must be at least 1,000? I may be on his list for all I know?

How does that work? You can only list people who are deceased?