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Sarah's freedom ride   Quit Stories and Journals

Started 9/1/15 by Sarahjsouris; 6681 views.
In reply toRe: msg 70

From: Sarahjsouris


Hi guys,

How the hell ARE you? I am patiently waiting for the January 2017 board to open. I have not slipped. I have not had a cigarette since January 2015, but I am still using nicotine spray and the plan is to quit this while I am on holidays and I have a week or so spare where I can lose my concentration for a while, and just get over this last hurdle in my smoking cessation journey.

I look forward to engaging with you all again. I am sorry I haven't been around. I really kicked the habit, and moved on to other things. 

I hope you are doing well!

Sarah xoxoxo

In reply toRe: msg 71

From: Sarahjsouris


The first task in my quit nicotine journey is to start to forget. I keep thinking that I should have a spray of nicotine around now, and then I remember that I have quit. It is a strange feeling.

Unlike with quitting cigarettes, when there is something else I could replace for the nicotine craving, I have no other form of replacement, so I am just going to have to get used to nothing, nada, nothing, instead. 

I guess it is like any habit, where you are used to doing a certain thing habitually. It can feel a bit strange when that thing is no longer a part of your world. 

And so it begins! I will be so happy when this is done!!

In reply toRe: msg 72

From: Sarahjsouris


Maybe I need to get some (non nicotine) chewing gum. Maybe I need something to 'do' with my mouth, while I am quitting this nicotine spray. Hopefully the thoughts won't last TOO long.

In reply toRe: msg 73

From: Sarahjsouris


I keep telling myself that this is doable. I am in that crazy bargaining stage, where I think that I should down regulate these nicotine receptors before I quit, like I did when I quit cigarettes. It still feels like a cop out. Even though a psychologist friend of mine suggested to wean myself off it. I just don't seem to be able to do that - all or nothing maybe.

This is hard core cold turkey now. There is nowhere else to turn! I don't have any kind of nicotine replacement for the nicotine replacement, hehe. It is comedy.

In reply toRe: msg 74

From: Sarahjsouris


I am not thinking clearly at the moment, and I am having trouble making decisions. The most important thing I have to do this month is to cut my medication by another 50 mg. This is going to make me feel very sick, and I won't be able to work. 

This is why I am considering doing it this week while I am on holidays, so that I can be in some kind of fit state of mind for when work starts next week. 

The problem is that it clashes with this plan of cutting out the nicotine spray, which is not going very well, I have to say. On New Year's Day I bought one more cartridge, because I thought I was going to run out before I was ready to quit, but I didn't. That left a cartridge lying around while I am trying to quit, and last night when I was feeling stressed out I pulled it out and had a spray. 

The directions on the packet say to to cut down over a period of two weeks then reduce to 2 - 4 sprays a day over the next two weeks. 

I am confused. I just want all this to be DONE already, and I am worried that I am trying to tackle too much.

Hi Sarah. It's so great to see you posting again and that you stayed quit. I guess the psychological addiction to substitutes is another challenge for you. Get as much as as possible from your doctor and perhaps he/she has further suggestions for adjusting your medications. Don't be too hard on yourself because remember you quit smoking which is a monumental acheivment. Some people get addictions to sweets too. We can all get addicted to various things but it still is up to us to actually end our addictions.mthat nagging Yosemite Sam voice of addiction is so annoying! Keep busy, do something to keep distracted and use something else to stop the behavior that you want to stop. We all get uptight and anxious when trying to Make Ourselves Change. Change is difficult till it gets ingrained into our everyday thinking and becomes automatic. You do have the tools because you did quit smoking. Take care and good luck getting free of the spray too.

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013


From: Sarahjsouris


Thanks Deb,

Yes, we do get addicted to different things. They don't even have to be chemical - such as sweets or nicotine. I have been addicted to certain websites in the past too. I guess we create these neural networks in our brains and reward ourselves with dopamine. It is completely understandable.

Thanks so much for your support. I was a bit unsure what to do first, but the medication is more important, and I have cut back on that. It hasn't been nearly as bad as the first reduction, and now I am halfway. It is good to do it on holidays so that I don't have to take too much time off work. 

Also, I have been able to maintain the reduction in the nicotine spray at the same time, so I am very happy about how it is all working out. I am just consciously using the spray a LOT less, and it is not too hard, but also, I don't feel out of my depth. 

At some point, I will take the plunge and cut it out completely. 

What has been happening in your world? It is good to be back. It is amazing how supporting others can really consolidate the mindset that is so important when quitting. This forum has been invaluable to me. It is good to see that you are still here!

Sarah xoxo

In reply toRe: msg 77

From: Sarahjsouris


Being close to this forum is having its effect. It is getting me into the right mindset. It gives me strength. I am thinking that I might buy some nicotine patches and give this another go at quitting the nicotine spray towards the end of this week / this weekend.

In reply toRe: msg 78

From: Sarahjsouris


My reduction in medication is tossing me all over the shop. After being blue most of the day, I found some sunshine of happiness this evening and it was overwhelming. I followed it, and maybe I am not ready to express such happiness again yet. Afterwards, I feel so blue. I am ALL OVER THE SHOP. 

It is no time to make a decision, but I am wondering if I need a bit more time to get into the swing of this medication reduction, before I quit the nicotine spray. Drats. It is good to be on the board though. It really gets me into a positive and proactive mindset.

You know your body and change is very difficult. Our brains will adapt with time. I am sure you will find the solution. Moment by moment day by day it will get easier just like quitting cigarettes. Good luck Sarah.

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013