Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.
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I think probably staying quit will make me closer to people. Tonight I went out shopping. I didn't really want to. I liked smoking in the car when shopping. By myself. My husband doesn't smoke. He could tell tonight I just wasn't into it. The shopping that is. So he offered to go with me. Instead of the usual making a reason he'd be happier staying home, Or feeling a little put out that I'd have to smoke outside before we left, I was really happy he offered to come and it turned out just fine. And I shared with him in the truck exactly what I just shared with you. He doesn't quite understand because he'll never feel it having never smoked or been addicted to anything. but he listened and was happy to have me share that. I told him it's embarrassing to admit previously I'd choose a cigarette over a human. Especially a human husband. But for me, to admit these things out loud reinforces that staying quit is really important and I should try best possible not to go back to smoking. Being closer to people should be more important that being closer to cigarettes. And when I was smoking I'd tend to put my smoking requirements first. And get mad when a real, live human who cared about me got in the way of when I wanted to smoke. So right at this moment, Yes, I want a cigarette. But I'm accepting that desire and accepting that I don't know when it will pass. Maybe not till I am sleeping. But I'm doing the right thing, and reminding myself as needed that being closer to humans will enhance my life more than being closer to cigarettes.
You are not alone. I was surely the same way. I would no sooner be just arriving at a family function when I would be thinking about when i could get away to smoke. It was a pitiful way to live, always craving to smoke, then smoking, then craving again. Now, I am fully present for all activities and you are on your way to that same freedom. Keep on Noping.
Yes, I want a cigarette. But I'm accepting that desire and accepting that I don't know when it will pass. Maybe not till I am sleeping. But I'm doing the right thing, and reminding myself as needed that being closer to humans will enhance my life more than being closer to cigarettes.
I like the way you put it that we become closer to people. You are so right about how we chose cigarettes over people. I remember my daughter's impatience with me when I parked by the side of a road on a road trip just so I could feed my addiction. Leaving my husband to entertain guests at barbeques so I could sneak off for a smoke.
I do enjoy your posts, Noel. They're often quite thought provoking.
One of my least fond memories is not being able to smoke in the house when babysitting, waiting and pacing outside on the back porch smoking fast and furious like a crazy person while my godson's children stood inside the house at the glassed in back door watching me, waiting for my godson to pick them up. It was a terrible, guilty feeling not being able to sit and have fun with them for extended periods of time without going on the porch to smoke. They are now young adults who don't even remember that Auntie Dee ever smoked. So yes when I stopped smoking we became closer and those are the memories I cherish.
You've accepted and realised something wonderful. Smoking didn't enhance any situation - it often spoiled it.
Your hubby sounds a really great guy and I'm so glad that you have been able to share with him what you share with us. I know he's supported you through your quit and it's only fair to explain to him just how you're feeling. I read your other post about him watching the same film over and over - my hubby is the same with an English sit-com called 'Only Fools and Horses'. I swear I know the script word for word!! However, I've now discussed this with him honestly and he only watches it when I'm busy in another part of the house. Don't tell him that I could watch Tom Hardy movies a million times over. That's my little guilty secret!!
You're doing just great. Keep being honest and you won't go wrong.