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Craving... A.L.T.   Quit Support

Started Dec-5 by KalyaRed; 995 views.

From: KalyaRed


I'm not hungry, but I'm feeling angry, lonely and tired. 

I have to accept my husband's going through his own processes now and he's not leaving me alone on purpose. But I am feeling alone. I feel he shuts me out, becomes distant and silent when he's grieving. That's him and it's something I can't change. It's not like I'm deciding on separating in the middle of quitting smoking so I have to accept it. 

So I'm angry at him for leaving me eating alone to go and smoke outside and for so many other occasions he leaves me alone so he can smoke. He smokes so much at night he ends up falling asleep on the sofa. I feel like I could kill him now. Nothing too serious. I just want to empty a bucket of ice water on his head while he sleeps but the sofa would take ages to dry.
Also I just found out I'm going to lose this job on December 15th, because I live in a country where old people retire after 65 and young people only find temporary jobs unless they know someone in power who gets them a real job. We're chasing job after job in a country that gave up its agriculture and industry to live on tourism alone. I guess they weren't counting on climate change when they chose that. That's anger. Tomorrow's my birthday. Today I found out me and my team are losing our jobs unexpectedly. I want to leave everything unfinished so the people who treat us as disposables have to work extra hours. I won't but I want to. 

Loneliness is from waking up alone. 

Tiredness is from chasing jobs constantly, and waking up every two hours because I have insomnia, and waking up to find I'm alone makes me sad and makes me take twice the time to fall asleep again. 

Second straight night I dreamed my mother died and she suddenly tells me she had a weird car accident and didn't tell me so I wouldn't be worried in vain cause she's ok. 
Please send some good vibes my way. I don't even feel brave enough to take the pledge today. 

Hi Kayla,

Sending you good thoughts this morning.  Every single one of us understands your loneliness.  That's one of the reasons this forum is here, because quitting smoking is a lonely journey, one that our family and friends often cannot handle.  (HALT) helps us understand our feelings and to own our quits.  Come here and post when you feel this way.  It's amazing just how much the act of posting and keeping a journal helps relieve some anxiety.  I think you quit on  Nov 18 so you are in one of the icky 3's-your brain is providing you with every reason under the sun to smoke.  Just don't smoke today.

The Icky Threes


When the Urge to Smoke Hits, Think H.A.L.T.

H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) is a powerful checklist to help you decode the urges to smoke that you experience.

"Years of smoking have taught us to react to literally everything by lighting a cigarette.

When we were happy, we'd celebrate by lighting up. When we got angry, smoking would calm us down—or so we thought. Tired? Smoke a cigarette to stay awake. Hungry? Feed yourself a smoke. This list goes on and on.

Between the physical addiction to nicotine and the mental associations that tie what seems like all of our activities to cigarettes, it can feel as though we're chained to smoking with links of steel".


From: KalyaRed


Hi, Marge, 

I'm not on the 3 week mark yet. I don't know what happened but suddenly smoking is all I can think of. I know it's my brain giving me reasons but it's winning... I feel stupid, am I going to wrestle with this forever? 

Oh seriously... I was so determined yesterday. What happened? 

I think I'm going to explode. I'm on my lunch break so I get to leave the building and there must be 6 places to buy cigarettes on this street. 

Hi there Kayla,

No, you won't wrestle with this forever but it does take time and patience.  It's a one day at a time process to get free.  Quitting smoking is a roller coaster ride.  One day you are up and the next down.  The good days help us get through the bad days.

                       Will I Always Miss Smoking?


From: KalyaRed


Thank you for your support, Marge!! :)

Meant a lot! Hugs! 

ModSue (VentasSue)

From: ModSue (VentasSue)


Hey Kalya

I'm so sorry you've had such a bad day.  

During the early part of our quit our emotions are truly on a roller-coaster.  One day we'll feel OK and the next as if we're back to Day 1.  You have to pull up every bit of determination you have to never let the negative feelings convince you that smoking would help anything.  It won't and, given time, you'll start to really love yourself and feel the greatest sense of self-respect and achievement that you've ever felt because you've quit.  Just keep going one day at a time.  Come here and post - it's great that you've cried out for help today and also great that Marge was here to help you.

You can do this and I promise that you will never regret it.  Don't throw away the effort you've put into the past few weeks.

When I was tempted to smoke again, I would remember something I was told - wouldn't it be terrible if I smoked again and threw my quit away today and, maybe, tomorrow would have been the day the peace would come.

Time and patience are your greatest allies at the moment and, with both, things will improve.

I'm so sorry about your job, too.  That truly is a blow but I'm sure that you will be able to find something else.  I often find that when one door closes, the door that opens leads to a far better journey.  Be positive and be grateful for what you have.  You're doing great and just need to keep going.  

Thinking of you.



From: KalyaRed


Hi, Sue

It is a roller coaster! It can really catch you off guard sometimes! 

It did help a lot that I was lucky to find Marge awake and I've read the articles she gave me about 3 times each. Then I revisited the posts I've bookmarked, and the lovely words people here have been generous enough to say. And how would I feel if I did smoke, like that awful feeling of failure that hit me when I relapsed. 

I'm grateful that you're all here to put up with me :) day 18 has already begun, I'm baking a cake for my coworkers tomorrow. It will do us all good even if with the alibi of celebrating my birthday... We could all use some chocolate after the news today. As DJ says, we're stronger supporting each other and I'm glad I found you. 

We're doing this! I'm keeping my quit! Thank God and thank you all! 



It seems like an incoming tide of stress has hit.

Anxiety is a biproduct of cessation - it takes about three months for your brain to rewire itself - getting past this phase is part of the process.

Relish in the knowledge that your body is healing and you are on the path to freedom from nicotine


ModSue (VentasSue)

From: ModSue (VentasSue)


Hey Kalya

Enjoy your cake and never feel that anyone here is 'putting up with you'.  We all need a good rant during the tricky parts of our quit.  You're doing better than you think.


From: KalyaRed


Wow! Good morning, Sue!

Thank you so much!! You got me smiling, happy at 7am! 

Big big hugs!