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SOS   Quit Support

Started Oct-17 by KalyaRed; 4217 views.
KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Oct-18

Hello, 

I'm 37. This must be my 1000th time quitting. I always lose my quit to depression and bursts of anger. Being chronically depressed I can't take any more medication than I already do. Depression gets worse when I quit. 

I've read a lot about it and I do everything I can to go around it. I workout, I try to be positive, I eat healthy, I take walks, I play with my cat, I rely on my friends, drink herbal infusions, but I have a terrible insomnia and whatever I do I always wake up between two and four times a night. 

So yeah I hope it can be done even with all these conditions. I've got a terrible headache today. 

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Oct-18

Hi Michaela, 

The day's just started and I wish it was already nighttime... 

I'm sorry for being so negative today but I can't help myself right now. 

I hope you're going strong!! 

Hugs from Portugal! 

4quitness

From: 4quitness

Oct-18

Oh Kayla, your SOS went out to most of us in the middle of the night. Don't do it! You will still be depressed, scared, angry, or whatever emotions you are experiencing whether you smoke or not. Smoking. Changes. Nothing. You will still have these feelings along with losing what you have worked so hard to achieve. I could give up my 3.5 mth. quit in a heartbeat. I want to smoke every single day. I'm not going to do it, because it's not going to change anything. The only thing that changes is your health, and in my case, I will have let down so many people, and most importantly we mustn't let down ourselves. WE are the ones that count the most! I hope you didn't cave and threw that pack out. 

Hang tough. You can do this. I can do this. We ALL can do this!

Michele

Hi there Kayla. Quitting is WICKED TOUGH!!! 

Those cigarettes screwed up your brain chemistry and some of us do have a harder time with The Quit. We are all unique in how we cope with life's struggles. All I can say is to make an appointment with your doctor and perhaps he/she can suggest medications to help you with those depressive thoughts. I remember feeling very blue right up to month four and then my moods lifted. I was told that some receptors had shut down and these ups and downs in mood and zest would continue in waves as the months went by. The difference is as the months go by the intensity does lessen its just we get bored and frustrated with the painfully slow process. I got headaches and the blues right before more receptors were ready to shut down and I chose to believe all the long term quitters and hang in there. I'm glad I did as I just passed my 6th year quit. My emotions and my body chemistry all evened out and now I'm feeling awesome and free. It's great to get the drug addiction behind me and you can do this too. Stay busy, distract yourself to stop yourself from caving. It's totally normal to constantly think of smoking because the drug addict nicotine monster wants to be fed. Don't fall for it ever again because it's a trap that covers you in addiction once again. 

Stay close to your forum friends and go out to fun pleasant places where smoking isn't permitted anyways. Be proud of your monumental journey as you are breaking free once and for all. Show that nicotine monster who's the boss and tell him to aahhh shut up. stuck_out_tongue

"Quitting isn't for Sissies!" I quit poisoning myself Sept. 27, 2013

June2019

From: June2019

Oct-18

K-

Here are some things I've found helpful in battling negative/depressive thoughts and insomnia (a good nite's sleep is so important to healing/recharging):

Regarding insomnia(getting to sleep and back to sleep), here are a couple of youtube videos with 10 hours of soothing sounds to bring on the zzzz's:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujyu7tkyxtw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekXFslHOvZ8

Michael Seally has a youtube channel with guided meditations and supposed sleep hynosis for a variety of things, I find his voice soothing to fall asleep to:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vx8iUvfyCY

Many a nite I've nodded off with 2 video's playing: 1 white noise(rain/singing bowls/train) and 1 of a guided meditation.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS - Ralph Marston's Daily Motivator site has short writings that helped gain a more positive perspective. There have been days where these messages really motivated me to get out of bed/keep going/stop feeling bad for myself:https://greatday.com/index.html

Again, what you're going thru stinks, but you are not alone. Here's to moving forward, not back!

  • Edited October 18, 2019 12:11 pm  by  June2019
CindiS319

From: CindiS319

Oct-18

Kalya,

Just know you're in my thoughts and I'm sending positive vibes your way.  Having a smoke isn't going to help with what you're dealing with in anyway and will probably add just another thing to what you're going through.  You've come 2 months... that is HUGE!!!  You should be so proud of yourself!  Hang in there and know that there's people like me out here rooting you on and cheering for you making it yet another day smoke free.  You can do this.  Hugs!

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Oct-18

I wish I could give you a big hug, Kalya, but just know that I am sending them mentally.  Life can really dish it out sometimes, I so get that, but I hope you can hang in there.  I have always caved at those times of stress, loneliness and depression and then instantly wished I hadn't.  The smoke only seems precious when you don't have it, once you do it, it is not precious at all. I really do understand and I hope I will listen to these same words when life really wants to get me down. Maybe if you get rid of this addiction, you will feel stronger to deal with life's other problems, but I know that life's problems and depression will come again and we will have to deal with it again, so hopefully we can deal with it head-on without the cloud of smoke around us. I hated the fact that I smoked, that's why I quit, what makes me think it will be different now ?  I wish I was better at saying things, but I tend to babble on. Stay strong, Kalya, a smoke won't help a thing. Tomorrow is a new day, make it what you hope it to be.  BIG HUGS to you !!!!!

In reply toRe: msg 17
KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Oct-18

You are all wonderful people for coming through at this time. 

I'm just trying to hang in the office, in two hours I'll be free for the weekend. My headache is killing me. 

I just have to not cry until I get home. And not yell at people. Getting fired would be terrible. Maybe I'll take a long bath. 

Thank you all so much. I'll re read all these messages as soon as I can. 

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Oct-18

Hi Michele! You're right. It won't change anything. 

I went to a bossa nova concert instead. 

I was dragging myself on the way there and feeling really doomed and sorry for myself. I was actually contemplating smoking but not before I read all these posts carefully. 

I delayed the cigarette as much as I could and the concert really lifted my mood. I also ate a lot of sugar free halls. They warned me to be careful about eating too many but I was feeling like a rebel without a cause anyway. 

Thanks for reaching out :) 

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Oct-18

Hi Debbie

When I wrote you about having episodes of anger/sadness before repectors shutting down I think an image was created in my mind. Now I always see this image:

https://archives.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/images/colorbox/brainscans_1.jpg

And I'm so afraid to have nicotine in my system and I really don't want to wake up the sleeping receptors. 

I guess this time I've managed - with a little help from my friends

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