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Formerly known as the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum, this community is open to all who are recovering from nicotine addiction.

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Denim   General Chit-Chat

Started Sep-10 by alreadysick; 1498 views.
Denim50

From: Denim50

Oct-9

Hey Michele, 

I’m SO sorry I’m a month late responding to this. Alex did cc me of it. Thanks Alex. The past month has been really rough. My family and I have been coping with quite a bit. Again, I’m so sorry that in the midst of it all I missed responding to these thoughtful and sweet messages. Thank you all, Michele, Brenda, and Alex. It’s not 18 months anymore, it’s actually 19 months today, but I couldn’t be happier or more grateful for your kind, encouraging, and amazingly touching messages, than I am today. It truly means so much to me, more than I can possibly say. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU ALL! I do feel however that I owe you a bit more clarity. During the past month, I’ve had to go to the hospital and since then have returned for test, appointments, etc.. My son had a medical problem and had to be taken to the hospital via ambulance. Also another family member who has some serious health issues had to have a operation. Thankfully they came through it okay and are recovering. As I said, my family and I have been coping with a lot over the past month. In the middle of it all, I tried to log on as I could briefly. During that time, there were so many post daily and celebrations that it was almost like that old adage ‘Miss a little, miss a lot.’. I’ve been trying to catch up a bit but I’m definitely still behind, and posting several belated congratulations myself and hopefully one or two on time. Anyway, I hope the three of you will forgive my late response. You’re awesome and I’m so proud of the three of you too! Michele, I have no doubt that you’ll get here too and I look forward to celebrating with you when you do. You three are amazing and you’re doing the same for your buddies and those following behind and cheering and celebrating those ahead, including this straggler still sticking around the forum, lol. Thank you all for your good wishes, warm thoughts, and sweet messages, they are so greatly appreciated. Hugs to each of you. Thank you for making this post Michele and thank each of you for making today so special. 

Since everyone can see this I’m going to take a few minutes to talk about getting this far. I smoked almost forty years before joining the forum. I made a few attempts at quitting over the years but with no real success. I started smoking as a really young teenager. Back then anyone could buy them. Almost forty years of smoking is a lot of cigarettes and money. However, I wasn’t sure when I joined that this time would be any different but I certainly hoped it would, and  I knew I wanted to try again. I loved all the support I was seeing here and decided to take a chance. I’m so glad I did. I actually created my account in late February 2018 but didn’t try to quit or join in until that March. I had read about preparing to quit. However, when I did join the March group, people stepped up to welcome me, support me, encourage me, and sometimes put up with me, lol. Come on, you’ve quit, you know what I’m talking about, lol. wink Over a year and half... I was trying to make a month and a half, lol. scream The Moderators (shoutout to Marge and Sue) were awesome with helping and a lot of other caring people who had been here for years, like Triff, SueP, Anita, Debbie, Viv, and Laura, also reached out to help and be there. I got in with a absolutely amazing group that March too and we were surrounded by wonderful neighboring groups, some ahead, some behind, but all so closely knitted together. If any of you are reading this, I love you all and thank you! I’m not sure I would be here posting this without you. 

Sounds almost like a breeze doesn’t it? It wasn’t, it not ever is. Quitting isn’t easy. It’s one of the hardest things a smoker can do. The withdrawal alone affects us in so many ways, and in the middle of it all we’re trying not only to heal from addiction but to handle life in a whole new way as non-smokers. It can be a challenge to say the least, but it is doable. Easy, no, but it is worth it. More importantly, YOU are worth it. It can be done and you can do it. Please don’t give up. Someone might read this and think, ‘You don’t know what’s going on in my life.’. Maybe I don’t know your story, but here’s a part of mine. What a time! I’m not going to get into this, but I found out that cigarettes were affecting my health. I’m going to leave it at that. We also found out my husband had had a heart attack, thankfully he survived. Also, a close friend of ours died that March. There are no words I find accurate to describe how I felt at the time. There even came a point where a family friend was supposed to come for a visit. I told this person that they would be more than welcome to smoke outside but not in the house anymore, because of my husband’s health and the fact that I had quit. The person decided not to visit after all. They did return eventually. Think about that for a second though. All of that on top of the withdrawal and normal stressors of everyday life. The fact that I tied my cigarettes in with my emotions did nothing to help either. Something I mentioned in my first post when I joined March 9, 2018: 

Hi Jenn, 

     I’ve been smoking almost forty years. I’ve tried to quit smoking several times. I have the nasty habit of tying them in with my emotions. Stressed...light a cigarette and try to calm down, nervous...I need a cigarette, angry...where are my cigarettes?! You get the idea. As far as avoiding stress goes, my life has been full of stress lately. Nonetheless, I want to quit smoking, but I don’t want to use NRTs. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. 

Thank you.

P.S. How do you post here without it being a reply? Thanks. 

Amazingly enough, most of us held on and reached the Clubhouse. We did it and you can too. When we join and participate in the forum we not only find help and information about quitting but also strength, support, and understanding in each other, and sometimes some amazing friends along the way. 

I also want to mention that there are people here that unfortunately have had to go through and continue to go through so much more difficulties and hardships in their lives, with their health and/or that of their families, a part from the cessation. Yet they have quit, stayed quit, and through everything they and their families have gone through and continue to go through, they have inspired and continue to inspire so many here. If any of you are reading this (You know who you are and I’ll leave it there.). You are heroes,
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Jan2185

From: Jan2185

Oct-10

Woooohoooooo many, many, many congratulations on your 19 months Denim... wow a great achievement.  It is the most difficult journey ever and made worse with negative things that are going on around you.... my first port of call was always cigarettes as i am sure it has been with a lot of us.  It is so hard when that "crutch" is taken away

You have done amazingly... well done my friend :)

Jan sunflower

4quitness

From: 4quitness

Oct-10

Oh Denim, I'm so sorry that you and your family have had so many issues. You have done an amazing job of supporting everyone on this forum through all of your own difficulties. I know I couldn't handle anyone else's issues along with my own. I'm just not built that way.

Congrats on your now 19 mths. I am in the last of my icky 3's and having a rough time of it. I'm just concentrating on not smoking each day. Hoping to get through this mess before we go to the mountains on July 24. 

Thank you so much for the sweet note. You are loved and appreciated more than you could ever know. 

God bless!

Michele

Awesome Post! You continue to inspire and inform all quitters! All your great slogans, messages and pictures continue to help so many people thinking of taking the plunge. Congratulations on 19 months . You've proven that you are no sissy! relaxed

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Oct-10

Gosh, where to start.  Such an amazing post, Denim, and a big congratulations on 19 months free.  I hope life is settling down for you and all those you love are doing well now.  Thank you again for all you do here, all your help and encouragement that you give.  It is so greatly appreciated. Big hugs being sent to you !!

Image result for congratulations

CindiS319

From: CindiS319

Oct-11

Great message my quit sister!  Big hugs to you and here we are on to our 20th month!  

Denim50

From: Denim50

Oct-12

Hey Jan, 

     Thank you! It is difficult and it’s true that it was the first port of call for most of us. However, as you know, it is doable. We can get past it, and as we do, what we find is that the more times we get beyond or through those negative things without smoking it makes us a little bit stronger and that strength adds up, as it starts to dawn on us that we’ve managed to get through them and past them on our own without that “crutch”. That we, on our own, were strong enough and that it wasn’t really needed after all. That, we did it! In turn, that bit of strength boost our confidence in our quits, and more importantly in ourselves and our ability. It becomes easier the more we do that and the further we distance ourselves from it until we’ve found we’ve gained freedom. You are doing this and you’re doing great. Seven months smoke free is awesome! Stay strong and keep going. Again, thanks so much for the congratulations. Hope you’re having a wonderful day. Talk again soon.  

 

  • Edited October 12, 2019 10:30 am  by  Denim50
Denim50

From: Denim50

Oct-12

Hey Michele, 

     Thank you! I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I remember when we (March Warriors 2018) we’re going through it and how hard it was. I’ve been told by one friend that it’s vague after all this time. Frankly, I try to recall so as not to put myself through that again, geez. As I said, I’m sorry that you’re at that difficult point, but you must focus on the positive. The fact that you’ve come so far, that if you continue to stay strong you will get through this too. That another month will arrive and you can get beyond this. Tell yourself that it’s the nicotine recognizing that you’re moving ahead in life without it and that your body is healing from it. You are winning. Keep doing what you’re doing taking each day individually and stay in the moment, a minute at a time. You can do this! It will pass and it truly does get easier. We’re all here cheering you on. Tell yourself that you’ve stood up and came through everything life has brought your way so far, and you’ve rode out those hurricanes, and you can kick nicotine’s ___ too. You are strong! It doesn’t know who it’s messing with but it’ll find out. And I will happily celebrate your next milestone with you again next month. Keep going and don’t fall for those thoughts it provides. It’s a bully and it lies. You deserve better than that. You came at this quit with such determination and have maintained it. As I said, I have no doubt that you can do this and succeed. We’re all here for you. Sending so many good wishes and positive thoughts your way. Big hug.  

 

4quitness

From: 4quitness

Oct-12

Thank you so much! I could never disappoint my family and supporters on this forum after all this time, but mostly I can't disappoint myself. I will make it through this, because this is my first and my only quit . There will be no starting over. I don't have it in me to suffer this much again. 

You are some of the others on this forum are my heroes. I appreciate each and very one of you more than I can say. We are all survivors of a horrible war. All of us have the choice of coming out the other side victorious!

Michele

Killed the beast 7/9/19

Denim50

From: Denim50

Oct-12

Hey Debbie, 

     Thank you. The same can be said for you and far longer. You have helped and continue to help so many here, myself included, and continue to be a such great support to all. Sending love and gratitude back to you.  

 

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