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SOS   Quit Support

Started Oct-17 by KalyaRed; 4174 views.
KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Nov-2

Happy two months of freedom, Brenda!! 

I'm proud to be by your side in the journey!

You're a very strong a sweet person and I hope you keep NOPEing :) 

Warm hugs from Portugal! 

Thanks for responding.  I start my third month tomorrow.  I just don’t feel like myself.  I’m still doing things but I almost feel like a robot.  I had to quit because I developed  a tumor in my mouth.  Came thru the surgery fine, no further treatment needed.  I don’t know if part of this feeling is from that or if it’s all withdrawal symptoms.  

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Nov-3

I think part of it is that in the first months we are really vigilant about everything we think and do. 

Then as time goes by we get tired and feel like we can't keep that alertness all the time. 

Part of it may also be that you feel like you're free of danger so the idea of quitting is less attractive. 

But mainly, smoking messes with our brain chemistry. It throws us into a bit of a depression that can be bigger with some people and not as aggressive with others. It takes a while for the brain to readjust to the new mode. 

But see, I know all this. Intellectually. Which doesn't mean that I struggle to make this true emotionally. I don't even know if I'm going to three months or just two weeks since I relapsed. But hey we're struggling and quitting is horrible. I just hope it's the last time we have to do it. 

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Nov-3

Thank you, Kalya.  Yes, quitting is tough and I know that in the past a relapse or slip would put me right back to square one.  Amazing how that addiction just wakes right back up.  And then like you say, 2 - 3 months quit and the newness of the quit wears off and you still have to stay strong. It is a tough battle, but I know that I don't want to go back, so I will keep going forward.  I have battled this addiction for so long, I just don't want to keep starting over again and again.  So with acceptance of the addiction, I am going forward, til I see the light.  Keep walking with me, Kalya.  We can and will do this. 

JohnsonFu

From: JohnsonFu

Nov-3

Hi Kalya, 

hope you are doing fine! Sorry I have been off a few days. Been doing lots of random stuff catching Pokémon, inviting friends to my house and I going myself a bonsai plant. Trying to get the hang of grooming it. All just to keep me distract away from the junkie thoughts. 
 

I realise as Long as I don’t have free time. The craves don’t resurface! 

how are you kalya?!  

kick the cigg butt
 

JohnsonFu

From: JohnsonFu

Nov-3

Hi nircelaj5, 

Nice to hear from you! . Happy to hear you are doing so well. It’s been so Long. I Guess once u are able to be off the forum u should be doing well. Care to share your secret?!?

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Nov-3

A bonsai is a great hobby! I'm jealous! 

I've been too busy with planning to move, plus I don't really have free time considering I spend 9h at work, plus at least two hours from home to work and from work to home, the continuous strikes and delays in public transportation makes that at least three hours, making dinner, sleeping for a bit... 

But I really have to find time to workout. I'm putting on weight and if I gain more weight I'm going to start using excuses to relapse. 

Oh the joys of being a smoker and then stopping. I wish I'd never started. 

Let's do this. I can't get to a year clean soon enough. 

Brenda (1sept19)

From: Brenda (1sept19)

Nov-4

KalyaRed said:

But I really have to find time to workout. I'm putting on weight and if I gain more weight I'm going to start using excuses to relapse. 

I understand, Kalya, it was always an excuse for me.  This time I am just eating healthy, the occasional treat and riding my bike. I have told myself that the weight gain is something I will take care of later.  If I can't breathe, will the weight gain really matter ?  Be proud of what you are doing and be kind to yourself.  You deserve this gift and the weight gain can be dealt with later.  If you can quit smoking you will certainly be able to lose some weight later. relaxed

KalyaRed

From: KalyaRed

Nov-4

I've been telling myself exactly that! 

Plus everyone always complained I was too skinny anyway :D

Not that other people's opinions really matter but I've been trying out this other reality - having people tell me I put on weight. A bit ridiculous though - I've only gained about 1kg since I got married and I was smoking then. 

I'm more worried about those excuses feeding my inner junkie than I am with the weight. 

Thank you anyway Brenda :) 

You keep me such a lovely company! Sorry if this is not phrased correctly. 

JohnsonFu

From: JohnsonFu

Nov-7

Not sure if I am doing it right. 
Can’t seem to see any changes to the Bonsai. 
hope I don’t destroy it. 
 

how are you doing?! Hope you are not distracted by your relapse. The fight continues! Let’s do it. :) 

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