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Carol's Story and Journey   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 10/9/16 by Carol03Oct; 6550 views.

From: Carol03Oct


Thank you so much!  It is a great compliment.

In reply toRe: msg 76

From: Carol03Oct


71 days without smoking, 1,427 cigs not smoked, money saved $814!, life regained 5 days, 22 hours.  Yep - 10 weeks.  Unreal, but boy am I having some rough times lately.  I think it is undoable deadlines at work which cause me not to sleep, which causes more stress.  I am just plain pooped.  This is nothing new - job stress at this time of year - it's every year, but this year feels worse than others that I remember.  I am darn close to just walking away from it.  It's insanely busy and we have a hiring freeze on.  I'm not sure what corporations think sometimes, but I am trying not to do too much OT because then it just means that people expect that much all the time.  The craves I have been having feel worse than they were at the beginning so have been going back to reading, and reading, and reading - sometimes just a 5 minute of something, anything - gets me through it.  I have been re-reading my earlier posts and trying to remember why I did this.  The thoughts of "you can have just one" have really been haunting me - I KNOW I am not a "just one" person but then the other side of me says "Oh come on, one is all - it will taste like sh** and then you won't want one anymore and then you can be rid of this thinking".  Ugghhh!  I know it's lies - I just need some sleep!

  • Edited December 13, 2016 3:02 pm  by  Carol03Oct

From: lm2015



As everyone on the forum states:  cigarettes come in packs.  There is no such thing as only ONE.


In reply toRe: msg 77

From: Carol03Oct


WOW - I am so glad I got through yesterday - it was darn close a couple of times and fought urges most of the day.  Once you start entertaining thoughts of smoking, it's bad news.  That nicodemon grabs hold and it's a tough go shaking him off.  BUT got through it - feel better today.  Have a day out of the office, so got to sleep a bit extra.  Getting away from the office definitely helps.  Do have a little work to do, but so much better doing it from home.  Just did alot of talking to myself and actually went and sat in the bathroom for a bit with the door closed.  I don't know why the bathroom - it just felt safe there.  I didn't log onto my computer when I got home from work but should have to read some posts which always seems to help.  I just can't believe that it's so hard at this stage of the quit.  I have fallen off quits before in the first few months so glad I fought off that one.  My brain was really dancing around it though - going yes, then no, then yes.  I felt such a huge sense of relief when I woke up this morning and realized, that yes, I CAN get through a bad day with that nicodude.  Fought him off and won that battle!

72 days without smoking, 1,443 cigs not smoked, saved $824 and 6 days of life.  Think I sweated off about 6lbs fighting those urges yesterday LOL

  • Edited December 14, 2016 9:38 am  by  Carol03Oct

You'll be going through these ups and downs the entire first year. You are in the early months and each day smoke free is a celebration. This addiction will bring you to your knees at times. As the months go by we get frustrated at how long this is taking and that addicted brain of ours will definitely remind us of our past smoking behaviors hence the cravings that come out of nowhere. When craves hit always go back to One crave One Day at a Time thinking till it all settles down again. 

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013


From: Carol03Oct


Thank you for the advice Debbie!  I am still hanging in there and after those 2 hellish days, it seems to be better.  I know that everytime you beat a trigger, the next time should be easier.  I imagine there are triggers always - but glad to find out they get less intense.  Have a great day!!


76 days smoke free, 1,525 death cigs  not smoked, saved $870 - how did I ever pay for those?  6 days of life saved!


From: LDS03102016


Hi Carol, 

I'm exactly like you and was looking for anything to help me and ended up on this forum. I didn't understand why it feels as bad as the first weeks but it clearly simply does and I need to repeat all those motivations to myself, over and over again. Stress does not help of course but are a fact of life. Sleep is most important, a rested mind is much stronger. Just hang in there, we've come this far. Having read a lot on this site i feel a little ashamed now for even thinking i was contemplating to giving in, bad idea! I would not want to go through everything again and I'm sure you won't either. Get that sleep and don't even consider having one, pre warn any smoking friends to not give you 'one' on any festive parties, it would be the wrong decision. 

How do I actually get into the october quitters group? I have never been on a forum before so not sure what i am doing. 

ModMarge (slowblumer)

From: ModMarge (slowblumer)


Hi LD,

Here is the link you want.  The first 3 months are absolutely miserable, so hang on, don't give up and keep correcting your brain when it tells you lies.   you can do this.

In reply toRe: msg 79

From: Carol03Oct


Unbelievable how time flies - 80 days today, 1600 cigarettes not smoked - crazy that I could have put that many cigs down by now.  Over $900 saved!  Was buying flowers as a reward - been a week or two since the last ones gave up the ghost so maybe go buy some Christmas type flowers this week!  That would be nice!  Work is ridiculously busy right now - I get into the office and it seems all of a sudden the hubby is calling to say he's there to pick me up.  I regularly leave shaking my head going what the heck just happened.  The days are going by so fast! and just going a hundred miles an hour all the time it feels.  Ah well - one thing about work - I do not think about smoking there at all anymore.  However, when I leave - that is my biggest challenge of the day - especially when I get home!  Have been having a glass of wine instead - but will have to give that up if I want to lose weight.  Anyway  - just feel as Debbie said, that staying away from smoking is my number one priority.  But - as Doug said in a post - some of the things we do to stay away from smoking, can actually cause some craves or make them more intense.  Will have to keep that in mind.  Creeping up to 12 weeks.  Love it!!  Getting closer to the weekend and get a few days of down time from the work - sure need it.  Looking forward to a slower pace for sure!  Feel sometimes like I don't know how long I can keep this pace up.  My biggest craves are usually at the end of a work day - pretty obvious why - a few on the weekends, but lately those have been really busy too, so easy to distract myself.  Just have to keep distracting myself.  I feel the next month is critical for me - have lost a couple of quits in the last three years at the four to five month stage, so going to be on the lookout for those junkie thoughts!  Kick those beggars to the curve!

In reply toRe: msg 84

From: Carol03Oct


New Year's eve - my birthday tomorrow.  I will be celebrating this one smoke free!  Yippee!!  The more smoke free birthdays, the better for me.  i am sad to see that most of the people who quit with me in October have started again.  However, that is the power of this addiction.  We tell ourselves later - I will do it later.  I will do it again.  Well - no more of that for me I hope.  I want to be done with "later".  I want to be done with "here I go again".  This time when I quit I wasn't sure I had the strength in me to do it "again".  I don't want to test that again.  I have the strength now.  I have 89 days under my felt.  I have powered through 89 days of mood swings, cravings, grumpiness and yes, celebrating - celebrating every dang smoke free minute.  I am going to continue celebrating.  I am going to continue fighting this addiction - the lovely thing about 89 days is I know that I can live my life without smoking happily.  There are days now where it's hours and hours that go by without even thinking about "the quit".  I love it when that happens.  However, I am also on guard - I know this is a sneaky addiction and even though I can go hours without thinking about it, sometimes the next thought is "I need a cigarette".  Constantly astounds me.  Then that junkie thinking starts to take hold - you can have one.  You can have just one puff and that will help.  But nope - I know that's what got me to exactly where I am today - 89 days in instead of 1089 or whatever days in.  So staying on guard.  Still fighting that head of mine.  Onward to 90 days and a brand new year without smoking!