About Smoking Cessation Forum

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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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DJ's Journey   Quit Stories and Journals

Started Dec-1 by DJ (colbymorty); 302 views.
In reply toRe: msg 1
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-1

I am excited about starting this Journal.  Just got back from my Thanksgiving trip to SF. Processing what happened.  I need to think in  the safety of my home with my dog laying at my feet in Oregon surrounded by trees, birds, wildlife water water water. It's quiet.   

I have now stopped smoking for 1 month, 2 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 59 minutes, 37 seconds. That translates into 816 cigarettes NOT smoked, for a savings of $265.44! At 5 minutes per cigarette I have increased my life expectancy by 2 days, 20 hours, 3 minutes, 43 seconds.

This is all I care about right now.  

In reply toRe: msg 2
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-2

I am grateful today that I am not smoking.  I am fighting this battle because I want to live. My life is a bit unsettled right now smoking will not change that.  

I have Gratitude for the following: 

I am not homeless

I have a dog

I have a car 

I don't smoke

I can post to this forum and receive help when I need it for that 

I am very grateful. 

In reply toRe: msg 3
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-2

My ex stopped to visit on his way back to Montana from San Francisco. I am excited to have him visit. Sad when he leaves.  It takes about a day for me to recover.  Our relationship is complicated.  I can't believe we are divorced.  Together for 20 years.  We had a lot of good years together mixed with a lot of fighting.   We still love each other.  It's actually not too bad living apart.  I wish he was closer. Billings Montana is far. Erik is in Germany.  Sometimes I get scared when I realize I am alone.  

Going to sleep now.  I want to start a new routine.  Getting up early work out and start seriously looking for a FT job.  

In reply toRe: msg 4
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-3

I talked to Erik today.  He doesn't know about my struggles to quit smoking.  We were very close.  I was a single mom.  Josh came into his life when he was 4.    Josh and I smoked smoked but not around Erik.  We would quit together and start again. I never fully quit but only smoked occasionally.  I was heavily into triathalons at that time.   Picked up the pace in 2012 when I started a very stressful job at Stanford University and my marriage was falling apart.  My mom died, Erik moved away, Josh moved out, Josh's mom died ,

divorce.  All too much.  All of this happened within months.   My smoking escalated.  In fact, all of these events gave me permission to go for it. I embraced the idea that I could smoke as much as I wanted.  Who cares. It was almost to spite myself.  I was a failure as a mom, wife, person. Stinkin Thinkin.  I don't feel like that anymore. I made a lot of mistakes.   I did my best. Far from perfect. I felt my priorities were in the right place.  

Erik moved to another apartment still in Kreuzberg Germany. Going to graduate school.  He is a German/American citizen so his life is pretty easy there.  He identifies as German.  His grandmother lives 4 hrs away by train. He does have someone there.  That makes me happy.  I miss him very much.  My vision is coming out of this as a more honest person.  Honest to self.  Can't change what has happened.  Life is a gift.  I am trying hard to be my best self. 

In reply toRe: msg 5
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-4

I have now stopped smoking for 1 month, 2 weeks, 5 days, 22 hours, 30 minutes, 20 seconds. That translates into 1,965 cigarettes NOT smoked, for a savings of $638.77! At 5 minutes per cigarette I have increased my life expectancy by 6 days, 19 hours, 47 minutes, 14 seconds
SUNDAYS ARE ROUGH made it through.    
In reply toRe: msg 6
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-9

I am grateful because

I didn't crave a cigarette today

My dog Colby is always by my side

I was honest with myself 

I am independent

No rain in Oregon for the past week !!!

God bless California 

God help me get motivated to start working again.  

In reply toRe: msg 7
DJ (colbymorty)

From: DJ (colbymorty)

Dec-14

I am grateful for not smoking for almost 2 mos

I am grateful that I am still healthy

I am grateful that my new home is very nice, I have a full stomach,

I am warm 

I am grateful that Erik and I had a nice long talk this week

I am grateful for being on this earth.

I have now stopped smoking for 1 month, 3 weeks, 1 day, 10 hours, 14 minutes, 48 seconds. That translates into 861 cigarettes NOT smoked, for a savings of $258.42! At 5 minutes per cigarette I have increased my life expectancy by 2 days, 23 hours, 47 minutes, 1 second.

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