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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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Support people    General Chit-Chat

Started Nov-28 by Noel001; 150 views.
Noel001

From: Noel001

Nov-28

I don't know what to do with the support people sometimes. It feels like I'm having to placate them and it makes me want to smoke. Last night my husband and I watched Nat'l Lampoon Christmas Vacation. For the tenth time. For me, it's tolerable. Slightly amusing maybe. For him, it's laugh out loud every five seconds while looking at me like "laugh with me".  It's a frustrating time because I don't want to do all this Christmas shopping without having my cigarettes in between stores. It's what I do! And I've upped the intensity on run training to get faster and my body is sore. so after being asked why I'm "a little off" I told Lee, "I'm dying for a cigarette and the thing I'm doing to get my mind off it - training harder - is giving me sore muscles so at the moment I feel stuck in an annoying loop of stupidness" And now his plan is to personally get me out of the loop. I appreciate it and I understand his desire to fix my problem. But I feel like after work I oughtta just go along with his repair plans and pretend he has succeeding in fixing it just to get some space for myself.  I don't want to push anyone away but I really don't want to participate in anything special right at the moment.  And the pretending just seems like too much work.

We hear you! You are Quitting For Yourself. Try to Fake it till you make it through the holidays. Holidays ARE SO TOUGH. Yes support people sometimes fake words of support as they really don't know the agony you are going through. My sisters always gave me the half heartened ya ya so you quit get over it attitude. They both quit smoking decades ago in their 20's. I finally quit at age 58 but didn't feel like a super strong ex-smoker until I was 2 years quit (we have an 80% chance at 2 years to remain quit for life). Some people can be harsh or incapable of true compassion and understanding. But, don't let them sabotage your quit just keep going and never stop or surrender!! You must feel strong and very proud of yourself!! You are no sissy!! Successful quitters are not sissies!! You are one of us a proud EX-PUFFER. Now take relaxing baths with Epsom salts after your runs and workouts to detox and de stress. Remember men think they have to fix things and your hubby is doing exactly this. Men continue to do this even into old age and they all suffer from MAS (male answer syndrome). They think they have the answers to everything hahaha! Just let him talk but ignore his advice as You are the one going through The Quit - not him. Happy ho ho ho and hang in there. I promise you will feel awesome once your quit gets solid. 

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

Noel001

From: Noel001

Nov-28

Thank you for the advice:) I believe you about later. Question is will I make it till then. I think probably yes.  Too funny about your man comments. Yes, they want to fix everything. But yet when I express ideas on how to fix stuff for people he considers me "a nosepot".  But I called him out on that with a reminder that he's the first to try to fix stuff too and he said "Oh, you're right-I never looked at it THAT way". Today's great encouragement was that running and jumping  playing with my baby grand Jack I did not have to hide being a little winded from my daughter because I was actually not a little winded.  Breathing was not a thought. I just happened. That's mainly why I quit in the first place:) After jumping around and having him chase me or carrying him up stairs I was always like "don't let Nicci (my daughter)  hear me breathe heavy, I'm not breathing heavy-this is normal, but  don't let her hear it, I can hear it, I hope she doesn't notice, how much longer can I hide it, why do just a few cigarettes make this happen, I'm fit,I run for God sake,  this is garbage, stop breathing like that". And then if I was supposed to talk too I was just convinced I sounded like someone who needed oxygen. She never said anything so maybe it was all a nightmarish over-reaction in my head.  Maybe I sounded fine. But I must not have felt fine to have such arguments in my head over normal everday activiites. I don't seem to have that problem anymore. That's today's encouragement. 

DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Nov-29

I have or had paranoid feelings about being found out  way of a  scruffy voice or a laugh that leads to a coughing spell when I was on the phone.  How can you hide that.  I think people knew. I think just a few cigarettes over time causes damages.  

Pretending is exhausting.  Be yourself and if you need space take it.   We have to be selfish around this quitting thing.   I am feeling better after 1 month and 8 days.   I can actually take a really deep breath without my lungs hurting.   

keep going girl you can do it.. 

DJ

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