BreakRoom/Almost Anything Goes -  Madhouse at the Castle's (40 views) Notify me whenever anyone posts in this discussion.Subscribe
 
From: Sue C (suec_2) DelphiPlus Member Icon2/25/12 11:33 AM 
To: All  (1 of 4) 
 69187.1 
Hi all,  I've been away for awhile.  We've had quite an uproar at our house.  Our son has been out of work for a year and a half, and now his wife is being medically discharged from the AirForce.  They have nowhere to go but "home" (there goes my revolving/swinging door again, LOL).  Since they didn't know when the final date would be they decided to have the girls move here early (6 & 8) so they don't have to change schools with only 6 or so weeks to go.  So, we're temporarily "parents" again to youngsters and it's just crazy busy around here  (I now know why children are given to the young and am beginning to realize how old I'm getting, LOL).  I've still managed to get in a little bit of claying (they like to clay with me, of course, but then it always turns into me helping them and not getting anything of my own accomplished, LOL).  

So, I just wanted to check in and touch bases.  I love all I see everybody doing.  I'm working on my own line of dragons and the first is now in the store, along with some of my canes.  

We sure could use some positive thoughts or prayers that Nick gets a job soon.  He is a disabled vet and has worked so hard to get his degree in Software Engineering (Programming).  Nick has ADHD and for him to have gotten his Bachelors Degree is such a wonderful accomplishment, but he expected it to help him find employment.  I don't know how to help, other than to "just be here".   He graduated in October and has been trying to find a job for the past year and a half with no luck (he doesn't have enough experience. . . where does he get the experience if nobody will hire him?  For the past 4 months he's been "working" a volunteer/non paid job just for experience, but if neither of them is employed, he can't afford to stay in SC and keep commuting to this non-paid job.)  He's getting extremely discouraged and depressed and now with his wife losing her job, they just don't know what to do or where to turn.  They'll have a home and food as long as we're here, but really want to be "out on their own".   He does have 2 interviews in the area as soon as they get moved back here (March 10) and one sounds very promising (he's had an initial phone interview) and is in our hometown (30 miles from where we live now, but a place he's very comfortable with), so if you could spare some good vibes, positive thoughts, and/or prayers, it would be very much appreciated.  

Thanks and hugs to all.   
 
 Reply   Options 

 
From: sunni (sunnisan)2/25/12 5:46 PM 
To: Sue C (suec_2) DelphiPlus Member Icon  (2 of 4) 
 69187.2 in reply to 69187.1 
i so know where you are with kids and grandkids returning to the nest. it is actually way more common an occurance these days than we'd like to admit. you have my sincere empathy!! and many, many good wishes.

i was discharged from the air force on a medical after 18.5 years of service. i am not retired, i was released on a medical. my wife retired and i applied to the VA and i have a way better medical and educational support system than she does. i would have you ask them BOTH apply to Veteran's Affairs if they haven't already done so. following are links and ideas to give them a hand. they earned it. don't be shy about getting insistent on getting their benefits. don't hesitate to hound the local representative about how the applications are coming along. don't be afraid to go over the local reps to the regional representative if they suspect any foot-dragging or incompetence. my sole income, medical, dental and eye care is the VA. getting into the system is a pain in the hoohah but it is worth every grumble and months of waiting. they need to have complete copies of their military medical records with pages earmarked where there is proof supporting their claim(s), copies of all paperwork verifying what their percentage of disability is, all discharge paperwork and make several copies of the original dd214. please never let anyone have the original form. the dd214 is priceless and irreplaceable so make sure it gets stored someplace safe where they can find it easily for the next 50 years.

http://www.va.gov/ - browse under the two tabs: Veteran Services and Locations. Do their research. know what they are due before they begin the battle for benefits. Locations gives links to their State VAs, take advantage of everything they are due.

http://www.military.com/features/0,15240,157694,00.html - ask them to check this out and discuss it with their local VA representative if either one stayed in the service more than 15 years.

http://www.military.com/ - join, it's free and no obligation. once they're active members have them go into My Account / Account Settings / Subscriptions and sign up at least for the Benefits newsletter. this site is as valuable as the va.gov

have them check in with the local DAV (Disabled American Vets). http://www.dav.org/ They can help with transportation to and from medical appointments, help noodle out a game plan to apply for benefits and all-around general support. some offices offer more than others simply due to volume of clientele.

Check out http://www.job.com/  Join and they will find all kinds of help to get them on the road to recovery. they can tailor their job search and have it delivered to their email. this site also helps with making and polishing their resumes, teaching them how to skew it for the civilian mind.

Have them go to the online website for their state employment agency weekly to job hunt. If they go to the agency at least once in person, have them declare their disabled vet status and they will be assigned the officer who specializes in veteran's, disabled and not disabled. don't be afraid to ask for state assistance, at least for the children. i was on state assistance in oregon for 5 years until my VA claim finally became active because i had absolutely no income. (Claims, by the way, are paid retroactively dating back to the time they first applied for benefits. my first paycheck was a doozy.)

stay involved. join the retired community (alumni) for their rank, NCO Association for enlisted and Officers Association for the brass, if they are inclined. these organizations go to bat for retirees and have some pretty awesome lobbyists.

since she is being released from the air force, her income will be dramatically reduced or cease altogether. have them find a free financial counselor who can help them plan a budget and learn how to spend money on a tiny stipend. knowing how to buy and to not buy is learned behavior and they will need someone to give them sound advice so they don't dig themselves in too deep to dig out. this information can sometimes be found at the local and state employment agencies.

that's all i can think of for now. just have them ask questions everywhere they go. actively network. the more people they know, the better their luck will be. i've been where they are and it's not an easy place to be but it is possible to climb back up to self-dependence. remind them, please, that receiving the generosity of others is just as important as being the one doing the giving. ask them to take pride in enabling someone else to feel good about what they can do for your son and DIL. Too much pride can hobble their success. Gracious acceptance can go a long way and can cement friendships that could last profitably for all of them for years.

you might have them put their heads together and create their own jobs. find a service that's needed and fill the gap. invent something and develop a need for it. i have a sleep disorder so cannot hold a traditional job where i have to get up and go to bed within a 24 hour period. so - i make and teach wire jewelry design, polymer clay and papermaking with weeds. it brings in enough to feed my habit but then i do not pursue gainful employment. i could do much better if i actively networked and advertised. a friend of mine couldn't find work so he started a house cleaning business for property managers. being retired military they really know how to G.I. a house. their business picked up during the recession. Another friend of mine collects driftwood from the beach and carves incredible walking canes and staffs that sell for enough to keep him and his family quite well.

sure hope this helps. --sunni

 

 
From: raindrop (raindrop777)2/26/12 9:36 AM 
To: sunni (sunnisan)  (3 of 4) 
 69187.3 in reply to 69187.2 
Sunni, this is a treasure trove of great info. for all in that situation.  You should print it somewhere where lots more people can see it.  I hope it helps Sue's family and any others who need it. 
 

 
From: Sue C (suec_2) DelphiPlus Member Icon2/26/12 1:12 PM 
To: sunni (sunnisan)  (4 of 4) 
 69187.4 in reply to 69187.2 
Thank you, this is great information, I sent you a private message.  
 

First Discussion>>

 
Adjust text size:
Using a mobile device? Switch to the Mobile Site.

Welcome, guest! Get more out of Delphi Forums by logging in.

New to Delphi Forums? You can log in with your Facebook, Twitter, or Google account or use the New Member Login option and log in with any email address.

Home | Help | Forums | Chat | Blogs | Advertising | Membership Plans
© Delphi Forums LLC All rights reserved. Privacy Policy. Terms of Service.