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Sad but true... They walk among us   The Jovial You: Humor, Jokes and Riddles

Started Jun-15 by WALTER784; 213 views.
WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jun-15

Sad but true...

They walk among us

It amazes me that with computerized skills... people can't count money anymore.

What's up with that??

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart.
The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her the money back.
She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again.
I gave her the money back again... same scenario!
I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free."
"They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free"
She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" ..............

They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff." ............

They Walk Among Us!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center.
One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.
I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."
He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"
Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific." ....

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the trunk. ..............

They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%.
Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. ..............

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.
"Then," she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?" ...............

They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.
He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." ...............

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

FWIW

In reply toRe: msg 1
WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jun-16

And now for part 2:

Unfortunately they do walk among us and reproduce!

Wonder if someone gave them chewing gum they'd do themselves in instead of others?!

=========================
Idiot #1 of 2007

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

=========================

Idiot #2 of 2007

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.

Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

=========================

Idiot #3 of 2007

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.

He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.

=========================

Idiot #4 of 2007

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy........ But you still get a sign

=========================

Idiot #5 of 2007

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.

=========================

Idiot #6 of 2007

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign

=========================

Idiot #7 of 2007

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.

The whole event was caught on videotape.

Yep, here's your sign

=========================

Idiot #8 of 2007

I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin) We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

=========================

(Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote)

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

FWIW

Don't you wish all stupid people would just wear a sign that says "I'm Stupid"?

 That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me, oops, never mind. I didn't see your sign."

Showtalk
Host

From: Showtalk

Jun-19

Yes, signs would be helpful, but it’s a matter of degree.  Some people don't have the ability to process complex ideas and concepts, but they aren’t harmful or dangerous. Not everyone can be intelligent.  A few are dangerously stupid and incompetent.  It’s kind of elitist to dislike anyone for not having complex functioning abilities.

  • Edited June 19, 2021 1:16 pm  by  Showtalk
WALTER784

From: WALTER784

Jun-20

$1,661.87 in cats (ROCKETMAN_S) said...

Don't you wish all stupid people would just wear a sign that says "I'm Stupid"?

That would be nice, but because they're so stupid they probably would forget to wear their signs!

FWIW

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